THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, October 6, 2022

Edition 58

HEALTH OFFICIALS SCRAMBLE AS NEAP-1 SPREADS RAMPANTLY

By: Porter

NEAP-1 continues to spread rapidly this week as health officials appear to be scrambling to try and contain it ASAP.

According to an internal memo obtained by the Tribune, top health officials are puzzled and frustrated over the source location of where the disease could be coming from with very little leads to work with.

Even more so, the disease is infecting more and more people each day, as cases hit over a thousand on Sunday. As of Wednesday evening, they sit around 2,638- a number that will unfortunately continue to grow.

Ophelia, one of the top infectious disease experts at the DDCP who has been tapped to lead the Neapworm response, admits that it will get worse before it gets better.

“I can’t stress this enough, but things will get ugly before we can even say it’s getting better,” she stated last Tuesday at a press conference, “If you start having symptoms of NEAP-1, just stay home. Call the DDCP and lock yourself in your home until they can come to assist. It’s only best.”

The Dimension Protection Force has ordered the America ward to be locked down until further notice. Residents are not able to leave the ward, nor can anyone enter- unless they are a resident there. Residents are still able to traverse freely among its enclaves, but they are strongly urged not to, as the risk of encountering NEAP-1 infected individuals is getting serious.

“Residents in the America ward should stay home as much as they can,” Ophelia stated, “We can’t risk getting people hurt by the infected. If you don’t have any valid reason to be outside, stay inside.”

According to internal DPF memos, the Neapworm outbreak has finally reached word of the Council, who have been strangely quiet about the situation, and have been secretly meeting to discuss and decide what to do in the near future. It’s likely that a dream world-wide decision could be made soon to combat the disease.

As of now, a majority of cases remain in the America ward of the District, but additional cases are popping up more often in other wards, and that now includes the Africa ward. It’s likely the DPF may extend its lockdowns to other wards if the trend continues.

“We’re actively reviewing our plans and assessing them,” Director Ferekides of the DPF stated, “At this point, it’s a serious situation and we’re determined to do everything to combat it.”

The DDCP is scheduled to release guidance to the public about NEAP-1 in the next few days, which ranges from tips and advice about the parasitic disease as well as the infected. In the meantime, visit their website for the latest and stick with the Subliminal Tribune for updates.

HALLOWEEN PLANS COULD BE SOURED BY NEAPWORM 

By: Arial

Neapworm could spoil any Halloween plans this month, and it’s causing concern among some residents.

According to the DDCP, the Neapworm outbreak is expected to persist throughout the rest of the month, and with more and more infections, the thoughts about a cancelled Halloween is unironically frightening.

“Halloween can’t get cancelled this year!” a local mummy says, “This is when it’s my time to shine! If there’s no Halloween, then what’s the point of even going out to celebrate?”

“This stupid parasite is already ruining some of my Halloween plans,” a local skeleton tells me, “I can’t be spooky or scary since those zombies are taking the spotlight away from me!”

“Whoever planned for a zombie outbreak in October is really crazy,” Dylan, a local postal delivery worker says, “Think about it: what better month to have zombies out here running around than October. It’s all staged! I just wonder who could’ve done it!”

The disease is slowly beginning to prompt some businesses to shut down in fears of getting sick. Although Neapworm is not contagious, the fear of it is.

“There’s an old saying that ‘nothing spreads like fear’ and I’m afraid that’s what’s happening with Neapworm,” Nate of the DPF tells me, “Believe it or not, I’m being told that M3-0W and I are going to get teamed up with Ophelia to go investigate this mess. Just another thing on the to-do list now! Hahaha…oh boy…”

Businesses being shut down mean that it may be a very fearful and dark Halloween this year. Without places to go visit, hang out, or party at, the holiday is looking to be dismal.

“Boo, zombies suck!!” Almoral, a so-called “famed'' necromancer tells me, “If you ask me, they don’t even have the guts to come and get a piece of me- and I’m not talking about my brain or whatever else they eat. No! I’m talking about coming to fight me fair and square. They won’t ruin my favorite holiday- I won’t let that happen!!”

