THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, December 28, 2023
*** SPECIAL EDITION ***
Edition 122
JOY BROUGHT TO WORLD, DPF INVESTIGATES CHRISTMAS DAY INCIDENT
By: Porter
After what appeared to be a low enthusiastic Christmas, things got back to normal just before Christmas Eve.
Secretary of Christmas Affairs, Rainier, got things back to normal as things were looking bleak. According to information that’s been released by the Pole and DPF, an earworm was responsible for bringing the Christmas spirit back within people in time for the holiday.
Chief of the DDCP, Ophelia, authorised and oversaw the propagation of the earworm. The earworm was spread through an “infected” Christmas song that was aired on radio and television waves. It was tweaked so that only those with low Christmas spirit would develop it, and tweaked so that it would only last a week or so. The earworm has been monitored across the dream world and it appears that it is beginning to die down.
Rainier’s plan was declared a success and reversed the effects of low Christmas enthusiasm which was discovered to be originating from pizzas served during the Parlor’s ten year anniversary event. While the pizzas did not contain any form of pathogens, it appears they were tainted with some form of energy that drained the Christmas spirit out of those who ate it.
With Christmas saved, Santa’s journey across the dream world was also a success. However, while the Pole HQ was keeping track of Santa’s journey, Rainier had received an email from an unknown sender. The email contained suspicious files attached to them and it also contained a manifesto. Upon receiving this email, Rainier quickly sent it to the DPF for review.
The DPF received the email quickly and then transferred it over to the IAA branch. The IAA examined the email and determined that fugitive Francis Robert P. Jackson had sent this email to Rainier. While contents of the manifesto have not been published, the DPF says that Francis rambled about how those in the dream world should not have the opportunity to celebrate Christmas as it is a human made holiday reserved for those only in the real world.
The DPF has no further comments regarding this incident, nor have they said if they will reveal more of the contents of the email that Rainier received. However, it is very likely that the DPF will shift its focus on capturing Francis next year. As the mystery of who was causing the anomalies is over, it’s a matter now of finding Francis and arresting him.
2023 was a very long year for the dream world, but things may look on the brighter side next year! We appreciate and thank all of our readers for following along this year and look forward to having them read along in the next year. From me and everyone else in the Tribune, we wish you a very happy new year! See you in 2024!
WRAPPING UP AN UNCERTAIN 2023
By: Sir Timely
Hello there! I am Sir Timely! You may not hear from me a lot because I’m always keeping track of time in the dream world. It’s a very busy job that requires a lot of…time management skills, literally! Not only do I keep track of time, but I also keep a record of everything that’s happened in that time- past and present!
That being said, a lot of things happened this year! From a heat wave in the summer to ghosts in the dream world to dimensions going silly…what were my personal memorable moments of 2023? Let’s walk back in time, shall we?
#5: Cruel Summer
The summer of 2023 was quite hot! Last summer, it seems someone turned on the heater instead of the cooling system in the dream world! A large heat wave hit the dream world this past summer and we were all finding ourselves trying to find a cool place to try and beat the heat! While the heatwave persisted through June and part of July, things seemed to settle off by mid-July. Talk about a cruel summer!
#4: Runway glam
Lights…camera…fashion! In February, the Cafe was nice enough to host a fashion show for the public! In the Cafe’s book room, things were looking glamorous as people came in, dressed up and walked the walk! It was a big success that the Cafe hosted this same event again in September! Various themes were included, including one about time! The future theme was quite creative, but I look forward to a theme about the past!
#3: Ghost sightings
Towards the end of September, the dream world started seeing strange things…and by things I mean ghosts! Specter sightings were being reported towards the end of September going into October and people were more intrigued than spooked! Apparently, the wanted fugitive Francis was up to no good! He was resurrecting the spirits of the dead to try and form an army but unfortunately this did not succeed! Specters take no orders from anyone- not even humans!
#2: A leak in the box
I almost feel guilty for putting this at such a high ranking, but can you blame me? The Box dimension might have leaked, but the dream world was all topsy-turvy again! Things were looking quite silly out there, but in the midst of everything, a special team encountered someone strange in the Box dimension who escaped right when everyone was catching on to him! Still…the leak made things a little more fun, right? Just me? It was silly out there!
#1: A whole new world
Perhaps the biggest thing this year, in my opinion, was the reveal that there are other worlds out there besides the real world…kind of. You see, books started going missing in late June through July and we found out that they were being transported to another world…a world in a book! We discovered that the worlds in books are very much existent, but you need some form of portal to actually get in that world. It was such a fascinating revelation, but I hope the next world we find in a book is something nice…perhaps a world of heroes or fairy tales!
