THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, September 29, 2022

Edition 57

DDCP ANNOUNCES NOVEL DISEASE, NEAPWORM

By: Porter

Last Monday, the Dimension Disease Control and Protection agency announced the discovery of a new disease which has been dubbed as “NEAP-1”, or Neapworm.

Short for Neuro Erratic Aggression Parasite, NEAP-1 is a parasitic disease that affects a person’s brain. The parasite attaches itself to the brain and causes its host to behave erratically, aggressively, and violently towards others. People are not responsive when confronted, meaning that they don’t seem to be in control of their actions when infected with NEAP-1.

Because of this, many are beginning to attribute this as a “zombie” apocalypse, but the DDCP is warning against using this type of terminology. 

“Those infected with Neapworm are not zombies,” Ophelia- a top infectious disease expert at the DDCP who has been tapped to lead the response- stated, “Zombies, as we know, are those who die and come back ‘undead’ but these people haven’t died and been brought back to life. They are still very much alive, but are in a trance-like state where they are not one hundred percent conscious.” 

As of Wednesday, the number of people detained by the DDCP who have been put in a safe place is 349, with a grand majority stemming from the District. According to the health department, the main goal right now is to find the source of the outbreak. 

“Once we find the source of the outbreak, we can shut it down to prevent further people from getting sick. It’s unlikely that there are multiple sources it could be coming from, so we are actively trying to track down the source,” Ophelia says.

According to the DDCP, they are actively investigating a few key areas in the America ward in the District.

“Since most cases are from the America ward, we’re mobiling agents in that ward and tracking down some key areas of interest where the disease could be originating from,” Ophelia says, “There are some sporadic cases outside the District in the rural dream world, but it’s probable that these individuals contracted it from visiting the District, although we are trying to assess their location history within the last few weeks.”

At this time, this is being treated as a level 2 biological threat to the dream world, but the DDCP asks the public to remain calm.

“The risk of infection to the public is about low to moderate, but we ask everyone to remain calm. The last thing we want is people panicking amidst a serious situation,” Ophelia states, “Just keep listening to health authorities for the latest information.”

More news about Neapworm will come out when it is available. Please visit the DDCP’s website for the latest up to date information on the disease.

NEAPWORM, WHAT WE KNOW AND WHAT WE DON’T

By: Oswald

Neapworm appears to be infecting more and more people by the day, but since it is a new disease, there are things we know and things we don’t know. Here is a special article detailing the facts we know so far, and clearing up uncertainty.

What we know:

Symptoms: From what’s been observed so far, the symptoms of Neapworm appear to be fever, sweating, uncontrolled salivation, bloodshot eyes, insomnia, vomiting, loss of motor skills, and uncontrollable aggression. DDCP asks to report anyone who is beginning to display symptoms of this, and it can include yourself.

Transmissibility: At this time, it does not appear that Neapworm is contagious. This means that an infected person cannot infect a healthy individual. DDCP says that it is a good sign so the number of infected do not exponentially grow. Because of this, the DDCP isn’t recommending health protocols like wearing a facemask, but they do recommend washing your hands.

Type: Neapworm is caused by a parasite- a worm that attaches itself to the brain. This was done using special technology that examined the brains of those infected.

Mortality: There have been no reported deaths from Neapworm at this time. This means that while you could get infected, there is a very unlikely chance of passing away from it.

Incubation period: This is the time between getting exposed to a disease to the time where you begin to experience the first signs and symptoms of it. For Neapworm, it appears that it takes about 4-6 days from first being exposed to then displaying the first symptoms. 

Display of symptoms: There are no cases of asymptomatic individuals with Neapworm, meaning that there are no cases of people being infected and not showing symptoms for it. Every case of Neapworm has individuals displaying signs of it.

Patient zero: The first person to be detected with Neapworm appears to be someone from the Canadian enclave of the District dimension. The DDCP has not disclosed this individual’s name, and will likely not disclose it.

What we don’t know:

Source: The DDCP still does not know the source of the disease. Because a grand majority of cases are coming from the District, they have stationed more agents in the America ward as they believe the source might be somewhere in that area.

How the parasite behaves: While we know that the parasite attaches itself to the brain, the DDCP is not sure what the parasite does to have its host behave in a very unresponsive and violent way. Parasites tend to feed off of something from its host, but it is yet to be determined what that is. The current hypothesis is that the parasite could feed off of certain emotional chemicals in the brain, but more tests and examinations are needed first.

