THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, June 2, 2022

Edition 40

SUMMER BEGINS IN THE DREAM WORLD, LOOKS TO BE AVERAGE

By: Porter

As the dream world heads into a new month, June is the beginning of summertime, and it’s already being felt across multiple dimensions.

A few outdoor dimensions have been slowly warming up over the last few weeks- a sign that summer is arriving- and now, more dimensions are reporting warmer temperatures. Despite the increase in temperatures, this is not cause for alarm, as it is completely normal.

“Increasing temperatures just before or during the summer season in the dream world is not unusual because it happens every year,” Cirrus tells me, “In the spring, it gets warmer, and in the summer, it gets much warmer. It’s what we would call ‘hot.’ However, it gets quite humid in the summer unlike in the spring.”

Apart from an increase in humidity, summer also brings scattered and isolated afternoon thunderstorms, less of a threat for tornadoes, and a chance for tropical cyclonic activity.

“Yes, summer has always seen at least one or two tropical cyclones on average, and they typically affect coastal and sea dimensions like the Beach or Port dimensions, as examples,” Cirrus explains, “Other outdoor dimensions do not see this type of phenomenon, so don’t worry.”

While summer can be a treat for many looking to vacation, it also brings about the heat related dangers too.

“Heat exhaustion and heat related strokes can be common in the summer so it’s important for everyone to stay cool,” Cirrus explains, “Keep an eye on the temperature, as hot temperatures can be hazardous to life.”

Overall, summer will be hot as usual, with nothing abnormal in the forecast.

“Let’s just hope that summer will be smooth like spring was. I have hope that it will!” Cirrus states.

For more information, please visit your nearest DWPS office or visit their website.

RELIABLE RECORDS TEMPORARILY CLOSES FOR REMODELING

By: Arial

Shoppers at the Mall were taken by surprise upon finding out that the popular music store, Reliable Records, was closed out of the blue. According to Mall officials, the store is undergoing some remodeling.

“It was a bit sudden, but this has been in the works for a few months now,” a mall official tells me, “All the blueprints and plans are down, so work has immediately begun once it was approved.”

When asked how long it would take, officials tell me that it would only take about a week.

“Like I said, workers immediately began to remodel the store, and this has been planned months ahead,” an official tells me, “This means that work should be done in a jiffy. Regular customers only have to wait a week for the store to reopen.”

A few mall goers who I spoke to say that they look forward to the remodeling. 

“Oh yes…it’s about time they remodeled the store,” a squid person tells me, “I’m excited for it!”

“I’m looking forward to it,” a local mushroom person says, “Do you think they’ll have more variety in their catalog?”

“I’m so excited! I love shopping here! So many cool music albums to choose from! It’s kind of sad that Lucid can’t shop here haha…it’s a long story…” a local necromancer tells me.

The store is expected to expand its catalog of music, which means that people will have more access to a larger variety of music to choose from. The store is known to sell music of all genres and periods, so this expansion is good news to music lovers all around.

“Vinyls may be a low seller in the real world, but the dream world loves them,” an official tells me, “Everywhere you go, you’re likely to see vinyls instead of CDs, but cassettes are also popular too.”

Reliable Records will reopen in one week to unveil its remodeling. Regular customers are asked to be patient and mall goers should expect construction around that area of the Mall.

Q/A: Ask Epsilon

Dear Epsilon, how are items like films from the real world available in the dream world?
By: Cau P.

Hello Cau. If you’ve been around the dream world, you’ve probably noticed that there are a lot of human related items across different stores and the like such as films, music albums, television shows, etc. Believe it or not, there is a special group that gathers such materials from the real world.

The DPF has a special operations unit that is specialised in “sneaking” into the real world and collecting “special human artefacts.” This unit is one of the few sources of travelling to and from the real world freely without a problem. Getting into this unit is tough though, as it requires its members to be able to successfully disguise themselves as humans in an effort to gather such materials. Perhaps the human next to you at your local electronics store buying a DVD could be someone from the dream world…

But back to the point. When members of this unit are tasked with getting such special materials, they will go into designated areas in the real world to retrieve them by buying them and then coming back into the dream world. Once back in the dream world, a special machine will mass-replicate the material and its contents to be distributed across the dream world like at Reliable Records or at the Video-store.

So what about copyright? It’s true that copyright exists in the dream world, but it doesn’t apply to real world material. Singers in the dream world have their own work’s rights reserved for them, but such copyright rules don’t apply to the human world. This means that human artists ranging from musical artists, actors, painters, etc. aren’t restricted from having their works replicated and distributed without their permission. This is the dream world after all, most human laws don’t apply here.

What about food and other items like that? Food can be easily grown down here without the need of going into the real world for it. In the event of a freak food shortage, the DPF will dispatch that unit to gather food, but don’t worry, said machine from earlier can also mass-replicate foods too. The machine is designed to only mass-replicate human world things, though.

If you’re ever in a store and see a human-related “artefact,” think about how someone risked going into the real world to get it, replicate it, and allow it to be accessed down here. They’ve been doing it for the last 200 years or so, and they’re very good at it.

Dear Epsilon, do you like being called a kitty?
By: K. T.

Hello K. I don’t really like being referred to as a kitty. It’s humiliating.

Dear Epsilon, do you brush your own tail?
By: Harry Combs

Hello Harry. I do brush my own tail, but I sometimes get Dylan’s assistance if I need to.

Dear Epsilon, just out of curiosity, have you spoken to Lucid recently…?
By: Almoral

I’m not gonna answer that.

Dear Epsilon, have you ever spoken to the Council before?
By: Fay T.

Hello Fay. No, I have never spoken to them because they’ve never summoned me to go visit them, and I’m not sure if I ever want them to decide my fate in certain situations.

Dear Epsilon, how are you going to spend your summer?
By: Sue Mar

Hello Sue. I’m going to spend my summer like any other year. Most times I’ll still be out jogging in the mornings (although, it’s starting to get hot in the mornings now…), making food at home, but I’ll also take the time to visit the Beach and other seaside dimensions with Dylan and friends. It can become quite lively inviting people along, but it is always a good time nonetheless. Summer is expected to be average this year, anyway, so I’m not too worried about it.

Upcoming Events:

Now- Beach returns: Beach is back for the summer! Let’s catch some waves!

June 9- Reliable Records reopens: Come back in a week to browse the music store’s catalog!

June 9- Lucid’s back: It’s almost time for Lucid to come back into the dream world. Do you think he’s going to the beach too?

June 16- Summer Party 2022 construction: The hottest party of the year is coming soon…