THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, March 23, 2023
Edition 82
ANOTHER LEAK LEAVES STRANGE PUDDLES, MISSING ITEMS
By: Porter
In a developing story, various dimensions across the dream world are starting to see the early signs of a familiar problem.
The Dimension Protection Force announced that they are mobilising agents following a dramatic increase of reports to the agency about a various array of problems. They include glitches, missing items from dimensions, and familiar, glowing, purple puddles.
The dream world is no stranger to this type of incident, as it very well occurred just last year as well. The DPF says that unlike last year, when strange noises were being heard, this time there’s tremors, and they’ve been felt a lot more.
“Considering all the tremors lately, I have a feeling this is relating to those strange puddles and other shenanigans happening in the dream world,” Cirrus of the DWPS says, “I have gone ahead and transferred over our tremor data to the DPF’s investigation unit for handling. I’m sure they are bound to find something interesting!”
Besides the tremors, items are going missing once again this year from multiple dimensions, and it’s causing problems for many.
“Our coffee machine is gone!” Artisan of the Cafe tells me, “Without it, how are we going to make our orders now?”
“We lost the clock for the Game!” a local gamer says, “We can’t play it if we don’t know how much time we have to move around! This blows!”
“Well, we can’t eat our ramen in peace now,” a local Ramen goer tells me, “The stools mysteriously disappeared! We legitimately cannot eat like this.”
Besides missing items, some dimensions are also malfunctioning as if a computer virus has affected them. This incident also occurred across multiple dimensions last year.
“I came to the Gallery to view their main exhibit, but I got met with a computer-like error,” a local artist says, “You know the infamous ‘blue screen of death?’ It’s just like that!”
“The Station is giving an error,” a local traveller tells me, “Not really sure why though, considering no trains are coming. Weird, huh?”
“What’s up with the Mall? Their gumball machine sculpture is gone, but it’s all…blue? Like a computer virus?” a mall goer says, “I’m scared to use the elevator…what if it’s broken?”
In every dimension affected, there are glowing, purple puddles- typically around where a missing item may have disappeared. The DDCP is advising people to stay away and not come into contact with these puddles as they can be toxic.
“These puddles can cause skin irritation, runny nose, nausea, and confusion,” Ophelia at the DDCP tells me, “We don’t think they’re life threatening, but they are a nuisance. I’m sure we’ll have someone go and clean that up, but not until the source is resolved.”
The DPF is agreeing that for a second year in a row, the Box dimension is leaking into other dimensions of the dream world, and warns things are going to get stranger than ever.
“We’re about to be dealing with crazy, cuckoo stuff for a few weeks as we get mobilised and our agents are spread around the dream world to try and assess everything,” DPF Director Ferekides said in a statement, “I don’t mean to be funny, but this is going to be pretty bananas. Luckily we have agents already experienced in this type of problem!”
Director Ferekides alludes to DPF agents Nate and M3-0W who were tasked last year to venture into the Box dimension and retrieve all the missing items while cleaning up the mess along the way.
“Yeah, that was us! The leak was very strange, but we patched it up!” Nate tells me, “I’m sure a second time will be easy, but we’re hoping to get something significant out of this run…”
When asked about how long it would take, Nate says he’s getting ready, but some help is on the way.
“Besides M3-0W, Leader Finn of the rescue ops team is lending us a hand! I’m not sure why, but I guess he thinks this is a situation worthy of rescue! That is, rescuing the dream world!” Nate exclaims, “Once everything is settled, it will take us a while in there to clean everything up. The Box dimension is very, very long with many ‘sub’ dimensions before we even get to the main dimension. Hang in there, we got this!”
The DPF asks everyone to prepare for things to get weirder before they get less weird. In the meantime, they ask to avoid touching any puddles and to avoid dimensions being affected in any way by the leak.
RESCUE OPERATIONS TEAM POSTPONES GRAD CEREMONY
By: Oswald
In a leaked email that the Tribune obtained, the DPF’s rescue operations team is postponing its graduation ceremony in which recruits were officially going to be sworn into the team after six months of rigorous and important training.
