THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, February 3, 2022

Edition 23

DREAM WORLD AWAKENS FROM WINTER STORM HIBERNATION

By: Porter

The dream world is finally seeing the end of what’s been dubbed as the “winter storm of the millenia” by many. 

For about two weeks, all non-winter outdoor dimensions were experiencing heavy snow that became surprisingly excessive in nature. According to the Dimension Weather Prediction Service, some dimensions reported up to a meter of snowfall, though some reports range up to a meter and a half.

The DWPS has sent out storm survey crews to assess any damages left by the freak weather event, though initial reports suggest that there are no grand immediate damages to infrastructure. Last Saturday, senior meteorologist for the DWPS, Cirrus, made a public briefing explaining the DWPS’ position in this, and reassuring that the agency was not at fault for the weather.

The Dimension Protection Force is currently investigating the cause of this event, which includes interviewing members of the DWPS and obtaining internal documents for overview. The DPF appointed the dream demon, Hallucinate, in charge of solving this mystery.

“Waa! I can’t believe they appointed me to go out and solve this! It’s not the first time that I solve a mystery though. Heck, Lucid and I used to solve mysteries all the time as partners in the DPF! This will be a piece of cake!” he told us.

Elsewhere, other dream world citizens are finally heading outside to get back to their daily lives. Clean up crews have been mobilized since Monday morning to begin clearing out roadways and dimensions of snow, and have successfully finished doing so last night. 

The DWPS states that February looks to be fine, but reminds the public to be wary of any changing weather conditions that could occur. For more information, you can visit the DWPS’ website for the latest forecast in any outdoor dimension, including any bulletins and advisories. 

POSTAL SERVICE PREPARES TO RAMP UP FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

By: Roman

February has rolled in, which means that the dream world is getting ready for Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is celebrated in different ways across the dream world, but most of the activities involve sending other letters of admiration and love.

The Dimension Postal Delivery Service sees a sharp uptick of postal deliveries for letters during February, and the agency often ramps up its services to accommodate for the high postal activity.

DPDS Chief Kaige says that she expects this month to run smoothly like all previous years, and emphasizes people to put in their letters a week ahead of time to avoid delays or late arrivals.

“Postal deliveries can become delayed or arrive late if people post them near Valentine’s Day,” she states, “So we recommend everyone to get them in by February 12 so our postal delivery workers get them to their destinations on time.”

Delivery workers all operate on their assigned service routes, which are paths that delivery workers take to go distribute mail in the dream world. Each delivery worker has a different service route, but they reach all known corners of the dream world.

“Oh for sure, yeah, delivering mail is pretty cool,” local postal delivery worker Dylan tells me, “You know, it’s so funny when I get to stop by to deliver mail in the Apartments. You should see the look on my boyfriend’s face when I knock on our apartment door and boom! It’s just me again!! Surprise haha!”

Dylan explains that holiday seasons are also pretty hectic, like Valentine’s Day. 

“Yep…Valentine’s Day. What is it with people sending letters…it’s like…2022. Shouldn’t we be at least sending digital letters, or better yet, teddy bears! Plush animals! And no offense, but rabbit plushies are top notch. Deliver those instead!”

The DPDS expects the valentine surge to begin by February 7 and could go past February 14 due to late and delayed letters. If you are sending a package, you can check its status and view additional information about the agency on the DPDS website. You can also contact them by telephone or visit your nearest postal office for more resources and assistance.

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, why do some dimensions appear to be from a different time period?
By: Sven Entese

Hi Sven! I see you’ve taken notice of how some dimensions appear to be from a different time period. As you know, we are in the 21st human century, which means that most dimensions should be “up-to-date” and modernized, but that’s not always the case!

Some dimensions appear to be “stuck in time” in which they look to be a bit antique and retro looking! But don’t blame us dream world citizens for that, it’s human memory and nostalgia that’s at work! You see, while dimensions can be modern, some remain stuck in their time period because humans most remember best that dimension from that specific time period. For example, if a majority of humans who lived in the 80s time period are still around and still vividly remember a specific memory, that dimension will end up looking very retro and from that time period. The 80s were definitely a fun time!

Let’s think of it like this: time may go on, but sometimes humans hold on to memories of times when they were happy, or so I’ve heard Sir Timely explain it that way. Take it from me, dimensions stuck in time feel very safe, but also a little sad- in a nostalgic way.

Even so, if enough time passes, that dimension has a 50-50 shot to become lost or become modernized. A good example is the Diner dimension; enough time has passed that humans from that time period no longer remember the Diner very well enough that the rest of us in the dream world can remember where it is. Another good example is the Hallway dimension; there have been countless variations of that dimension in the past, but the most modern one is the one you’re likely to visit today, as it’s been modernized due to human memory.

On the same topic, sometimes people who live in antique, retro dimensions end up stuck in time too! Their vocabulary, attire, behavior, and way of communication may seem a bit off to the rest of us who have caught up with the time, but they either choose to preserve that time period by behaving like they did during that time, or perhaps they have no idea that it’s not that year anymore. I mean, you can lose track of time in some dimensions…an hour can turn into a year without you even knowing…kind of scary!

Time is a very strange construct, even in the dream world. I hope this answers your question!

Dear Nate, what kind of powers does Lucid have?
By: Darrel P. Fitzgerald

Hello Darrel! Oh wow, a question about Lucid! Well, Lucid has many kinds of abilities, and this question would be better if it was asked to him, but I suppose I shall name a few.

Lucid has the ability to teleport to different places in an instant. In fact, a lot of dream demons should master this ability at some point in their lives. I’m still a little rusty with mine, which is why I prefer to walk most of the time. In the past, when Lucid and I were partners in the DPF, he would often use his teleport abilities to get to places faster than by foot. He would take me with him too. I remember his embrace each time we teleported somewhere…oh off topic!

In an ironic way, Lucid can also put others to sleep with a snap of his finger. Lucid’s done this a few times on missions before, especially when trying to capture criminals. He doesn’t really have to resort to violence…just one snap and poof! Sleep time! This ability doesn’t work on dream demons though…we don’t sleep!

He can also move objects with his mind- telekinesis! He says this ability takes a lot of patience to master, because after all, you are using a large portion of your brain to be able to do such a thing. The ability to move objects depends on the object’s weight itself. A lighter object takes little power, while a heavier object takes a lot of power. Lucid says you can “train your brain” so you can lift heavier and heavier objects. He can lift me! Though, I suppose I’m not really heavy…

Lucid can also stop time, however, Lucid doesn’t really like to do this because it can be risky. By stopping time, everything and everyone also stays frozen in place, unless there are people he doesn’t want to be affected by it. There have been times in the past where he freezes time just so we could spend more time together. It’s cool, but Sir Timely has scolded him in the past for it…

Regardless, Lucid has many more abilities up his sleeve, and his talent and knowledge have been acknowledged in the dream world by both the DPF and Council! He’s definitely an enigma and so dreamy…but don’t tell him I said that about him!! If you want to know more, ask him yourself!

Upcoming Events:

Now- Birthday Party: Surprise! Cirrus’ birthday is February 9, so let us celebrate it!

Now- Beach returns: Snow on the beach! Don’t worry, this is historically normal.

Now- New dimension portal: Watch your step in this dimension, no, seriously.

February 10- Valentine’s Party 2022: Like the song says, don’t go breaking my heart!

February 17- New portal opens: Going up? Going down? Going nowhere? Yeah, we got a button for that.