THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, February 9, 2023

Edition 76

FASHION SHOW BEGINS ALONGSIDE VALENTINE'S CELEBRATION 

By: Roman

The Cafe is looking busier than usual, all thanks to a fashion show taking place upstairs.

The upstairs book room in the Cafe is rarely used by the place itself, acting mostly as an overflow for the Cafe when more space is needed for customers or a quiet place for those working on projects, reading a book, or need some space alone to focus. 

A local group of fashionistas had previously asked the Cafe for permission to use the upstairs book room to host their fashion show event. The Cafe agreed and preparations went underway to get the event started, and at long last, it is finally here.

"We managed to get everything situated and ready within a week!" Rouge, one of the head organizers of the event tells me, "I didn't think we'd finish in time, but we just added the final touches yesterday. It looks so amazing!"

The fashion show has a theme for each day and Rouge says anyone can participate.

"Anyone can come take part in this event! Each day is a different theme, so you're bound to find at least one day worth dressing up," they say, "We got a pirate theme, a futuristic theme, and even a Valentine's theme!"

With Valentine's Day around the corner, the fashion show coincides with the holiday, and many dimensions have turned pink.

Some dimensions have been decorated for Valentine's Day with pink skies, pink floors, pink walls, and other decorations. 

"This holiday is so lovely…pun very much intended," a local angel says, "There is a lot of love in the air and people just seem nicer. It's a pleasant time!"

"It's okay," a local jester  tells me, "I mean it's not April Fool's Day amazing, but it's okay- really!" 

With Valentine's Day around the corner, the Dimension Disease Control and Protection agency advises caution for the annual Lovebug disease.

"Cases of Lovebug are most prevalent around this time of year," Ophelia, infectious disease expert at the DDCP and former NEAP-1 response coordinator says, "It's not a dangerous disease, but it can be a nuisance and honestly, sometimes embarrassing." 

Ophelia says that the best way to prevent Lovebug is by wearing long sleeved clothing.

"Because the disease is spread by an insect bite, your best bet is to wear long sleeved clothing, preferably with an extra layer or two," she says, "That's not too say it will one hundred percent protect you, but luckily, people who are infected are not contagious to others."

So whether you're visiting a pink dimension for Valentine's Day, avoiding Lovebug, or taking part in the fashion event, we here at the Subliminal Tribune wish everyone a very happy Valentine's Day!

DPF MONITORING MAIL SERVICE FOR POSSIBLE ANOMALIES

By: Oswald

The Dimension Protection Force has been closely monitoring the postal service in recent days, according to a statement put out by the DPF.

The DPF states that they have been monitoring activity at the DPDS since at least February 4. This is because of strange activity that occurred last year that could happen again this year.

If you recall correctly, the DPDS experienced an abnormal malfunction in its mail processing causing postal material to be mixed up and having customers receive the wrong mail in their mailboxes. It was concluded that the machine that processes the material was not malfunctioning, but perhaps an external force. The DPF has been closely monitoring data from the machine itself in recent days.

"Chief Daiki told M3-0W and I to ask the DPDS to share the data with us for our investigation," Agent Nate tells me, "Chief Kaige of the DPDS agreed and we're overlooking the incoming data. Nothing strange so far, but we're staying up to date with it!" 

Because the winter storm of last year repeated itself this year, there is a possibility that the DPDS could face another strange mail mix up this year. 

"We hope that once we detect a strange anomaly in the data, we can warn the DPDS in time before things go bonkers crazy!" Nate says, "I bet morphs to donuts that we can stop anything crazy before it happens! We don't want people getting the wrong mail again!" 

While no strange anomalies have been detected so far, Valentine's Day is coming up, which means that postal materials are expected to ramp up, and deliveries will increase. The DPDS sorting machine should be able to handle the increase in materials, but a glitch in the data could cause another mishap.

"If we manage to catch a strange anomaly in time, we can prevent another weird mishap at the DPDS," Nate tells me, "So, let's cross our fingers and hope for the best- Valentine's Day won't be ruined this time around!"

For information about any postal material you have sent or are receiving, you can visit the DPDS' website to track it or visit your nearest postal office for more resources.

Q/A: Ask the main cast (Valentine Edition)

What or who do you love the most?

Nate: Well…I can particularly say their name, but they know who they are…

Figment: All of my friends! They’re the ones who stop by and visit me the most!

Telly: Televisions are the grand standard for entertainment! They are extraordinary!

Cal: I love my pumpkins and I love my farm- stay away from my maze!

Almoral: Oh oh oh! Um…let’s see… I love skulls, I love the color green, I love Halloween…wow I love a lot of things, but I also love, love, LOVE, Lucid!

Porter: I love writing for the newspaper! I love this job! It’s been a dream really!

Epsilon: I love my menace of a boyfriend.

Rainier: Christmas! What did you think I was going to say? Halloween? You wish!

Cirrus: I really love my job here at the DWPS! It’s been so much fun doing what I love the most!

Dylan: Some people love carrots, others love tuna, but I LOVE my wonderful grumpy cat! He’s the best man alive!

Sylveran: There’s nothing like nights when it rains and you’re sitting by the fire with a glass in one hand just partaking in the ambience. I love that the most.

M3-0W: Love is a strange emotion and as a robot, I do not feel such…though by its definition, I suppose working at the DPF would be my answer!

Ophelia: What’s there not to love about my wonderful girl I’ve known for the last 500 years? She’s a star in my eyes.

Finnegan: Love? Hmm…that’s tricky. I’ll play it safe and say I love going around and talking to everyone on the team and making sure things are going fine! That’s…not to say that I don’t have my eyes elsewhere~

Upcoming Events:

Now- Fashion Show event: You got that James Dean, daydream, look in your eye…we never go out of style!

Now- Valentine's Party 2023: Dylan has lost yet another plush animal, but this time he has a backup. Go around the dream world, try to find it, and it'll be yours!

February 16- New room addition: The room where the Fashion Show is taking place is here to stay! The Cafe will have a new upstairs addition!

February 23- Archived events: It's been a while since events have been archived in the Rewind Room, but don't worry, they're coming!