RESIDENTS REPORT SPOTTY ISSUES WITH RADIOS

By: Arial

The Dimension Patrol Unit has been getting inquiries about radios behaving abnormally for some residents in the dream world.

According to the reports, residents report random “decreases” in the frequencies when listening to the radio. While these temporary decreases seem to come and go at random times, residents say it’s strange as it hasn’t happened before.

“It’s a little strange, but I don’t think it’s too bad?” one resident told me, “The radio will play music and then for maybe a few seconds, it’s garbly and static and then it’s fine. It’s quick though.”

“It’s only for a few seconds really,” another resident said, “I counted it and it was about three to five seconds of static. It happens like once every four hours.”

The DPU says the inquiries that have been submitted regarding this have been brought to light to officers, but are not generally seen as “urgent” like other inquiries they may receive.

“Well when we receive reports about crimes, we take those very seriously,” a spokesperson for the DPU said, “Radios acting a little strange for a few seconds isn’t really eye-catching. I mean, it may be something serious but it doesn’t seem like it.”

Regardless, the DPU has let the Dimension Power and Energy Company know about the issue as it could stem from maintenance issues from transmission towers.

“We’ve let DPEC know to go check out transmission towers where these reports are coming from,” the spokesperson said, “It may just be old, faulty equipment that needs a cleaning or two. After all, those transmission towers that are out in the rural dream world are in secluded areas. DPEC workers will check it out.”

If you have any inquiries or tips, you can submit them with the DPU on their website or dial *1.

DDCP MONITORS SEASONAL ILLNESS 

By: Oswald

The Dimension Disease Control and Protection agency is currently monitoring a seasonal illness that’s currently spreading in the dream world.

Each year in the autumn season, RADS tends to spread at a slow rate in the dream world. RADS is an acronym for a virus that causes Recurring Abnormal Dream Syndrome. It’s a disease that, if a person is infected, leads to various nights of the same strange and vivid dream. Thankfully, the virus is not dangerous, but it is described as a nuisance.

“People who get sick with it toss and turn and have long nights of vivid dreams,” lead infectious disease expert at the DDCP, Chiaki, tells me, “Now, it's nothing dangerous, but you know, it's annoying to have the same dream for a week or two.”

RADS is typically spread by close contact with an infectious person who may cough or sneeze. For those with the disease, it's best to wear a mask.

“Masks have undoubtedly proven effective in limiting and halting the spread of various illnesses,” Chiaki explains, “Whether it's the common cold, influenza, or RADS, wearing a protective face covering helps. I mean, literally everyone in the dream believes this fact.”

So far this season, there have been 328 cases- a slightly higher than normal number for this point of the season. Chiaki says this isn't alarming, but the agency is monitoring it nonetheless.

“We're in contact with health offices that provide data about patients with various illnesses and have seen around 300 cases so far,” she says, “Our best advice is to avoid people who appear ill with RADS symptoms and for those who are sick to stay home.”

The DDCP says that for another year in a row, NEAP-1 has not been observed unlike RADS.

“We have thankfully not seen NEAP-1 spread in the dream world in 2024,” she tells me, “Our last case was back in November 2022 and since then, we've squashed the parasite and have seen no cases since. Thank Morpheus.”

Chiaki says that if anyone feels sick, they should always go to a doctor.

“If you feel sick, go to a doctor,” she says, “If it's a life threatening situation, go to the hospital. We want everyone to be safe.”

For the latest health news and other statistics, visit the DDCP’s website for more.

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, how long does it take for human entertainment material to reach the dream world?
By: Mughzic Kluver

Hiya Mughzic! So you've been wondering when your favorite human artist or series is going to put out their next work? Well, chances are that they already have! There's a policy that keeps thing a bit behind though.

If you didn't know already, there's a minute number of people who can visit the real world. There's a special team that goes out to bring human material for our entertainment and such. This team brings a copy or two down here so it can then be copied into production for larger audiences!

However, before something can officially be copied and later distributed in the dream world, there must be a gap of six months since when it was released in the dream world. That's half a year! This is because of a policy put up by the Council in 1922. Any music albums, video games, books, and any human products must wait six months before they get distributed in the dream world!

So while your favorite human artist might've dropped an album in the real world, you'll have to wait half a year to really get to listen to it. The same goes for video games, books and other fun human material! Isn't it funny that human material is popular in the dream world? I mean, we have our own authors and artists, but I guess we're more intrigued by human culture than our own. I love both equally, but maybe one day I'll get to see the real world on my own? Hmm, or not? I guess we'll find out some day!

Dear Nate, can you get moved around in the DPF?

By: Tran Sver

Hello Tran! Yes, it's possible to be moved around within the DPF. Actually, it's not necessarily as common as you think. 

You see, when you apply at the DPF, you do get to choose where you want to work. Many choose to work in one of the six big branches of the organization, such as the DIA, the DPU, the IAA, etc. However, it is possible to be moved in a few ways.

One way you can move is by filing a request with the director. The director will read this request and decide whether to accept or deny it. Depending on your personal record at the DPF, this will be key to whether you can move elsewhere in the agency or not. You have a better chance if your record is clean and/or you have experience or knowledge for the branch you want to move to.

Another way you can move is at the request of a chief. Chiefs can request an agent to be moved from one branch to another if they see you're performing well. This isn't common though as this method is not really popular. Still, imagine a chief in the DPF notices your hard work! Impressive!

One other way you can move is if the director himself handpicks you to be moved to another branch. The director will ask you if you wish to be moved to the branch and it is up to you if you want to. This method is quite rare, but this is how I went from patrol officer to detective and now as spy recently!

Of course, you don't have to move within the agency if you want. Perhaps you just really like being an intelligence officer, and that's okay! But of course, if you feel unhappy or unsatisfied with your current job, you always have the option to request a transfer into another branch. I wouldn't mind moving back to being a patrol officer, but I got bigger fish to fry!