THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, November 11, 2021

Edition 11

DINNER TO BE SERVED TO THOSE LOOKING FOR FEASTING

By: Porter

Mid-November is approaching fast, and so are the appetites for food.

In about a week, nostalogists are predicting the return of the Dinner dimension, not to be confused with the Diner dimension. This seasonal dimension returns every year for about two weeks, following a nostalgia wave brought forth by humans in the real world.

“It’s so thoughtful that humans would bring about such a dinner!” said a local shadow entity, “It’s wonderful to see everyone gathered around the dinner table. Thank you humans!” 

While the dimension is relatively small, it doesn’t stop visitors from coming and grabbing a quick bite to eat on the way home. “Oh yeah, the dimension is suitable for a lot of people, but mainly just stop by to grab a plate and go. Just like I do every year!” said a local werewolf.

According to historic reports, the Dinner dimension has been popping up for over a century now, but its appearance has varied throughout the years. In its earlier years, it would appear toward the end of November and into all of December. Nowadays, it only appears very briefly for an average of 14 days. The dimension’s appearance has also changed throughout the years; its most recent changed appearance occurred roughly six years ago.

The Dinner dimension also has a mixed dating period for appearing. It does mostly appear in mid-November now, but it does also have a chance to pop up during other months of the year such as late December, March, April and sometimes during July. It’s very hard to predict its appearance during off months, though.

Regardless, its next scheduled appearance is set for November 18. Visitors will be asked to bring their own plate for their own serving, or expect to be given a plate of food that may not fit their entire appetite.

UPTICK IN CAFE VISITS FOLLOWING PORTAL OPENING 

By: Arial

The baristas at the cafe are seeing an increase of visits following the opening of a portal in the Backrooms.

Shortly after the portal opened, there were many more visitors to the dimension, catching many baristas off guard. It has led to a slight backlog of orders and a near shortage of coffee beans.

“Y’know, I didn’t expect all of these people to come here at once!” said Artisan, the head staff member of the Cafe, “One day business is slow and the next we have a backlog of orders. Good grief!”

I asked Artisan for a brief rundown on the workplace and he stated that it is a very pleasant job and place to work out, but mentions that it can be stressful. “Oh sure, this joint is the spot to strike up conversations with other people. You meet a lot of curious faces and hear strange stories. But it can get stressful on days that many customers come by and you’re low on staff. I still wouldn’t trade it for any other job in the dream world.”

Artisan is another human just like me who got trapped in the dream world. He is slightly younger than me and has worked here for 4 years, he tells me. “To be honest, I accidentally stumbled upon the dream world after going hiking in the Rocky Mountains in the real world. This joint was literally the first recognizable place I remember seeing in my memories, so it almost felt safe and comforting to step in here. I picked up the job a few weeks afterwards, and well, here I am now.”

Artisan also explains that he is looking for employees. “Yeah, we’re kind of low on staff around here lately. It would be nice if we could get new recruits to work here. I’d prefer people to come work here than over at the Parlor dimension...no offense to them, I guess.”

The Cafe dimension is located south of the Mall and east of the Plaza dimension. Customers are asked to be patient, as orders are a little backed up and the place is running short on staff. In the meantime, why not pick up the latest issue of the newspaper and see what I’m up to?

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, why are there no rules for visiting the Void?
By: Raul Brayker

Hi Raul! You’ve probably noticed that there are no rules prohibiting anyone from visiting the Void, which is different from the rule prohibiting anyone from visiting the real world. There’s a reason for that! To understand the Void, we have to look at the past.

At one point in ancient history, a curious group of individuals would work on strange sorts of magic that others found intriguing. These same individuals would eventually end up finding the Void, but it was by accident! Upon entering the Void, they noticed that their magic no longer worked, and they were met with pitch blackness- literal nothingness, hence the name given for this world, void of life, water, and resources. 

Eventually, a group in the dream world noticed their absence and managed to save them from the Void. When they came back, they told their stories of their encounter in this new world and documented it for future generations to learn about. This is why nowadays, we know that the Void is literally a vast empty plane of complete nothingness. So why no rules?

That’s the reason why! Since the Void consists of practically nothing, it’s not really of any interest for anyone in the dream world to go visit it. Like, what’s the point of going if it’s just complete blackness for miles upon miles? Plus, the Void makes your own powers null and useless; it’s not known why things like your own powers, electricity and other gadgets stop working here, but it’s also why it is not a good idea to go down there to visit.

If you get trapped in the Void, you’re practically helpless! If you have no powers, no electricity, no food, no water, and no place to shelter under, it isn’t the most pleasant experience here. Getting trapped in the real world is different, since at least you have electricity and other things to survive, but this is the one place a rule is set in place to not go. So while no rule officially exists for the Void, it’s just common knowledge to avoid it all together.

I wouldn’t be surprised if a rule gets placed on it one of these days, though! But I doubt it, since the Void is much harder to get to than the real world is. I wonder if anyone’s been there recently since that documented ancient report I told you about?

Dear Nate, I recently got an artifact but don’t know where to use it. Can you help me?
By: Arthur Faxx

Hello Arthur! It’s very lucky that you got an artifact! It can be confusing to know what to do with it, so let me explain it for you.

Recently, a secret room in the Backrooms was opened up that allows artifact havers to visit seasonal dimensions that, while closed to the public, can be accessed if you own an artifact for it. We learned that artifacts give the owner the memories of said dimension, so you’ll be able to visit whatever dimension it offers access to.

In this room, the seasonal room, there are 12 portals. Each portal is given a name, depending on the month it relates to. Portal #1 would be January, Portal #6 would be June, Portal #12 would be December...you get the idea! Artifacts are also often related to the month it would go to. The Clover artifact would give you access to Portal #3, the Sun artifact would give you access to Portal #6, the Pumpkin artifact gives you access to Portal #9. You kind of just have to make a well educated guess as to what section of the seasonal room the artifact would go under, but it is usually quite obvious.

The seasonal room might be hard to find in the Backrooms, but there are markings on the wall that reveal a room behind it. They are faint markings, but just jump in, and you’ll be in! I hope this answered your question and more!

Upcoming Events:

Now- New dimension portals open up: If you’re looking to spark up a conversation while sipping some coffee, try the Cafe! Or you could hang out in the rain over at the Plaza. And you can even hang upside down in the Suite too if you want!

November 18- Patch dimension closes: It’s almost time for Cal to close up his pumpkin patch. Last call for any potential buyers!

November 18- More dimension portals open: Hear that? Sounds like it’s time to boogie down and get funky with it!

November 18- Dinner dimension opens: Let us gather around the dinner table and count our blessings to the almighty turkey.

November 25- Even more portals open: The sight of freshly fallen snow piles up in the parking lot of this place. It’s cold out, let’s head inside where it’s nice and warm.