THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, May 5, 2022

Edition 36

CLOUDS ROLL IN AS RAIN SHOWERS BEGIN

By: Cirrus

Hello everyone! It’s Cirrus again with an important weather related update!

As you may have seen in the previous week, the Dimension Weather Prediction Service put out a statement in which it detailed that these upcoming weeks will feature rain showers moving across the dream world in various dimensions. 

Starting this week, spotty rain showers will be seen in some dimensions. Currently, the DWPS is not forecasting anything severe in the short term. While these showers will be pesky, the threat for thunderstorms is low, but we are actively keeping an eye out for any changes in trends.

Overall, this month will be very rainy for dimensions that aren’t normally prone to ongoing rain showers, and we expect this to extend to more dimensions soon. Unlike last winter, the DWPS is confident that this will not turn out to be a complete mess or washout. We aren’t expecting every single outdoor dimension to report rain this month, nor do we expect winter dimensions to temporarily transition to a more warm-like climate either.

Still, it’s important to keep an eye and ear to any changes in weather forecasts. We’ve all seen how drastically the weather can change from one week to another and we want everyone to be ready for any dramatic changes. The DWPS is constantly staying vigilant and will issue out advisories for any type of weather that can be hazardous or life-threatening. This includes advisories for flooding, thunderstorms, and rarely- tornadoes. 

In short, expect more dimensions to transition towards rain showers, which can range from light to moderate rain, in the following weeks. Again, we aren’t expecting anything severe or hazardous, but be sure to bring an umbrella or poncho with you if you plan to travel across the dream world. For the latest forecast on any outdoor dimension, check the DWPS website or visit your nearest DWPS office for additional information and resources. 

PARTY DIMENSION HOSTS LOCAL “CAT BOY”

By: Porter

The Party Dimension is currently hosting a party for a local cat hybrid and regular newspaper contributor.

According to details, the party is only to those with an invitation, which means only a limited amount of invitations were even sent out. I managed to get an invitation myself and interviewed several of those at the party, including the birthday man himself.

“This party is amazing!” Nate told me, “I’m really glad to have had time to come and partake in it. After all, Epsilon is a very good friend of mine and I wouldn’t have missed it!”

“Wowie! I got an invitation! This is so exciting!” Figment exclaimed, “I love parties! I love friends!”

“Truly a marvelous get together, my, I’d say even splendid!” Telly said, “This is certainly more entertaining than what’s on TV these days! Good show!”

“Now now everyone, let’s not forget why we came here in the first place,” Almoral began, “Not only did we come here for the awesome music and delicious cake…but we came here to give our favorite cat person an incredible time! Hahaha and not to brag, but my present for him is the best, of course.”

“This was money well spent,” Dylan said, “I spent my own money to arrange this party for him. After all, it’s the least I could do after all of the things that he’s done for me. Ep has always made me really happy, so I hope I can always make him happy- especially on his birthday! He’s my precious, little ray of sunshine!”

“Thank you everyone for taking the time to come to my birthday party. I can’t say I’m quite surprised- considering this has been done to me every year- but having you all here means a lot to me. My own family may not visit me for my birthday, but you guys are definitely one hundred times better than them. I am quite happy to be here with you all,” Epsilon said in a short speech.

The Party Dimension is expected to be back to normal in a week. Those without invitations are asked to stay clear of the dimension until the event is cleared.

Q/A: Ask Epsilon

Dear Epsilon, how were you educated growing up?
By: Ed. Ukate

Hello Ed. One of the few things that my family provided for me growing up was an education. As we are an influential and wealthy family, I was taught at home over numerous years and managed to acquire some knowledge from external sources like books. Additionally, meeting Lucid was another source of my knowledge, as he helped me learn lots of new material I didn’t know before.

Dear Epsilon, what’s your opinion on lasers?
By: Lay Zah

Hello Lay. I hate them. Lasers are an enemy and I’m not even exaggerating.

Dear Epsilon, what is your favorite cat collar color?
By: Ko Lars

Hello Ko. My favorite cat collar color is black, but blue is also pretty good.

Dear Epsilon, do you dislike Almoral?
By: Nat Budd

Hello Nat. That seems to be a thing going around, however, it is false. I actually quite enjoy having Almoral around- for a few reasons- but I don’t dislike him. Both of us joke around a lot and he really enjoys the humor. While the two of us are opposite in nature, he considers me a friend just like I consider him one as well. Still, he is very loud.

Dear Epsilon, what is your favorite music genre?
By: Poppy Song

Hello Poppy. I enjoy listening to alternative music nowadays, but I still have a thing for classical and jazz music.

Dear Epsilon, what do you like about Dylan the most?
By: A. Speck

Hello A. One of the things I like the most about Dylan is his sense of humor and jokes. I’ll be honest, and I don’t mean to vent, but growing up, it was really tough always feeling like I was alone. When my family didn’t really pay attention to me, it was hard to smile. Meeting Dylan though, it almost felt weird to smile or laugh at all of the things he said or did. His humor and just having around really made life a little more worth living. And yes, he knows this.

Dear Epsilon, do you like watching anime?
By: Annie May

Hello Annie. I don’t mind watching anime series, but the mangas are typically much better than the TV adaptations. There’s just more content in the manga and anime series typically don’t capture this content and sometimes even cut it out entirely. Perhaps I’m biased since I like reading, but seriously, they’re better.

Dear Epsilon, can I touch your tail?
By: B. Hynd

Hello B. Absolutely not. That area is completely off-limits.

Dear Epsilon, what do you wish for the most for your birthday?
By: Kay K.

Hello Kay. To be honest, I’ve lived through 226 birthdays now and over the years, I’ve kind of stopped wishing for stuff on my birthday. While there are occasionally things I may want, there isn’t really something I’m in need of owning. I appreciate whatever my friends get me, and I know Dylan always has a surprise for me in the end. If I had to make a wish, I’d use it on Lucid. I would wish for my best friend’s life to get better. He deserves it more than I do.

Upcoming Events:

Now- Birthday Party: Congratulations, you’ve been invited to Epsilon’s party!

Now- Neighborhood dimension returns: And there it goes, again…

Now- Rainy Days: Rain is being reported in some dimensions in the dream world. You better bring an umbrella if you’re stopping by!

May 12- More rain: More dimensions will get the rain treatment in the coming weeks, but it doesn’t look to be anything severe.

May 18- New party: With all of this rain, do you think we can still throw a party?