Halloween could be on the line this year, and as Neapworm doesn’t appear to be slowing down, it’s all a matter of watching and waiting to see what happens by then.

Q/A: Ask Lucid

Dear Lucid, are zombies real? 

By: Zimm B.

Greetings Zimm. Zombies are very much real, but they are not as dangerous as the stories make them out to be. 

A majority of zombies are not the “monsters” you may see on film or hear about in stories. While brought back to life from the dead with forbidden magic, they are often quite passive and simply wander around looking for a new purpose in their undead life. Unfortunately, it can be quite tough when you are decaying and smell unpleasant, but they do not mean harm a majority of the time. I used to be friends with some, and I can say that they were all quite kind.

Dear Lucid, do dream demons even rest? 

By: Amimi R.

Hello Amimi. You may know already that dream demons do not sleep, but that does not mean we do not rest.

We too get tired after spending long periods of time moving around, perhaps working or doing some sort of other physical activity. We take the chance to lay down and rest for a bit, but we do not fall asleep doing so.

Think of it as closing your eyes while laying down except you never fall asleep. You are still quite aware of your surroundings, but at least you are relaxed and taking a break until you feel well rested. It is best to leave a resting dream demon alone, not that it is dangerous to disturb one that is resting, but it is rather rude in general to disturb anyone peacefully relaxing.

Dear Lucid, can you tell me a creepy story? 

By: Cameron Pifyre

Hello Cameron. Here is one I find strange, but interesting nonetheless.

“For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn.”

Dear Lucid, are there safe havens out there in the dream world for you to hide in? 

By: Heaven Lee

Greetings Heaven. There are some locations in the dream world that I can consider “safe havens” for me to visit. In fact, these places do not see me as a criminal and welcome me there. However, I still do not fully feel safe in those locations since I can never truly know if anyone will report me upon seeing me. Though, such places are actually well hidden and provide refuge for other criminals or those misbehaving. Still, I tend to avoid them.

Dear Lucid, have you eaten any autumn desserts this season? 

By: Samson E.

Hello Samson. I have recently made my own pumpkin pies and shared it with some friends. I have been making these pumpkin pies for a long time now, but the recipe has remained the same. I will not spoil the recipe, but if you wish, I can make some for you to try out. I am a pretty good cook after all.

Dear Lucid, what’s your opinion on Neapworm? 

By: Paris Cyte

Hello Paris. NEAP-1 is indeed a novel disease as I have never heard of it before. I have read about countless diseases throughout history, but NEAP-1 is new.

From what I know, it is not something that originated in the real world. There are plenty of diseases in the real world- some that have caused great sickness and despair, especially in recent years,- but NEAP-1 did not originate here. As far as I can tell, it is likely man made. 

This means that someone may have crafted it specifically to turn people into zombie-like individuals with the sole purpose of spreading like wildfire and possibly dismantling dream world society. If that is true, then the dream world may be in a tough position. The DDCP must find the source of it immediately, but who can say that they will do it in time?

I am going to see Nate in a few days so that they can tell me more information about it. I am not sure if I will be of much help with the limited information I may get, but perhaps I will give him some advice on what to do. I just hope that Nate and everyone else I care about do not get infected. This outbreak may soon turn into an epidemic, and I hope you stay safe too. Take it from me, when things get tough, listen to the experts. You will honestly not be surprised at what happens when you do not…

Upcoming Events:

Now- Beach dimension returns: The sea fog has rolled in and so has the Beach.

Now- Lucid returns to his realm: It’s about time he comes back to the dream world, even though he does so at the worst time ever.

October 13- Halloween Party 2022 construction: Shelter in place order in effect for this area until further notice…

October 20- Halloween Party 2022: Halloween’s around the corner, but so are those who have gone entirely mad with Neapworm…

October 20- Almoral’s mansion rerun: Revisit Almoral’s mansion as it was during last year’s Halloween Party. I mean, don’t you miss when he was kind of scary?