THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, February 10, 2022
Edition 24
DREAM WORLD CITIZENS SHARE WHAT THEY LOVE
By: Porter
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, some dream world citizens are sharing things that they like doing or love. I interviewed some citizens to see what they like and/or love:
Nate: I love my job! I’ve loved working in the DPF for all this time now. I also really like going around and meeting new people! The DPF recently put me in charge of an investigation and it’s been going well!
Figment: I love meeting everyone who stops by the Backrooms! Everyone’s so friendly…I love it!
Telly: I really enjoy channel surfing across the dream world! Oh the wonders you’ll see!
Cal: I love farming, and I love my giant pumpkin! Stay out of my maze!
Almoral: I love talking to the dead! Everyone has interesting stories to tell! I also like Lucid hahaha…maybe love? WAIT NO- don’t tell him I said that hahaha…come back Lucid…
Epsilon: I love my boyfriend. He can be a menace, but he is my menace.
Rainier: Decorating! Spreading joy! Wrapping presents! Did I mention I love Christmas?
Cirrus: I really like my job and anything weather related. Meteorology is so fascinating!
Dylan: I love love love looking at funny posts on the Internet. Memes! Reaction videos! Hahaha classic!! I also love my job, eh it can be pretty chill. Oh, I love my boyfriend too…I love annoying him haha! Such a ray of sunshine!
As for me, I enjoy working for the Subliminal Tribune and writing for this paper! From everyone here at the Subliminal Tribune, have a happy Valentine’s Day!
DDCP REPORTS SLIGHT INCREASE IN LOVEBUG CASES
By: Arial
The Dimension Disease Control and Protection released a statement recently detailing a slight increase in cases of Lovebug.
Lovebug disease, or Amorous Languorous, is a disease in the dream world that typically spikes in February. The disease is spread by tiny insects infamously called “Love Bugs” that appear most frequently during February. These insects spread the disease through a bite, in which individuals later develop symptoms within six hours or so.
While this may seem like a cause for concern, the DDCP says that infected individuals are not contagious, meaning they cannot spread the disease on their own, and urge people to wear long sleeved clothing.
Symptoms of Lovebug include lightheadedness, fever, flusteredness, slight chest pain, heart ache, excessive flirtation, and euphoria. It is recommended that individuals who are experiencing this get tested to verify it is Lovebug.
Lovebug is a virus, but the DDCP says it is in no way harmful to anyone.
“Yeah, Lovebug can be really annoying,” a DDCP agent tells me, “You got people swooning over others or being a real flirt. Lovebug can be more intense if it infects a person who already has feelings for someone else, and well, that’s annoying- do you get the picture?”
There is no real cure for Lovebug, and symptoms only last for about three days. However, some studies have shown that being resentful, hateful, or rejecting those with Lovebug may increase their recovery from the virus, or make them “snap out of it” like they say.
If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms after a bug bite, make an appointment at a medical facility to get tested and try to stay home to avoid any potential embarrassing scenarios. If you encounter someone infected with Lovebug, you should ignore and show no interest in talking to them. The DDCP expects this case spike to peak next week before declining once more. For more information, please visit the DDCP’s official website.
Q/A: Ask Lucid
Dear Lucid, where do dead people go in the dream world?
By: D. Redd
Hello D. When people die in the dream world, they vanish, a phenomenon known as “nothingness” by scientists. Unfortunately, we do not know where they go, and it is not into the Void. However, it is possible to resurrect dead individuals in spirit or into an actual undead corpse, though that would be a bit bizarre.
Dear Lucid, what’s the process to summon you?
By: Sue Mann
Hello Sue. I do not think I can disclose that information to anyone, but I can tell you that it involves a natural object in the real world that can be seen in some places in the dream world. Besides, why would you want to summon an old, boring demon like me?
Dear Lucid, how many levels of the Backrooms are there?
By: Norway Out
Greetings Norway. There are approximately 1,493,306 known levels of the Backrooms, and most are corridors or hallways. Some of these levels are connected to other dimensions in the dream world, but a lot of these levels are empty. Dream world citizens do not really use the Backrooms as a form of transportation, as they can easily get lost. Unfortunately, lost humans are the main species you will encounter in these levels. Case in point, there are a lot, and it is not worth exploring each level.
Dear Lucid, does pineapple belong on pizza?
By: Pete Za
Hello Pete. No it does not.
Dear Lucid, do you wanna go out somewhere this Valentine’s Day? Hahaha unless…
By: Almoral
Oh, well, I am not really one to observe Valentine’s Day and I do not think it would be safe for me to be out anyway. I do not mean to break your heart or anything…that is not what I am doing…well, perhaps someday just so you can stop asking me.
Dear Lucid, what did you like the most about working in the DPF?
By: C. Crett
Greetings C. One of the things I liked most about working in the DPF was getting tasked to go on investigation missions. When a crime goes unsolved, I used to enjoy getting partnered to go out and solve them. Did you know that I managed to solve all the cases I was tasked with? I could not have done it without Nate, though.
Dear Lucid, do you consider yourself to be old?
By: Anne Teek
Hello Anne. I suppose when you reach a certain age, you start to feel as if your senses are not where they used to be. Being over 5,000 changes someone like me a lot, and there are definitely things in life that I do not comprehend because of my age. For starters, modern slang language- what does “Lucid is in his flop era” even mean? Another thing is technology, though, it is not like I have a choice…you know, being cursed and all. So yes, I do consider myself to be old, and it makes me a little self conscious.
Dear Lucid, what’s 6°F converted into celsius?
By: Connie Verte
Greetings Connie. That would be -14.4444°C. Do you want to see something cool? Convert -40°F into celsius.
Dear Lucid, did you have anything to do with the recent weather event in the dream world?
By: Drake P. Folkson
Hello Drake. Now why would I want to alter the weather on such a large scale? It would take a lot of power to do that, and I do not have such resources or time to do such a thing. I do not understand why I am being accused of doing such a thing, but I suppose if you are a fugitive on the run with no other criminal record other than visiting the real world, then all the fingers would be pointed at you…sarcasm, obviously. Sigh, it is a tough world out there, is it not?
Upcoming Events:
Now- Valentine’s Party 2022: The loveliest party is here! Do you have a valentine?
February 17- New portal opens: Do you need to go somewhere? Hop on, I’ll give you a lift!
February 17- Almoral’s mansion returns: I guess he doesn’t mind having visitors anymore!
February 24- New portal opens: If this was a game, this level would be pretty dark.