THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, March 2, 2023

Edition 79

WEATHER SERVICE FORECASTS AVERAGE SPRING SEASON 

By: Roman

Spring has officially arrived in the dream world.

According to the Dimension Weather Prediction Service, spring arrived yesterday March 1, and the agency released their seasonal weather outlook as they normally do every three months. 

The outlook, which details how the weather for the season will shape out to be, states that spring will be "average" this year. According to the DWPS, they came to this forecast after analyzing previous spring seasons in the dream world and compiling all of the data in one generalized average forecast.

"All of the seasonal outlooks issued by the agency are done by looking at all the available recorded data from past seasons and doing the math to get an average," Cirrus of the DWPS says, "We essentially look at climatological data and make a forecast for the season based upon the data available."

Average spring seasons are categorized by a gradual warmth in temperatures, spotty rain showers, thunderstorms, and a slight chance of severe weather such as hail or tornadoes. Cirrus says that scattered showers are more common, but not frequent.

"We see more scattered showers across the dream world during spring, but it's not necessarily frequent," she tells me, "They come and go and really that's good for the vegetation in the spring. All plants need water so these spotty showers do them well!"

Severe weather can also occur in the spring, and every year, the dream world does see its fair shot of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes.

"Thunderstorms can occur in the spring, but there's a low chance of them becoming severe," Cirrus states, "When they do become severe, there's another small chance they can become tornadic in nature. We watch out for storms like these in the event that they get out of control."

Cirrus says the DWPS monitor weather conditions such as barometric pressure, humidity, and dew point to get a sense of how a particular day could play out in terms of thunderstorms.

"Every little factor makes a big difference into weather or not there will be thunderstorms in a specific dimension or area," she explains, "We take everything into consideration and issue statements depending on if there looks to be severe weather in the forecast for that particular day."

Besides rain and warmer temperatures, Cirrus says spring is a pretty relaxed season, but to never let your guard down.

"Spring is very lovely and pretty if you know where to go, but don't let the good weather fool you," she says, "Next thing you know, it might be raining over you, or thundering, or you may even have to rush indoors to shelter! Pay attention to the forecasts for any season. You just never know what could happen as the weather always changes!"

For the latest forecasts and additional information, you can visit the DWPS' website or visit your nearest forecasting office.

RECENT STUDY SUGGESTS LONG TERM EFFECTS OF NEAP-1

By: Oswald

A recent study that the Dimension Disease Control and Protection released shows that while NEAP-1 is long gone, there are long term effects associated with it.

The study, which looked at roughly one thousand previously infected individuals, shows that those who recovered from NEAP-1 still display some post-recovery effects that range from headaches to sudden bursts of anger.

The DDCP states that the study was conducted between December 1 and February 1- a two month study- and while more time is needed to see more conclusive results, it's clear that NEAP-1 has left some effects on recovered individuals.

"With the one thousand or so patients we monitored post-recovery, we found that around 62 percent experience moderate headaches that occur at random," Ophelia, lead infectious disease expert at the DDCP says, "One minute you're fine and the next you're feeling a sudden pain and throbbing in your head. I've heard that it's very bothersome."

The study also shows that around 38 percent of those recovered from NEAP-1 experience random and sudden bursts of anger.

"You could be having a good day and if one tiny, little, miniscule thing ticks you off, it might lead to a random burst of anger that you'll have to take out on something," Ophelia says, "Usually by yelling or screaming, but I've rarely seen things escalate or get violent." 

Factors the DDCP considered in the study include a previous history of anger related issues and frequent migraine-like effects. Patients with such history were excluded out, and the consensus with the remaining patients shows that there is an eerie relation of recovery of NEAP-1 and these particular symptoms.

"Few diseases can have long term effects even after a patient has recovered," Ophelia explains, "It can take a toll on someone if it gets severe, but as for NEAP-1, we won't know the true picture until perhaps after a year or so. There are some treatments in the meantime, but while no traces of the parasite have been found within these patients, some effects remain."

Ophelia states that the study continues nonetheless, but it will take time to truly know the extent of these effects.

"We'll keep an eye on these patients, but if you or someone you know recovered from NEAP-1 and happen to experience something abnormal, feel free to report it to the DDCP. We could sure use the public's assistance in this study," Ophelia tells me.

