THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, February 16, 2023

Edition 77

DPF PREVENTS MAIL MIX UP AFTER FINDING STRANGE ANOMALY 

By: Oswald

The Dimension Protection Force ordered the temporary suspension of operations relating to the postal service's sorting machine earlier this week.

In an announcement made last Monday, the Dimension Postal Delivery Service stated that the DPF had ordered them to shut down their sorting machine- a machine that helps process and sort all postal material going in or out- after finding "irregularities" in the machine's system data.

The DPDS has been actively sending data of the machine to the DPF after it was requested that the agency do so. This request was sent out towards the end of last month and since then, agents have been closely monitoring the sorting machine's system data. It wasn't until Saturday evening that the DPF found an anomaly and then ordered the DPDS to halt operations on the machine the following day.

"If you've been closely following along for the last year, Agents Hallucinate and M3-0W were tasked with a major ongoing investigation into the strange happenings across the dream world," DPF Investigation unit Chief Daiki says, "They were given the data over the past few weeks and were actively monitoring it throughout the days. On Saturday evening, they alerted me of an anomaly they found and we swiftly took action with the appropriate steps."

Chief Daiki says that a similar sequence of code found in the DWPS' weather data appeared in the DPDS' sorting machine's system data.

"A familiar string sequence was found within the data that resembles the same sequence found in the weather data from last month," the chief says, "It has been deciphered from morse code and appears to spell the same letters of "S-E" over and over again." 

When asked about the code, Chief Daiki says it's still too early to understand what it means, but says this is connected to last month.

"We're still trying to figure out what "S-E" is, but because it also appeared in this set of data, it's definitely all connected. The winter storm…the sorting machine malfunction…I have a feeling all the other anomalies are if we read through the data of those events," the chief explains.

The sorting machine was suspended temporarily as DPF agents came to inspect it and verify any potential errors or glitches. After about a day, the DPDS was given an "ALL CLEAR" and the machine avoided any major malfunctions.

"If it wasn't for Hallucinate or M3-0W's eyes, the machine would've went haywire again, and Valentine's Day could've been a bust for those expecting things in the mail," Chief Daiki explains, "This investigation may be crawling, but their efforts are slowly paying off and I have hopes we're going to be connecting even more pieces of the puzzle soon."

Regarding the next steps, Chief Daiki states that they'll continue monitoring the machine, but their eyes will soon shift elsewhere.

"It looks like we might be living in a repeat of last year's shenanigans again," he says, "If so, we already have an idea of what could happen next. That being said, our eyes will shift over to the next potential anomaly, but it may be a while before anything happens. Just stay tuned for any information. I'm sure agent Hallucinate and agent M3-0W will be one step ahead."

The DPDS is currently operating normally and no delays have been reported with its postal system. For information on incoming or outgoing postal material, check on their website or visit your nearest postal service office.

FASHION SHOW ENDS, LIKELY TO  COME BACK AGAIN

By: Arial

The fashion show event that was held in the Cafe's upstairs book room has officially come to an end.

After seven days of looking through clothes, dressing up and walking down the runway, fashionistas have declared it to be a success.

With each day of the fashion show, there was a theme that participating had to follow and keep in mind. Ranging from pirate, to fantasy, to valentine's, participants managed to dress up in many different styles and stunned the audience.

"We saw lots of people come in and try out for the fashion show. They went in the back and skimmed through the clothes," Rouge, a fashionista who helped plan out the event says, "We got some good pirate styles, cottagecore styles, valentine styles, futuristic styles…oh, they were all so good!"

Rouge says that they and other organizers of the event didn't think it would be as big of a hit than they thought it would be.

"I mean whenever you plan something out of the blue, you gather friends and you all start working on it, but once the idea is in full motion, you might wonder if it'll even be worth it," Rouge says, "We thought this event might've been dry and not necessarily a bust, but it shattered all of our expectations!" 

When asked if the event will come back sometime soon, Rouge says there's a very, very high chance that it will.

"After seeing the success of this event, I think we'll be bringing it back again in the future," they tell me, "Not an if, but a when situation, and when the event comes back, we'll definitely bring back some themes and add in new ones. Is there a theme you want to see in the future? Let us know!"

The fashion show organizers would like to thank everyone for participating and remind everyone to keep dressing up in style!

Q/A: Ask Lucid

Dear Lucid, how come we don't see you use your powers that much?

By: Po Weir

Greetings Po. There is a lot of talk about me being very powerful if you happen to ask around. I suppose that is true, but I am not really one to boast about things like that. I tend to not really use my powers to an extent because while they are easy for me to control, there just is not much reason for me to use them to a full extent. Perhaps I may summon an ice cream cone in the summer, teleport myself to another dimension, create a mirage to fool those chasing after me, make the lights flicker in a room and pop a light bulb, freeze time, or perhaps just use telekinesis to bring a book to me for leisure. With great power comes great responsibility, and I choose to be responsible with my own abilities and not let them get a hold of me.

