THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, July 7, 2022

Edition 45

REPORTS OF SPILT PAINT CAUSE CONFUSION  

By: Porter

The Dimension Protection Force has been receiving numerous tips about red paint being scattered across various dimensions in the dream world.

According to the tips, the red paint does not appear to be toxic upon touch, but the DPF is advising everyone to avoid interacting with any paint that has been spilt out of an abundance of caution in the meantime.

“At first, everyone kinda thought the red paint was…something else,” Nate of the DPF says, “But we got our forensics team to examine it and it turns out it was just regular red paint! I mean, I don’t blame them for using red paint either- it’s a good colour- but who just spills paint like this and doesn’t clean it up?!”

The paint itself does not appear to have anything out of the ordinary, but the DPF is going around to local stores asking about any potential recent purchases of red paint.

“So far, there doesn’t appear to be any shortages of red paint, which is a good thing,” Nate states, “However, there also doesn’t appear to be a rise in purchases of this product either. So that begs the questions: where did this paint come from then, who is scattering paint across the dream world, and why are they not cleaning it up?!”

Some are worried that this strange paint could be a result of yet another bizarre anomaly.

“They’re saying it’s just red paint, but can we be so sure about that?” a local store owner says, “After all, we’ve seen all the strange things this year. Who’s to say this isn’t another strange thing? I bet it’s Lucid…he’s always been up to no good!”

To reiterate, the paint does not appear to be anything out of the ordinary, but the DPF is relying on the public to submit reports wherever they encounter the paint. They also ask to not touch the paint, as it could tamper with any evidence on the scene.

PORTAL TO FAMED POOL OPENS UP, ONLY VIP ACCESS

By: Arial

As promised last week, a portal for the famed “hidden” Minimal pool dimension has been opened.

According to Figment of the Backrooms, permission was granted by both the DPF and the Council to open up such a portal that can take people directly there.

“Yep yep! It was nothing really! I really like opening portals! This one felt different because it was actually a dimension that was hard to find, so it kind of felt good getting it back on the map!” Figment says.

While the portal is unlocked, only certain people are allowed to go in.

“All of the portals in here require a special artifact to be able to go there outside of the viewing season,” Figment tells the Tribune, “Remember, artifacts hold the memories of a dimension, so it allows those who possess it the power to visit those dimensions that other people can’t!”

The room itself, tucked away in the Backrooms, has now opened up half of the portals in it. The other half is yet to be unlocked, but it’s not sure when.

“It’s hard to really know when these portals will be unlocked, and more importantly, it’s harder to know exactly which dimension it could be!” Figment says.

Of the various seasonal dimensions here, some include the Patch, Box, Minimal and Pole dimensions.

“To be fair, the Pole dimension is technically always open to the public, so it’s not necessarily ‘seasonal,’” Rainier, Secretary of Christmas Affairs tells me, “The public just needs to make an appointment if they wish to visit the Pole’s HQ. Otherwise…feel free to come on down if you hate the summer heat! Although, I’ve heard it’s not as hot out there? I’ll have to go see myself.”

The rest of the portals remain locked, but Figment believes they will slowly come to life as the months go by.

“I’m really curious to see what the November portal is going to be. I thought it was going to be the Dinner dimension, but alas! The excitement is killing me!” Figment says.

Those with the Sun Artifact are allowed to visit the Minimal dimension at any time now.

Q/A: Ask Epsilon

Dear Epsilon, how were you able to collect secret intel while in the DPF?
By: Quincy Free

Hello Quincy. I often get asked about my old days in the DPF as an intelligence officer, but I don’t think I fully explained the “meat” of the job.

As you know, intelligence officers are sent out in the field to gather intelligence that could hinder the peace and tranquillity of the dream world. We’re often eavesdropping and secretly taking notes of any potential wrongdoing. We then send that information back to HQ.

One of the things intelligence officers like me would also do is pick up secret messages and then pass it on to HQ. These secret messages often contained top-secret intel and information, but some agents are more capable of receiving these messages than others.

In situations like these, I was sent out at a specific time and at a specific place, and was told to wait for the “signal” from an informant. The informant would then send out the message over a frequency in morse code. There are two ways that agents can collect this information. The first way is a bit outdated, but the frequency was sent over radio waves and you would have to tune in on a radio to receive it. Then, you’d have to decipher that message from morse code and into a legible language. 

The second way does not involve a radio, but rather your own hearing. As a cat hybrid, my ears are able to pick up sounds and frequencies that others may not. I would often pay close attention to the frequencies being sounded in my direction and then write down the morse code which would later be deciphered. Once deciphered, they were sent to HQ where it was passed along to those in higher ranks.

Not all of the messages would be legible once deciphered though. Sometimes, messages sent in morse code were then wrapped in another code to be deciphered. Sometimes it was a reversed message, sometimes the words were mixed around…you’d have to have had a good mind at cracking other codes if it ended up not being legible upon deciphering the morse code.

But as you know, those days are past me as a retired agent. I’ll say that it was always a lot of fun getting to crack codes while being sneaky at it. I guess my cat abilities really helped me at my job, while also helping to keep the dream world safe.

Dear Epsilon, are there any figures that are looked up to in the dream world?
By: G. Zuss

Hello G. Believe it or not, there are some notable figures that are seen as all mighty and powerful to some, and have their own followers who worship them.

Perhaps the biggest notable figure is Morpheus. Morpheus goes by many names, but as the God of dreams, he is seen as a very powerful figure. His name dates back to the very beginnings of the dream world, as it was his manifestation in this plane of existence that helped create the dream world. While quite the figure, it was said that Morpheus became quite exhausted with the creation of such an immense world, that he fell into a deep slumber. No one’s really sure where he is, perhaps in a long lost dimension, and if actually asleep, whether he is ever going to wake up again.

In a strange twist, I believe that even Lucid has followers himself. It sounds strange, but there are those who believe Lucid is the most powerful and knowledgeable figure to ever exist, and believe his unfair treatment was a move to suppress his power. I don’t know much else about this group as it’s quite secret- very secret in fact that I don’t even know the name of the belief or group itself. I also don’t know how you even get into such a group… As Lucid once said, “Perhaps it’s best that such a thing stays hidden, away from the world…”

Dear Epsilon, how has your summer been so far?
By: Vayka Shiun

Hello Vayka. My summer has been pretty fun so far, thank you for asking.

I spent some time with Dylan and a few friends at the Beach. There were activities we did like volleyball, surfing, and building sand castles. Otherwise, summer has been alright. The temperature itself isn’t as hot as other years, but that’s not something I’m going to argue against. I only wonder what else summer has in store for Dylan and me. He’s been talking about going on an adventure soon, but he doesn’t even know where to go. If you have any suggestions for us, please let me know and more importantly, let him know.

Upcoming Events:

Now- Neighborhood dimension returns: Do the people who live here ever leave their homes?

July 14- New character: Lucid believes that books are weapons of great knowledge, but for this little creature, it’s not just knowledge, but home as well…

July 21- Fractured Fairytales: Take a trip down the rabbit hole and meet the citizens of Wonderland- where the rhymes and fairy tales aren’t exactly what you remember them to be!

July 28- Anniversary Party 2022: The game’s turning one year old- are you ready?