THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, April 28, 2022

Edition 35

CONSTRUCTION SEEN IN PARTY DIMENSION

By: Porter

Recent movement and sounds coming from the Party dimension has sparked interest in nearby locals going to see what the noise is all about, and it looks like something’s going on.

Crates and other construction materials were spotted in the dimension, leading many to speculate about an upcoming party taking place there. Details are not that well known yet, but I asked a construction worker who was on site for some information.

“We got a request from a dude last week for a birthday party celebration to be held next week here. He gave us a run down of what the dimension should look like, the food, the decorations…you get the picture,” a worker told me.

“Listen, we got paid ahead of time to do all of this, so we ain’t complaining,” another worker told me, “I just hope we’ll get a chance to get some cake too.”

While being the dimension, I managed to stumble upon another newspaper regular who appeared to be checking the place out.

“What? Hahaha, no, I’m just here delivering mail,” local rabbit-hybrid Dylan told me, “If you think I have any part of this for a certain someone, well, you’re wrong! Hahaha, nothing weird going on here. If you want a real scoop, you should tell someone about the minimum wage I’m making! Now THAT’s a story!”

Despite claiming he has no connection to the construction, the Party dimension has not had any postal service routes go directly here, in like ever. While Dylan could be covering something up, we will not find out until next week when construction finishes. 

Travelers are asked to avoid the Party dimension for the time being, as construction is taking place. For those looking to celebrate birthdays or other occasions, please consider holding such an event in another dimension for now, until this event passes.

RAINY DAYS ARE EXPECTED GOING INTO MAY

By: Arial

The Dimension Weather Prediction Service is forecasting rainy days ahead, just in time for the start of May.

According to the DWPS, they are forecasting that some dimensions will experience ongoing days of precipitation, but do not expect anything severe or out of the ordinary. While some dimensions have already experienced severe weather this spring season, it has been very isolated.

“So far this season, we’ve seen the usual dimensions get their share of the ‘spring action’ that usually only comes in this season,” Cirrus explains, “So far, there have been two severe thunderstorms in the District, three reported tornadoes- two in the Field dimension and one in the Farm dimension- and spotty showers in smaller dimensions. This time, however, we are forecasting showers for even more dimensions for May.”

Cirrus explains that these showers happen annually and are light to moderate in nature.

“This won’t be anything like what happened in January- we all know what happened. Rain showers in dimensions for this time of year are normal, and only about 5% of those rain showers end up becoming thunderstorms with 1% of those thunderstorms even becoming severe in nature. These rain showers are light to moderate in nature, and although not significant, they can be annoying for those who do not like the rain- especially for days,” she explains.

When asked about the potential for flooding, Cirrus says it’s not necessarily a concern.

“When people hear about days of rain, it can be scary to imagine the rain falling non-stop and causing flooding in dimensions not normally prone to it. However, a lot of the outdoor dimensions have fair drainage systems that can easily handle any excess amount of water. That’s not to say we haven’t seen flooding every so often, but in any case, just listen to any advisories from the DWPS in case weather sensors are picking up on potential flooding.”

Cirrus tells me to expect these rain showers to roll in next week to some outdoor dimensions. For forecasts and other weather related information, please visit the DWPS website or visit your nearest DWPS office for assistance.

Q/A: Ask the main cast

Dear Nate, how’s your investigation coming along?
By: Noel Z.

Hi Noel! So, there have been a few roadblocks in the investigation, and considering that stuff keeps piling up, it’s getting a bit difficult to handle, but that’s still nothing a little dream demon like me can’t handle! Recently, M3-0W got appointed to help me out and she’s been my partner for this investigation. We haven’t solved all the mysteries of the weird things going on in the dream world this year, but patience is key…or so I’ve been told! Just hang in there, I won’t disappoint anyone with these cases!

Dear Fig, what’s under your hood?
By: Curry Ous

Hi Curry! Wow, a lot of people have asked me this question, but I like keeping it a secret! Aren’t things so much better when they keep you in suspense?! The mystery, the possibilities, the theories…it’s all so fun to think about!

Dear Telly, do you prefer analog or digital television sets?
By: Anna Log

Greetings Anna! The analog days were so much simpler! Nowadays, everything has gone digital, even televisions! I still haven’t really adjusted myself to the digital age, so I think I still prefer analog sets over digital ones. The reception isn’t as bad as others make it out to be!

Dear Cal, are you stuck in your own dimension since it’s seasonal?
By: Stu K.

Hello Stu. That’s pretty much true, but I reckon it ain’t so bad being stuck here when I got all the crops I can grow and all the time to myself. I also don’t gotta deal with these hooligans going into my crops and trying to steal my big pumpkin!

Dear Almoral, why can’t you clean and tidy up your mansion?
By: May D.

Hello there, May! Is my mansion not already glorious enough? Actually, Lucid used to go around and clean it when he came over. He even wore a cute, little housemaid outfit while he worked! And don’t worry, he volunteered to do it himself, but alas! My mansion is fine. You are just not a connoisseur of good house culture! Why don’t you come over and see how awesome it looks for yourself? You’ll also get to meet a certain handsome man ohoho-

Dear Epsilon, do you like getting headpats?
By: Pete Tin

Hello Pete. I don’t really like getting headpats…it’s…weird.

Dear Dylan, is he lying?
By: Dee Niall

Hey Dee! Yes he is. He loves headpats and I know this first hand!

Dear M3-0W, can you get sick?
By: Vee Russ

Hello Vee. I am subject to viruses in digital form, which includes malware like trojans.

Dear Sylveran, how do you plan on capturing Lucid?
By: Cee Krit

Hello Cee. Why, I just can’t tell you my plans on how I’ll capture Lucid, can I? Just know I have eyes and ears everywhere in the dream world. One can’t get away for too long…

Upcoming Events:

Now- Mansion goes public: Come one, come all, to the greatest mansion ever built!

May 5- Birthday Party: Construction’s been seen in the Party dimension…along with a familiar rabbit figure…

May 5- Neighborhood dimension returns: Ding dong- yes, it’s this again.

May 5- Rainy Days: In a weird turn of events, April flowers bring…May showers?