THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, August 25, 2023
Edition 104
PARTY DIMENSION GETS CAMP-Y FOR BIRTHDAY PARTY
By: Arial
The Party dimension gets a temporary makeover this week as it holds a birthday party celebration.
According to the details, it appears that someone anonymously associated with the DFPS- the Dimension Forest and Parks Service- organized and planned a birthday party for one particular forest ranger. That forest ranger is none other than Kodia, a familiar face within the last two months or so.
“Oh! What do you mean someone came to throw me a party?!” Kodia exclaimed, “Gee, that’s so nice! I wasn’t expecting this at all! I was simply planning on taking a day off and going fishing or something, but I totally can’t miss this!”
Kodia is a forest ranger who works in the DFPS. She recently became a volunteer last June when the DFPS and DWPS collaborated on an assignment to study the ongoing weather data and wilderness. In said assignment, she discovered books scattered throughout dimensions which ultimately led to a more serious problem.
Nevertheless, the Party dimension has been temporarily redesigned to more of Kodia’s liking. That is to say, it appears that the wilderness has found the Party dimension.
“Well I walked in here and it looks just like my usual hikes!” Kodia says, “There’s bushes, dark lighting, and a dark ambience…it’s just like the outdoors! The only thing missing is the campfire, but I guess they don’t allow fires in here.”
Kodia says that she is delighted to have had a party thrown for her, but wonders who planned it.
“It feels great turning 120 and getting thrown a party like this, but I want to know who did this for me!” she explains, “I don’t want to say that I have a secret admirer, but whoever you are, please tell me! It would mean a lot! Thanks in advance!”
A section of the Party dimension is closed until further notice as Kodia’s party is being held. It should return back to normal by next week. Happy birthday, Kodia!
A HOT SUMMER LEADS TO HOPES OF A COOL AUTUMN
By: Porter
Summer in the dream world is still ongoing, but it should be winding down in the coming weeks.
Historically, summer in the dream world is observed from June 1 until August 31. This is essentially the final week of summer in the dream world before autumn arrives on Friday, September 1. But as summer begins to wind down, it doesn’t take much to realise that this year was hotter than normal- especially in June.
The Dimension Weather Prediction Service acknowledged that the data they collected last June did prove that summer would be “near above-average” as it was forecast. Now that the season is coming and going, the data gathered really puts into perspective the importance of collecting data.
“This is why it’s important to gather and collect data from various weather stations as the season starts to get a taste of what it’s going to be like,” DWPS senior meteorologist Cirrus explains, “Now that we did that, we could see that our forecasts were correct and summer was near-above average as we said it would be. Of course, this meant not the entire dream world felt the heat, but more areas than usual definitely did.”
Record heat was recorded in different areas of the dream world, including in the District, where a heat wave struck parts of the America, Europe, and Asia wards. The heat prompted various heat related advisories, but it also saw an increase of heat related illnesses.
“It’s important to follow all advisories and take advice from officials seriously,” DDCP Chief Ophelia explained, “We coordinate with the DWPS whenever meteorological conditions prompt serious health issues. The heat is no joke as I’ve said before, and it’s incredibly important for everyone to take advice seriously. We don’t want anyone collapsing from heat exhaustion or heat stroke.”
Since this is the final week of summer, the DWPS will soon give an early outlook on how autumn may shape up to be. At this time, they cannot give information yet as it is still too early.
“As much as I would like to say how autumn is going to be, I can’t do that yet!” Cirrus explains, “You see, we won’t be able to get an idea of what autumn will be like until we get a little closer to the start of it. We start getting ‘preliminary’ data around the end of the season which we use to issue an ‘early seasonal outlook’ which will later be tweaked a little as we release the official ‘seasonal outlook’ at the beginning of the season. But I get it, we all want cooler weather!”
Autumn is typically a cool season by historical standards, so we can only assume it’ll be cool this year. Still, following a hot summer, we may not want to hold our breath yet.
“Summer was indeed hot, but autumn could be warm. Who knows! Check back next week when we provide the official seasonal outlook for autumn,” Cirrus says.
For the latest weather forecasts and information, visit the DWPS’ website or your nearest forecasting for more resources.
Q/A: Ask Nate
Dear Nate, what’s up with all the radios in each dimension?
By: Ray Dio
Hi there Ray! That’s a very interesting question. I will try my best to explain what I know.
In my travels across the dream world, I too have noticed all of the radios in each dimension. They all play different music and can be heard in that dimension only. To understand the radio, we have to understand the physical radio itself.
In Reality, the radio was invented in the late 19th-early 20th Century, when humans built the first one. Upon its invention, the radio eventually landed and manifested itself into the dream world. Remember, things in the dream world can’t exist if humans don’t imagine or build it first. Tip: if enough people think of something, it becomes real- in the dream world, at least.
Now that’s the history of the radio, but the actual radio you encounter across dimensions, is another mystery! It is safe to assume that if you see a radio in a dimension, that dimension is modern; you’ll see a radio in the Class Dimension, but you probably won’t see a radio in, let’s say the Tomb Dimension. That’s because that dimension existed before humans invented the radio, so it can’t be in there!
All I can say is that I don’t necessarily know why it appears in A LOT of dimensions. My theory? Maybe someone planted a radio in each dimension to drive everyone crazy!! Like Santa Claus leaving gifts, except he leaves one radio in each dimension for whatever reason. I can’t necessarily call the radio a threat if it’s not hurting anyone. Maybe we will find out the truth someday!
Dear Nate, what’s considered “ancient” and what’s considered “young”?
By: Kidd Elder
Hi Kidd! The definitions of “ancient” and “young” have changed throughout the years- thank the Council for that- but there’s a certain age that things are considered one thing and another.
Anything ranging from an object, person, place, thing is considered ancient if it hits 2,000 years old. It can be an artifact, a dimension, a manuscript, and an individual too. I’m considered ancient since I’m over 2,500 years old! Lucid is much older than me, he’s over 5,000! He’s very much ancient, but not one of the oldest in the dream world.
Anything ranging from an object, person, place, thing is considered young if it is less than 200 years old. Same rule applies from above, so someone who is 50 is very young! Anything in between 200 and 2,000 is considered normal age- not too young, but not too old.
Time behaves differently in the dream world than in the real world, and sometimes it doesn’t make sense, heck, a lot of things in the dream world don’t make sense! It’s best to always ask and do your research if you’re not about something down here. Or, you could just ask me to answer in the newspaper. I may be ancient, but I still got the hang of answering questions!
Upcoming Events:
Now- Birthday Party: The Party dimension goes wild…as in wilderness that is! Kodia gets thrown a birthday party and she invites you to join her! Forest rangers do need a day off after all.
August 31- A Dystopian Nightmare quest ends: One more week before the world of Big Brother is gone. Who knew we were this close to having a machine destroy books for the sake of AI? Thank goodness Lucid and Nate were on the case and stopped it for good!
September 7- Seasonal dimensions return: Whether you like pumpkins for picking or caramel apples from a stand, we got you covered! The Patch and Fair dimensions are scheduled to return soon…in time for autumn in the dream world!
September 7- Birthday Party: Yet another birthday party is scheduled for a character, but at least this time it actually falls on their birthday. It’ll be a jolly good show indeed!