THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, January 4, 2024
Edition 123
REVELLERS RING IN 2024 AT THE SQUARE
By: Porter
Well it's official: 2024 has arrived!
Last Sunday, the dream world got together to witness the changing of the year on New Year's Eve. Some of those in the dream world decided to ring in the new year over in the Square dimension!
For those who don't know, the Square dimension is located just outside of the District dimension and is a dimension based off of the real world Times Square! There are actually two versions of this area: the Square dimension version and then another version of it in the New York neighbourhood of the America ward!
While both versions of it have new year's festivities, I was down covering this assignment in the Square dimension version. Many residents were seen with fancy hats, balloons, and other goodies as they were being distributed to the crowd. Throughout the evening, there were musical performances and other activities to keep the crowd lively- but it was cold!
Temperatures were cold on New Year's Eve for most of the dream world. According to the weather service, it was one of the coldest New Year's Eves on record. In the Square, many were bundled up for the cold, but still optimistic about the year ahead.
"I'm looking to start my own printing business next year!" said one reveller from the Ukrainian enclave.
"I want to start listening to other genres of music. There's something out there that'll definitely ring with me!" said a reveller from the Vietnamese enclave.
"Definitely looking forward to spending more time with my boyfriend! Love's gotta last, you know?" said a reveller from the Cuban enclave.
"Travel more? I've never been to the rural dream world…I wonder what it's like!" said another reveller from the Tanzanian enclave.
In 2023, it was revealed that a human by the name of Robert Francis P. Jackson was responsible for the dream world anomalies occurring since 2022. I asked revellers about what they think is going to happen in 2024 in regards to him.
"I really hope he's caught! He can't keep getting away with this…" one reveller from the Australian enclave told me.
"It's likely that the DPF is gonna catch him. The sooner they do, the better. Who knows what's gonna happen next!" said another reveller from the Indian enclave.
"If they find Francis, they better lock him up here in the dream world! I don't want him to go back to the real world so easily. Make him pay time for his crimes!" one reveller from the Mexican enclave told me.
As the hours went by, it was soon a minute to midnight. Everyone paid attention to the big screen which was counting down from sixty. When it reached fifteen seconds, confetti started raining down from buildings where people were throwing them into the air. Each piece of confetti contains a real wish from a person! They are left to scatter in the air as the clock hits midnight.
Once the clock hit midnight, it was 2024! "Happy New Year!" was displayed on the monitor and everyone celebrated the changing of the year, usually by a kiss.
Overall, New Year's Eve festivities went without any huge problems across the dream world. We are now in a new year! To all of our readers, happy 2024!
WEATHER SERVICE MONITORING POTENTIAL ACTIVE MONTH AHEAD
By: Oswald
With a new year in full swing, so is the winter season.
The Dimension Weather Prediction Service is preparing for a potentially busy month ahead. According to the agency, January is the month for the peak of the winter season, and their forecast remains for this winter to be “above-average” when compared to others.
During the last two winters, the dream world saw a winter with excessive snowfall and record low temperatures on a historical scale. A “freak” winter storm hitting in both 2022 and 2023 was very bizarre, but 2022 was the worst of the two. After an investigation last year, it was determined that both winter seasons were altered in an anomalous event by wanted fugitive Francis Robert P. Jackson.
Since Francis is still on the run, the DWPS has taken him as a factor into consideration for this year’s winter season forecast. So far, excessive snowfall has not been seen across the dream world, but there are signs of an abnormal season already.
“We still haven’t seen excessive snowfall rates as most snow observations have been steady,” Cirrus of the DWPS says, “However, temperatures have been colder than normal since at least the end of December. Many areas are below average in terms of temperatures with some areas below freezing or close to freezing.”
Cirrus says that we can expect to see more signs of winter later this month, but it’s still early to make a determination as to how this season will really play out.
“January is the peak month of the winter season so we’ll be in for a possible hectic month ahead should it end up like the past two winters,” she explains, “Temperatures are colder than normal, but precipitation holds steady- for now. We’re closely monitoring weather stations across the dream world to pick up any sort of anomalies as we did last year, but we also have the DPF on speed dial if something comes up.”