Origin: Different from the source, this refers to how the disease even appeared in the first place. Neapworm has not been seen in the real world, so this discards the theory that it came from the real world. The second theory is that it originated naturally in the dream world, however, there is little evidence to conclude this at this time. The third theory is that it may have been an experiment gone wrong from illegal, secret laboratory activity in the dream world, but this also has little evidence at this time. If it is indeed from illegal activity, there are no suspects at this time.

Recovery time: People can recover from most diseases over time, sometimes a week or two. Neapworm does not appear to be recoverable over time, so infected individuals could be infected for a while.

Outbreak duration: The DDCP reiterated that this outbreak could last weeks, even months. They warned that more people will get infected, and it could become an epidemic if it extends outside of the District at a rapid rate.

Exposure site: We’re still not sure where people can be exposed to the disease. The DDCP believes it could enter through the nose by smelling, or perhaps it could enter through the mouth by ingestion. That is yet to be determined, but they are leaning more towards the mouth being the site of exposure.

Treatment, remedies, cure: There are currently no known treatments, remedies, or even a cure for Neapworm at this time. The DDCP is working around the clock to study the parasite and determine possible treatments, but that could also take months.

Those are some of the things we know and don’t know about Neapworm at this time. All information was taken from the DDCP’s website. As more information comes out, the Tribune will be listing it in the newspaper and on our website too.

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, what is Cappy’s Cat Cafe all about? 

By: May D.

Hi May! So you too have gotten word of Cappy’s Cat Cafe, huh? Well, the cafe is relatively new, from what I’ve heard!

The Cafe was opened in 2020 by Cappuccino, yes that’s his name- though, he prefers to be called Cappy-, a local cat-hybrid with a passion for baking and making drinks like tea and coffee. Cappy had gotten word of a trend in the real world of humans becoming interested in the concept of cat-like people dressing in maid outfits and figured this was his time to shine.

He bought up some empty land near a trailer park and had a company build the cafe. Within a month or two, the cafe was up and running! Unfortunately for Cappy, the cafe is slow business. It seems like the dream world isn’t necessarily ready for that type of aesthetic yet, although if this was in the real world, I think he’d have more success!

That’s not to say the cafe doesn’t have its regulars. There are people who frequent the cafe for its food and drinks, but probably mostly because of the employees. To work there, it’s recommended to be a male cat-hybrid, or at least a male willing to dress like one. Not sure I’d like to work there…

The cafe itself is nice though! If you’re ever in the area, you should stop by and check it out. You should probably order something as well since business is slow… And if you’re into catboys, or a catboy without a job, now’s your time to shine!

Dear Nate, how did you and Lucid meet? 

By: Curry S. 

Hello Curry! Wow, Lucid! Lucid… he is… definitely an interesting figure. It’s kind of embarrassing how we met, but I’ll still tell the story! 

In my early years of existence, I was quite mischievous. I always found myself in some sort of pickle, and would occasionally get scolded by those who were older than me. Playing pranks on 2 others was always fun, but it also came with dangers. You prank the wrong person, you might pay the price. 

This happened to me! I ended up pulling a prank on some sleep paralysis demons and they got really mad. I ended up running for my life because those two demons were after me! I ended up being cornered in an alleyway with no escape. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified! But just as things seemed to be over for me, a figure leaped from the darkness and tackled them down with a large trident. It was so fast! He managed to scare them off into the night and helped me up. 

He introduced himself as Lucid of the Dimension Protection Force, sent out after the headquarters received a distress signal from this dimension. That was when I found myself thankful for being rescued, and got curious to see what the DPF was all about. It was Lucid who got me to join the DPF in the first place! 

Since then, it was Lucid who helped me with training when we became partners in the DPF, and we became very close. I am very thankful for him because he saved my life. Time has passed since then, but the memories of that night will forever be in my mind! Yes it was a strange first meeting, a bit embarrassing for me, but I wouldn’t be both where I am now and a changed dream demon without him! 

Upcoming Events:

Now- Biz Mart goes dark: Whoops! Biz Mart blew a fuse or two. Sid will try to restore backup power, but don’t expect it to come back entirely for a while…

Now- New area: Cappy thought the craze over catboys in maid outfits in the real world would be a hit in the dream world, but his cafe looks to be slow business. I guess the dream world isn’t ready for that yet…

October 6- Beach dimension returns: The beach is back, but it’s dark and stormy this time.

October 13- Halloween Party 2022 construction: I’m not sure if I would call this “construction”, per se.