THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, August 4, 2022

Edition 49

AUGUST LOOKING TO BE A QUIET MONTH

By: Arial

Nostalgists have put forth their predictions for August, and it’s looking to be relatively quiet.

According to the predictions put out, nothing out of the ordinary should be happening this month, and seasonal dimensions look to be nowhere in sight- at least for now.

“August is notoriously known for being very dull,” one nostalgist states, “There just isn't anything worthwhile for humans to manifest in the dream world during August. We won’t get notable seasonal dimensions to drop until at least September.”

Some dream world citizens are taking this quiet period to enjoy their last full month of summer by partaking in different activities.

“I’m going back to the Beach,” a local eyeball creature says, “The DPF has reopened it following that nasty storm, so it should be safe to go and have a good time now.”

“I think this is the last month that the Pool will be enjoyable before the weather starts getting less hot,” a local monster tells me, “The Pool has been hot all summer long, but the water really refreshes and keeps you cool.”

“Everyone’s talking about summer, but I can’t relate! I work as a cashier at Bunkin’ Bagels in the Establishment- it’s always winter there! Ah, but it does beat being in the heat…” Sesame, who works in the Establishment tells me.

Nostalgists say that autumnal seasonal dimensions won’t be in the radar until the end of August when they can safely make those predictions.

“Traditionally, those dimensions aren’t in our predictions until the last week of August. It’s early to talk about autumn anyway, so since this is the last month of summer, get out there and enjoy it. Pumpkin spice season is almost here, but it’s still lemonade season, so make the best of it,” another nostalgist says.

To our readers out there, enjoy this last month of summer! Stay cool and hydrated too, of course.

DPF RESCUE OPERATIONS TEAM TO CONDUCT TRAINING

By: Oswald

The Dimension Protection Force’s rescue operations team is expected to conduct their annual training sessions beginning this week.

According to the DPF’s rescue ops team website, training is expected to begin this Saturday and will go on for the rest of the month. The training itself involves simulations of possible scenarios that are rigorous and intense, but it differs from the rookie training needed to get into the DPF itself.

The rescue operations team is an occupation within the DPF, similar to field intelligence officers and detectives. Their job is to respond to situations where people are in need of rescuing, whether it be due to a burning house, trapped under rubble, or assistance following a natural disaster. The team is headed by Finnegan R. Vulpes- a highly trained and experienced agent who has been leading the rescue operations team for around thirty years now.

“Oh yeah, we’re getting ready to have groups of our team to participate in annual rescue simulation training,” Finnegan says, “There’s a lot of things that can happen out there in the dream world, and we as the DPF’s response to go and rescue anyone in danger, should always be alert to any possible scenario.”

The simulations are done in an enclosed environment dome that is capable of producing any kind of environment and setting. Whether it be a rainforest, a bustling downtown, or a farm amid a large field, the dome is essential for simulating just about any kind of scenario where people need help and rescuing.

“Don’t worry, we don’t use real people in need of saving- that would be silly,” Finnegan says, “We have prop dummies set up around strategic locations for our team to locate, but don’t think it’ll be easy! We have the control to make things easier or harder, depending on what our observers are seeing from the groups. I often stay to watch and make comments, but as the day gets late, I’m often out of there and off with other errands to do, haha. Nothing wrong with that! Lots of us are pretty busy nowadays! But I admire the team that we have assembled and wouldn’t want to change anything about these hardworking individuals. Lots of sweat and tears pay off!”

Applying for the rescue operations team requires pre-applying for the DPF itself, and then applying for the rescue operations team.

“I wish you could just directly apply for the rescue ops team, but oh well, rules are rules! We’d be happy to have anyone come on board- the more the merrier, so they say!” Finnegan says.

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, how much more advanced is the dream world than the real world?
By: Pheu Chur

Hi Pheu! If there’s one thing about the dream world that is different from the real world is that we are a bit more advanced than they are! However, it depends on what field we’re talking about, because not everything at every level is necessarily advanced.

Let’s start off with medicine. As you may have already known, the dream world has lots of different kinds of medicines that humans in the real world just don’t have access to for various reasons. We have potions, elixirs, pills, syrups and other medicines that help for different things. Some of them help us look younger, some help us feel better from certain diseases, some even cure things that humans can’t! As for healthcare, we’re also pretty much more advanced than humans for it. It’s kind of rare for people to stay ill for a long period of time…thank goodness for dream world medicine!

What about technology? Well, in terms of technology, we’re not that far off from humans. Actually, lots of us in the dream world tend to prefer more “retro” technology over modern technology. We like using vinyls, analog clocks, analog televisions, and those antique radios, but there’s still people out there who like using flat-screen televisions, digital clocks, and modern stereos! We don’t necessarily have any “futuristic” machines, however, I guess some areas do, like the sorting machine in the DPDS, or the replication machine used to replicate human material like CDs and movies. Overall, we’re not necessarily more advanced in technology than humans, although we have the knowledge and power to become so. I guess people like feeling more retro than modern, you know?

And what about infrastructure? It’s about the same as the real world, but some can argue that it’s better than the real world. Our roads are fine and kept up to date in most spots across the dream world, we have telephone lines to reach some of the isolated areas, we have Wi-Fi and internet running in most areas now too. Our buildings are routinely inspected…hmm, but nothing necessarily “advanced”...we just often clean up and make sure things are running smoothly!

That being said, the dream world does have its wins over some parts in comparison to the real world, but ultimately, I can’t speak for humans because I’ve never been to the real world to see for myself! I’m just glad we have more creative freedoms down here that allow us to thrive and prosper. If you ever visit the real world, feel free to send little dream demon Nate a postcard!

Dear Nate, is Sylveran really that scary?
By: Terry F. Ying

Hi Terry! Sylveran is…an interesting character, but I’m not going to talk bad about him because, well…he’s not bad?

I get that at first glance you might think he’s evil and up to no good, but his appearance is really misleading. He’s actually a good person who goes out and tries to lock up everyone who’s been bad in the dream world. 

Do I get along with Sylveran? Eh…well, it’s hard to. Sylveran isn’t known to be fond of demons, as he believes angels and demons should not get along. Yes, he’s an angel, I know- hard to believe when looking at him. Still, he’s not a bad person, but I wish his bias against demons wasn’t in the way of us getting along.

Talking to him may be incredibly tough, as he is intimidating, but don’t let that scary look fool you. He’s a nice guy…just as long as you’re not wanted or a demon…

Dear Nate, where did you get your scarf?
By: Al Towell

Hi Al! Hehe, well if I told you the story, you probably won’t be shocked.

About 200 years ago, it was winter time and Lucid and I were on another mission. Now, I didn’t have a scarf or anything like that besides gloves, and I was usually pretty cold. At one point, Lucid offered me his scarf, and I didn’t want to but he ultimately put it on me- even though it was too big!

It wasn’t until a few days later when Lucid gave me a present for Christmas. It was a red scarf! Lucid told me that he didn’t want to see me shivering anymore and he took the time to knit me a scarf himself. Since then, I’ve always worn it and treasure it well. Lucid is really considerate, sweet, and an angel…oh uh! I mean a demon! No, I mean angel in a good way because he’s not literally an angel, um…does that make sense?? Oh, you know what I mean!

Upcoming Events:

Now- Beach reopens: Salt air…and the rust on your door…

August 11- Lucid’s back: News flash! Sightings of the most wanted man ever will go up!

August 11- Birthday Party: Yes, even robots celebrate their birthdays.

August 18- Summer Party archived: The Summer Party will get its spot in the Rewind Room for you to check out all over again!