When asked about other factors contributing to the forecast, Cirrus says that while Francis is the biggest factor, the DWPS took into account real world weather patterns this year.
“We also get information from the real world and how weather patterns are affecting it,” she explains, “Such patterns can also affect our weather patterns for that season. We’ve been researching and monitoring weather discussions, forecasts, and data from the real world and have used those in our own winter season forecast.”
Cirrus says that the DWPS will closely monitor weather stations and notify the DPF of any abnormalities.
“Should anything come up, we’ll notify the DPF as soon as possible. As always, stay tuned to the DWPS for the latest forecasts! Winter might be intense, so it’s best to be up to date and prepared,” she says.
For the latest forecasts and information, visit the DWPS’ website or your local forecasting office for additional resources.
Q/A: Ask the main cast (New Year’s Edition)
In one word, can you describe 2023?
Nate: Workful
Figment: Crazy
Telly: Interesting
Cal: Successful
Almoral: Awesome
Porter: Great
Epsilon: Uncertain
Rainier: Jolly
Cirrus: Bright
Dylan: Long
Sylveran: Usual
M3-0W: Adventurous
Ophelia: Surprising
Finnegan: Incredible
Kodia: Peculiar
Eliazar: Slow
Francis: NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT
What’s one resolution of yours for 2024?
Nate: I want to try new spicy foods I've never had before!
Figment: Try to visit the rural dream world more!
Telly: Get more people introduced to channel surfing!
Cal: More pumpkins to sell to people!
Almoral: To find Lucid once and for all!
Porter: Looking for a great scoop to eclipse my other works!
Epsilon: Continuing to work out and exercise.
Rainier: I wanna keep spreading that Christmas spirit!
Cirrus: Go out and chase a tornado!
Dylan: Isn't it obvious? More adventures!!
Sylveran: Perhaps cut back on smoking.
M3-0W: I look forward to more investigations!
Ophelia: Visit new places I haven't been before.
Finnegan: I'd like to overcome my fear! I hope…
Kodia: I wanna teach a new ranger the ins and outs of the forest!
Eliazar: I want to get something over with. It's been long overdue, I think.
Francis: NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT
Lastly, do you think Francis will be caught this year?
Nate: It's hard to say, but with the right people, I think so!
Figment: Well, I'm gonna be optimistic and say yes!
Telly: Hmph, I'd love to say yes, but he keeps getting away. I'll say no for now.
Cal: Bah, that no good Francis is hard to catch! Gonna say heck no!
Almoral: YES he will be caught!! I have a good feeling about this year!!!
Porter: I think the anomalies will continue this year again, but maybe next year he'll be caught.
Epsilon: Probably not.
Rainier: I sure do hope so! He can't keep ruining Christmas!
Cirrus: I'm not sure… Most likely not, but who knows!
Dylan: Nope! That freak will keep getting away!!
Sylveran: I don't know. Everyone said Lucid would be caught and here we are.
M3-0W: Yes, I believe he will be caught!
Ophelia: The DPF's going all out this year. I'll say yes.
Finnegan: I'm going to say he will be trapped and caught this year!
Kodia: I don't think so, but he better not mess with the wilderness! Don't get funny ideas!
Eliazar: No. An evil genius like Francis may only get taken down by another genius, evil or not.
Francis: NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT
Upcoming Events:
Now- Holiday season continues: The rest of the world might be over the holidays, but the dream world isn’t just yet! One more week of lights and decorations before Rainier sends out workers to help clean up everything they put up. Don’t miss out!
January 11- Back to normal: Looks like the dream world goes mostly back to “normal” but let’s be honest here…is anything really normal in the dream world to us?
January 18- Winter Party 2024: Grab those jackets and sweaters, it looks like it’s going to be a cold dream world out there soon!
Later this year- Dominos cascading in a line: With Francis still on the loose, we’re not really sure what’s bound to happen this year. Let’s just hope things don’t escalate and we keep things on the bright side for now…