Dear Lucid, if the dream world can dream, is there a dream world of the dream world?

By: Theo Rethic

Hello Theo. I assume you are using the logic that since humans are the reason the dream world exists because of their memories and dreams, then the same could apply to those in the dream world who also have memories and dreams. There are many theories and speculation of a world that exists as a sub plane of the dream world- a "dream world of the dream world" as you said. If that is the case, then it must be incredibly hard to get there. I have not heard of any stories of anyone successfully doing so, as people seem more interested in the real world. I do not think much of it because then it becomes an ongoing thought. A dream world of the dream world that has a dream world of a dream world of the dream world with another dream world of a dream world of a dream world of the dream world…it would go on and on. If they exist, what do you think people there are like? Maybe there is another Nate there who is just as sweet and kind as the Nate down here.

Dear Lucid, do you know Finn?

By: Fammy Leear

Greetings Fammy. Ah, I believe you are talking about leader Finnegan of the DPF rescue operations team. If so, then I have heard of him, but I do not personally know him. Nate has told me bits and pieces of Finnegan since the two of them are good friends and chat when they can- usually in the employee cafeteria. From what I know, Finnegan just recently became the leader of the team back in 1989. I understand the elevation to his position was not something that occurred naturally and caught him by surprise, but nonetheless, he has led the team for over 30 years. Nate tells me that Finnegan does know who I am since, you know, it is me we are talking about, and that Finnegan hopes to meet me someday. Besides that, the two of them seem to talk about personal issues and chat with each other. I do hope to meet Finnegan someday too as Nate has made him out to be quite the interesting figure.

Dear Lucid, have you preferred working alone?

By: Indee Pendant

Hello Indee. For much of my life, I have always preferred to be on my own for a lot of things, including work. Truth be told, this goes back to my early years when I was always excluded from hanging out with the other dream demons because my horns had not grown in yet like theirs did. So, I resorted to simply being on my own for many activities. Even when I got into the DPF, I worked alone and got things done by myself, but being alone was not doing well for my social skills. Director Ferekides of the DPF suggested that I needed a partner and his hopes were for me to open up and become more social with others. He assigned Nate as my partner because Nate was someone who was very open, social, and extroverted that contrasted to my very closed, antisocial and introverted personality. I am going to say that it definitely worked because it made me realize that having someone like Nate around me really helped me open up and become a better person. I still do think the director had other reasons for pairing me with Nate, but I can only speculate.

Dear Lucid, do you have to be with your soulmates?

By: Falinlo V.

Hello Falinlo. There can be discourse over whether you should or have to be with your soulmates to be happy, but that is not necessarily true though. It is true that being with your soulmates can increase happiness in your life, but sometimes people simply do not ever find their soulmates. You can still find love and be happy with someone who is not tied to you and live a life with them until the end. Some people simply prefer to find their soulmates and be with them, while others do not care. An additional factor would be if a person would want to be in a relationship with one person or more. Some are open to polyamorous relationships while others are not. You could potentially have more than one soulmate, but it is up to you if you wish to date one or all of them. Contrary to belief, polyamorous relationships do not make up a majority of relationships in the dream world and only make up around 35 percent. Still, you do not necessarily have to find and date your soulmates. For me? I have two soulmates. I suppose the universe decided I need two people to complete me. I am already with one of them, but the second one is yet to be found…

Dear Lucid, what do you know about Biz Mart?

By: Lemi Nomor

Greetings Lemi. Biz Mart? Oh, you mean the strange gas station convenience store located in the state of Minnesota in the United States of America in the real world? Yes, I have…I know about it. It is the easiest point of access from the dream world to the real world with the store often being visited by dream world residents, usually visitors who come to smuggle snacks and the like from the real world back to the dream world. The cashier there seems to be used to seeing strange things and does not question much. Since it is the easiest way to get to the real world, I am glad…I mean surprised that Almoral has not been there yet. I suppose he either has not heard about it or wants to visit on his own with his own portal to the real world. The store itself sits on the biggest vortex in the real world which is actually made up of several sub vortices that connect to the dream world. You really do have to watch your step there as one wrong move and you could end up in another world. Hm? Have I been there? I have…been there a few times I suppose. Nothing too interesting to look at…the usual snacks, the drinks, the empty shelves…surrounded by forest all around and gets little visitors. Seems like a boring place for me to be or work at, do you not think so? Perhaps I will stop by soon and see what is going on. I will even say hello to the cashier and ask how things are going, but I know he is going to tell me that things have been "bizarre, but nothing unusual."

Upcoming Events:

Now- New room addition: Going up? The Cafe's upstairs book room is now open to all!

February 23- Archived events: November had room expansions while December brought the holidays. You can revisit them again if you'd like!

March 2- Spring time: As the snow and frost thaw, it leads to blooming flowers and warming temperatures. Why, it's spring of course!

March 2- Fractured Fairytales rerun: Looks like our friendly cat and rabbit duo will look after our baby goat once again, but this is just a rerun! If you missed out last time or miss it, it is coming back!