Things in 2023 got stranger, but let’s just hope that 2024 is less strange. Just know that I will be there keeping track of time and keeping history archived! May your 2024 be splendid and filled with lots of light! Happy new year!
Q/A: Ask Lucid
Dear Lucid, are dream world residents trapped in the real world scared of humans?
By: Terry Fyed
Hello Terry. Yes, many of those who come from the dream world and end up trapped in the real world are scared of humans for obvious reasons. Humans do not comprehend our world and much less the residents of our world. The shadows people see around dark corners, the unexplainable sightings caught on camera, the strange noises in houses…it is very fearful for humans. Many dream world residents seek refuge in abandoned buildings and areas that are not home to humans, but that leads to humans calling places “haunted” or “paranormal”. Besides actual phantoms causing “paranormal” activity, these places are likely home to dream world residents trying to escape humans in a safe place. I just wish they remain safe and get back home someday.
Dear Lucid, how many languages can you speak?
By: Diah Lekt
Greetings Diah. I am fluent in 85 human languages, and around 192 dream world dialects. Reading books over the years has helped me learn many languages to speak.
Dear Lucid, what is your favorite memory as a kid?
By: Wuz Little
Hello Wuz. My infancy and later years as a young dream demon just before reaching adolescence were marked with various events. I never liked being left out of groups because I still had not grown into my horns like the other kids. I spent my time alone, but it was always my mother who came to my comfort. She would comfort me and keep me company when no one else wanted to. I appreciate everything she did for me and all of the advice she gave me. I keep to her word to this day on different things. I cherish memories with her very much. I just wish she was still around to give me advice nowadays. I could use one more hug from her right about now.
Dear Lucid, is it true you withhold a lot of your power that you’re underestimated in strength?
By: Berry Strong
Hello Berry. You know, it is said that the more knowledge you have, the more power you have. Many have said that I am “the smartest person” in the dream world or perhaps the “biggest genius” of them all. I do not want to sit here and confirm that because who knows? In regards to power, I am capable of a lot of things. You may not have seen a fraction of what I am able to do, but I do not know why people might see me as “frightening.” They say I am able to cause large scale effects on the dream world, and if I wanted to, wipe out the dream world with the snap of a finger. That seems quite preposterous…or does it?
Dear Lucid, what exactly is the “Veil” in the real world?
By: Cova Up
Greetings Cova. You may have heard about the “Veil” at some point in time but not know what it really is. It is a phenomenon that I have thoroughly researched in the times I visited the real world. The Veil is the phenomenon in which a majority of dream world residents in the real world do not appear as they actually are. Many times, they are disguised as something that the human mind can comprehend rather than what it cannot. A dream demon like me may appear like a regular human or a “chupacubra” may appear as a big dog. However, I am not sure why some humans are not affected by the Veil’s properties. That is still something I am trying to research. I can say that when in the proximity of a dream world creature in the real world, video cameras will begin to malfunction and behave poorly, and this is certainly because of the Veil. This phenomenon is still trying to be explained, but I hope to find the answers for it soon enough.
Dear Lucid, what do you wish for in 2024?
By: Rez A. Lucion
Hello Rez. You might think this is a difficult question for me to answer, but frankly, there is one wish I have next year. I do not want to wish for my redemption, but rather, I wish that the dream world is safe next year. We are in the midst of a threat I did not envision three years ago. I would not have guessed that someone would be out there trying to disrupt dream world society. I care very much about the dream world and do not want to see it fall. It is difficult to say what may happen next year, but I hope things are not as bad as they were this year. Perhaps things will be easier next year, but I do not wish to jinx this. Whatever happens next year, I hope those I care about are happy and safe as well. Let this be my wish for the new year: safety for my friends and the dream world.
Upcoming Events:
Now- New Year’s Party 2023: Ever realize this celebration is just us throwing a party for the Earth completing another revolution around the Sun? We really are a ball of rock just out there in space…here’s to another lap around the Sun!
Now- ‘A Dystopian Nightmare’ rerun: This year we went into an actual nightmare to save the books of the dream world from being destroyed, but how about we do it again? No? Just me?
Now- Lucid’s birthday party: Our main man turns another year older and while we’re still not sure how much older exactly, he would like to speak to you about his thoughts about this year and the future to come…
January 2024- Winter Party 2024: Yeah, you kind of knew this was coming, but more importantly, will it really be another chaotic winter? Tune in next month!
Later in 2024- The search for Francis: This year we tried to find who was causing all of the anomalies and why. We got our answers and suspect, but he escaped. Next year, it’ll be an all out search to put a stop to him once and for all!