To read the full report of the study, you can visit the DDCP's website to view it.

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, can and how do you summon demons like Lucid for example?

By: Sue Manning

Hi Sue! Hmm, well, yes you can. As you know, I am a demon myself! Well, a dream demon, but still a demon nonetheless! Lucid is a dream demon as well, as you know, but summoning demons depends on the demon itself.

Some demons require certain conditions to be met for a successful summon. Most of these can be found in old scriptures that were written long ago by mysterious sorcerers and the like. I would say how to summon me, but, I can’t reveal that information due to DPF protocols, haha. You might know that some demons might require salt, special boards, maybe even a drop of blood for summoning. It really depends on who you’re dealing with. 

As for Lucid, well, I can’t say either! Actually, the scripture written for Lucid’s summoning appears to have been lost. Sure, there are theories of how to summon him, and there are also those who claim to know, but no one has been successful! Only Lucid himself knows how to, and I don’t think he would spill the beans on his conditions to summon. All I know is that many have tried to summon Lucid, but failed. I think there have been close attempts, but something is always missing. 

So to recap, yes, you can summon demons! However, it truly depends on the demon you’re dealing with. You’d probably want to look for demonic scriptures in the library if you’re looking for a specific demon, but you won’t find any DPF members in there, much less Lucid’s scripture. Keep in mind that some demons don’t like being disturbed, so...I would stay away from all that! 

Dear Nate, what are ghosts doing in the dream world?

By: G. Hunter 

Hi G! You know, ghosts are the most interesting things you might encounter in the dream world, at least in my opinion. I actually managed to learn about ghosts through the DPF, and even more through Lucid. 

Ghosts are the one type of entity that can travel freely to and from the real world. In fact, they originate from the real world in the first place. When humans pass away, it is known that their soul separates itself from the body. That soul actually then transcends into the dream world! Human souls, now what we call “ghosts,” can exist in the dream world, with similar logic to dimensions and stuff. But unlike dimensions, which require mass memory and recollection to manifest, ghosts can appear in the dream world, should at least one human in the real world remember them. Once no human can remember them, they do fade away, sadly. 

Believe it or not, we have ghosts from many, many years ago! In some way or form, there may be relatives who still honor their legacy in the real world, to the point where they still exist here in the dream world. If a human was quite well known, it is likely their soul will wander the dream world for many years to come. To think, you might encounter the ghost of Cleopatra, or even William Shakespeare is kind of cool! 

Ghosts can travel to and from the real world, like I said earlier. There are stories of humans encountering paranormal events in the real world, like ghosts. Well yes, they are very much real! However, it is not quite known what causes some ghosts to manifest more strongly in the real world than others. Some say it has to do with the amount of emotion they have; souls with a much more sadder emotion may not really manifest well compared to souls who are quite angry and violent. Humans have developed names for different types of ghosts, like poltergeist, banshee, shade, etc. 

Of course, ghosts have personalities based on their past life in the real world! Yes, some are quite angry, some are sad, some are good spirited, some are mischievous, and some are quite reserved. They appear transparent from everyone else and look pretty much human-like. However, some have enveloped the ability to change into different, much more grotesque forms, perhaps through some sort of dark magic put upon them- I’m not sure… 

Regardless, ghosts are usually passive. In fact, some catch them for fun! Of course, none can be kept or destroyed, so they are let go. Some enjoy having fun being caught, while others get annoyed. Should you encounter a ghost, you should always approach with caution and respect, because the last thing you want to do is to upset a ghost after their death! Ghost sightings typically spike during October, so who knows- you might be in for a ghostly treat when October swings by again!

Upcoming Events:

Now- Birthday Party: Little Willy officially turns 10! Double digits! Epsilon and Dylan remembered and went to throw him a party :-) (Pictured)

Now- Fractured Fairytales rerun: The nursery rhymes and fairy tales you grew up with aren't exactly what you remember them to be. Let's go back and see just how strange Wonderland got!

March 16- St. Patrick’s Party 2023: So what truly lies at the end of a rainbow? A pot of gold? Kittens? A shiny sword? Who knows!

March 23- April Fool's Party 2023 construction: Ah great, just when things were starting to feel normal, here comes…this, again.