THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, June 9, 2022
Edition 41
ELUSIVE DREAM DEMON SIGHTED ONCE AGAIN
By: Oswald
The DPF is receiving conflicting information about more sightings of Lucid in recent days, which has prompted officials to review those tips and confirm said sightings.
According to tips, Lucid has been spotted sporadically across the dream world, but just as he is spotted, he disappears entirely. Some eyewitnesses claim the dream demon may even actually be a ghost or even an illusion.
“It’s so weird,” a local penguin person tells me, “I could’ve sworn I saw Lucid, but as soon as I blinked, he was gone! Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.”
“It feels like I hallucinated the whole encounter,” a local clown says, “I was about to walk up to him and suddenly I get closer and it turned out it was a small tree or something. So weird!”
“What if he’s dead? What if what we’re seeing is just his ghost and that’s why he fades like nothing?” a local exorcist says.
“That’s preposterous! He’s not dead!” a local necromancer tells me, “If he was dead, I would’ve known! Lucid is not a ghost! He is a demon and a demon who wants to be left alone!”
The DPF is reviewing these tips and asking the public to continue turning in these reports.
“It seems like Lucid sightings spike every two months or so, which is predictable,” a DPF official tells me, “Unfortunately, what’s not predictable are the areas where Lucid is spotted. We don’t see a pattern or predictable route, so while we can say he’ll be sighted a lot more in two months, we just don’t know exactly where.”
“Hmph! Lucid should just turn himself in! We can’t have bad people roaming around the dream world all willy-nilly!” a local television person tells me.
The DPF expects reports of sightings to continue on for the next few weeks and ask everyone to stay away from Lucid. The bounty on Lucid remains the same as it was four months ago, when it was elevated, and there are no plans to raise it at this moment.
SUMMER VACATIONS ON THE RISE
By: Roman
With summer rolling into the dream world, the amount of people going on vacation is increasing.
Summer is known to be the most popular time for vacations in the dream world, and maybe people like to partake across certain dimensions to make the most of it. Such dimensions include the Beach, the Picnic, the Forest, the Island, the Pool, and more.
“I love going to the Beach for summer!” a local surfer tells me, “Gnarly waves…cool water…and gentle breeze…it rules!”
“I’m waiting for the Campfire dimension to come back,” a local spider person says, “It’s good for gathering around and making smores, but it's a good opportunity to tell scary ghost stories!”
“Nothing beats the Pool in my opinion,” a local plant person tells me, “The water here is clear and fine, all while the sun shines down. It’s incredible.”
According to a recent poll conducted by the Tribune, about 54 percent of those surveyed say that they would prefer to take a vacation to the Beach, while another 22 percent say they’d go to the Camping dimension, and 24 percent say they’d go elsewhere. It’s clear that the Beach is the most popular destination for vacation in the summer, but it’s not all sunshine and games.
“The Beach is pretty good as a vacation spot, but we remind everyone to be wary of possible changing weather conditions,” Cirrus explains, “We aren’t forecasting any tropical cyclones this month, but afternoon thunderstorms are possible and it’s not safe to be in or near water when lightning strikes! If you hear thunder roar, it’s best to go indoors.”
The DDCP is reminding everyone to stay hydrated and cool. Heat related illnesses are reported every year, and they urge everyone to be safe.
“Stay hydrated as much as you can and stay cool. Get in a building with A/C or under the shade of a tree. It’s hot out there, but we don’t want anyone getting ill from the heat!” a DDCP spokesperson tells me.
Those wishing to go on vacation this summer are suggested to plan ahead by having a checklist of items to bring along. Be sure to also check with the DPF for any potential problems and the DWPS for weather conditions in a certain area.
Q/A: Ask Lucid
Dear Lucid, what else can all dream demons do?
By: D. Mann
Hello D. Since ancient times, dream demons have been able to enter the minds of others to manipulate dreams, hence our name. Such behavior has been attributed with a negative portrayal of our kind, especially among humans in the real world. Dream demons are only able to enter the mind of a person when they are asleep and exit when the person wakes up. There are notorious cases of dream demons causing humans to have nightmares and sleepless nights. I myself have done it once, but did not cause any havoc to said person, and no, it was not a human. And of course, dream demons cannot do it to each other, because we do not experience sleep.
Dear Lucid, what’s the dream world’s currency?
By: Moe Ni
Greetings Moe, that depends on the dimension. It is true that the dream world uses human currency, but the type of currency varies when you go. You will use yen in the Laundromat dimension, American dollars at the Establishment, Canadian dollars in the Cafe, etc. However, the dream world has a universal currency if you are unable to use human currency. Known as the morph, named after the ancient God of dreams, Morpheus, the value of this coin is not disputed and will be used anywhere, however, it is best to convert it at a bank as you may end up paying more with morphs than just using human currency where it is mainly accepted.
Dear Lucid, do similar universes exist like this one?
By: Al Turnit
Hello Al. Yes, of course similar universes exist like this one. There are an infinite number of alternate universes that coexist in the same plane, but do not normally cross paths with another. If one universe were to collide with another, there would be devastating consequences, but not to worry. If such an event were going to happen, there would be warning signs ahead of it. That being said, there is a universe out there where I was never put on trial…I envy that Lucid.
Dear Lucid, what is 89,541 divided by 23?
By: Kal Q. Laytor
Hello Kal. The answer is 3,893.086956521739. You should know that these types of problems cannot stump me and my clever mind.
Dear Lucid, how many lost dimensions do you know the locations of?
By: X. Plor
Greetings X. I know the location of almost all of the dimensions that have become lost in the dream world over time. Do I visit any of them? I may visit a few to see how things are going, but I do not necessarily call any of them home. I will say that I hope these dimensions stay lost, because the people who remain living here live in peace and harmony. It is best we do not disturb them and let them live on in tranquil eternity.
Dear Lucid, do you enjoy playing cards?
By: Ace C.
Greetings Ace. I do enjoy playing cards, especially to pass the time. If only people knew how mathematical and strategic card games really were…though, I suppose if people knew the trick to it, then the games associated with them would be short and not amusing…
Dear Lucid, have you ever spoken with the Council before your current situation?
By: Mee Tin
Hello Mee, we do not talk about the Council…no, no no…
Dear Lucid, why don’t you become immortal?
By: Eva Long
Hello Eva. I will be honest with you, immortality is a punishment worse than death itself. As much as it is desired and sought after by some, it is not worth the prices that come with it. You may live on forever, but you are bound to watch those around you come and go. I am over five thousand years old, mortal, but I have been a witness to the loss of friends along the way who did not live long enough like I am. Immortality itself is not easy to gain anyway, and it is truly not worth the disadvantages that come with it. I miss many of my old friends, but I too will someday fade away into nothingness like they did.
Upcoming Events:
Now- Reliable Records reopens: Your place for vinyls and records…now remodeled and open!
Now- Lucid’s back: The most wanted man in the dream world has returned…
June 16- Campfire dimension returns: Gather around and let’s tell some spooky stories and make some s’mores. Don’t worry, I also brought along a guitar to sing songs!
June 23- Summer Party 2022: This party is expected to be hot- because it’s summer, duh.