THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Edition 34



PROMOTING EARTH ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

By: Cirrus


Hello everyone! Senior meteorologist at the Dimension Weather Prediction Service, Cirrus, here with an important story worth talking about.


As you know, the real world consists of the planet known as Earth, which is reported by humans as the only planet in their solar system that can sustain life. Earth’s environmental and weather patterns are always changing, though in recent years, things are changing much faster.


The DWPS has reviewed scientific human research about the Earth’s climate, weather, and environment for the last half century, and has determined that Earth’s climate is changing much more rapidly than normal due to human activities. Despite the overwhelming human research, many on the surface still debate this fact, leading to an unfortunate future.


What does this mean for us? While our weather patterns rely on human memory, Earth’s changing climate means that future human memories will likely incorporate the rapidly changing environment of the Earth. The reason this is likely is based on precedent; at one point, most of the dream world was cold and icy, reflecting memories of Earth’s “Ice Age.” 


Using this precedent, it’s likely that the dream world will get hotter in the future, and that also includes more intense weather patterns. While the dream world’s climate will change, it lags behind Earth’s, due to human memory, of course. 


We may live in the dream world, yet we still try to raise awareness of the human Earth, since our world ultimately depends on their world. We don’t have much power to alter human opinion on a fact, but understanding that our climate reflects their memories, is important to understand the effects of a rapidly changing real world in a world beneath theirs. Hopefully, humans will learn to take care of their home to prevent disastrous consequences. After all, it is the only world they are able to live on in their solar system, and losing it would be devastating.


For now, we will not have to worry about our weather and climate patterns, but should humans act quickly, we won’t have to worry about it in the future either.



DDCP REPORTS INCREASE IN SEASONAL ALLERGIES

By: Porter


Spring is in full swing across the dream world, and a recent health report checks that out.


The Dimension Disease Control and Protection recently released a report detailing the recent uptick in seasonal allergy related incidents, compiled from numerous health related dimensions.


Spring is notorious for bringing about allergies to many people, leading to runny noses, sneezing, watery eyes, among other pesky symptoms.


These allergies are caused due to many plants undergoing their seasonal change from winter to spring- new blooms, primarily from trees that release pollen into the air. While some dimensions have fully transitioned into spring, there are sporadic reports of higher allergy particles in some dimensions. 


The DDCP states that while none of this is dangerous, they recommend that those with allergies wear glasses, hats, or masks to prevent pollen particles from entering the eyes, nose, or mouth- common areas where these particles enter a person’s system.


“Allergies suck! I hate blowing my nose all the time!” a local goatman states, “I would stay home, but I have to work!”


“Ha! Allergies? The Great and Awesome Almoral is not allergic to anything! You won’t catch me with a runny nose or sneezing all the time. Did you know that Lucid sneezes like a kitten? It’s so cute!” a local necromancer tells me.


“It can be a little annoying having to deal with allergies at any time of year really, but taking care of yourself can help prevent many of the symptoms,” Epsilon tells me.


While allergies can be bothersome, there are herbal remedies and medicines available to help ease symptoms. The DDCP advises to consult with a health professional for the best treatment that can be available for you at no cost. The health agency also expects allergy related incidents to subside within three weeks or so.



Q/A: Ask Lucid


Dear Lucid, what’s something you can do that many others cannot?
By: Tallen T.


Hello Tallen. There are plenty of things I can do that many others cannot. To name just one, it has to do with books. I am able to recite to anyone just about any famous, historical book from beginning to end. I am quite embarrassed I am able to do this, but being a passionate book lover who has read countless books- some many, many times- I am able to do this quite well for many works of both fiction and non-fiction.


Dear Lucid, do you like chocolate?
By: Coco A.


Greetings Coco. Yes, I like chocolate. I prefer it to be dark (which is the best kind).


Dear Lucid, out of the seven of them, what’s the worst sin?
By: Sinn Jinn


Hello Sinn. I would have to say that Greed is the worst of the cardinal sins. While you asked an opinionated question, one can almost say that this is fact…


Dear Lucid, do you know why some people see a halo on Nate’s head instead of horns?
By: Angel A.


Hello Angel. It has to do with his name: Hallucinate. Some people “see” a halo, but that is simply a hallucination. Nate has horns, but some people just see a halo sometimes.


Dear Lucid, what’s one common misconception about the dream world?
By: Vih Zitor


Greetings Vih. One of the biggest misconceptions about the dream world is that anyone can do anything and that anything is possible. While that is true, there are still rules to follow to maintain a proper, functioning society. There cannot be a society without rules, but I am not one to talk about rules, am I?


Dear Lucid, what’s one dream demon fact?
By: Dee Mann


Hello Dee. I am not sure if you noticed, but dream demon tails behave similarly to some animals’ tails. Do you know how a cat’s tail reacts to certain behavioral changes? Dream demon tails can also move, depending on their mood. However, we cannot wag our tails like dogs do. 


Dear Lucid, how many soulmates do you have?
By: Polly A.


Hello Polly. Many, many years ago, I consulted with an oracle to help answer some questions I had about my future (this was way before I got in trouble with the Council). One of those questions was if I had already met my soulmate. They told me I already had, however, they also told me that I was destined to meet one more. While I have figured out who one of them is, I have yet to know who the second is, or if I have met them yet. I told those closest to me about this revelation at some point, since it appears I am the only one among them with more than one. I only wonder who the second one could be, although Epsilon has told me he has a funny feeling I already met them. Well, that is enough talk for now. I have to get back to my regular business.



Upcoming Events:

Now- Earth Day event: It’s important to take care of the planet. After all, not only is it the only planet we call home, but it’s also the reason why the dream world exists!

April 28- Mansion goes public: Is it really a good idea for people to visit the dream world’s loudest necromancer who’s obsessed with the #1 criminal?

May 5- Birthday Party: Even the most serious cat hybrids do like birthday parties.

May 5- Neighborhood dimension returns: Insert knock knock joke here.