According to the email, recent tremors and now the leak coming from the Box dimension is likely to hinder any celebration that was originally meant to take place on March 30. The email states that Leader Finnegan and head instructor, Eliazar, will likely not be able to attend the ceremony if emergencies arise relating to the Box dimension leak.
“After speaking with Eliazar, we have come to the unfortunate conclusion of having to postpone the upcoming graduation and swearing in ceremony scheduled for March 30,” Leader Finnegan says in the email, “Due to the recent tremors and the leak resulting from the Box dimension for a second year in a row, emergencies might occur in the dream world at a more frequent rate. These emergencies may arise during the ceremony, and we cannot afford to leave in a hurry during such a special time.”
The email continues to state that the ceremony will still happen, but it will only happen once the situation in the dream world is calm again.
“We are aware from Director Ferekides that this situation will only escalate before it cools down. The leak will cause a multiple week long event and we may not have our ceremony until mid to late April,” Leader Finnegan continues in the email, “For this, we are sincerely sorry and ask that you refer to your instructors for further information. I will relay more information as it is passed down to me. You are welcome to ask me questions directly, but I may not have answers. Thank you and stay tuned.”
Leader Finnegan is already sending help for the investigation team heading into the Box dimension to clean up the mess and look for clues, so it is possible a lack in higher ranking team members at the rescue operations team was also put into consideration for this postponement.
Whatever the reasons may be, we’ll be following this story along and bringing our readers the latest updates for the rescue operations team’s swearing in ceremony.
Q/A: Ask Nate
Dear Nate, what exactly is the Box dimension?
By: Wehr D.
Hello Wehr! Gee, you’re asking ME that… To be honest, not much is really known about the Box dimension! Let me explain!
The Box dimension is actually fairly new to the dream world. It was recently discovered within the last ten years or so, and information on it is not abundant. There are some things we know and don’t know about it. M3-0W and I ventured into it last year, and boy was it a LOT!
First, the Box dimension itself is hard to access. In order to get to it, you have to go through various “sub” dimensions first. These sub-dimensions are believed to be manually made by the Box dimension itself, but we’re not sure why. One theory is that the Box dimension is sentient and tries its best to not let people get to the main hub. There are many dangers in these sub-dimensions and it’s not safe to go alone! Another theory is that there are just natural areas that got warped into the main dimension itself. If you hadn’t caught on already, the Box dimension is literally very, very weird.
Second, it’s not known why there are boxes in the Box dimension. There are a LOT of boxes in the main hub and floating around it. Maybe there’s presents…maybe there’s fortune…maybe there’s misfortune… No one’s attempted to open any of the boxes in fear of causing a Pandorian effect in the dream world. Though, that being said, that leads to our next point…
Third, we’re not sure why this dimension has been leaking lately. Perhaps someone stumbled in again and opened a box. Perhaps that box caused a leak that is now spreading into the dream world. We really don’t know at this point, but we may get answers soon.
The Box dimension is weird, very! Things are going to get weird in the dream world because of it, but the more we venture in, the more we’ll learn from it…I hope!
Dear Nate, since you’re a dream demon, is it possible for you to be sealed away?
By: Cecil Edway
Hi Cecil! Oh boy, this question is very interesting. Well, being a dream demon, I do fall under the demon category, which means I am subject to many things that any normal demon could face. One of those things is a seal!
Sealing a demon prevents them from ever wandering around the dream world again, and keeps them locked up in their own little dimension that is separated from the dream world. It’s not a place you can visit though. Think of it like a jail cell; you’re cooped up in a room all by yourself with no access to the outside world, plus you are quite isolated from society! Sealed demons are inaccessible, and put into a slumber state. Kind of ironic since being a dream demon means I do not sleep!
It’s possible to seal me away, but why would you want to do that?! Sealing away a demon isn’t easy anyway. There’d have to be a special ritual to seal them away for good, but it takes time to gather the materials needed. The only thing is that all demons can be sealed away with common methods. This means that, unlike summoning, you can recite and perform the same sealing ritual with me as you could with another demon like Lucid, per se. But I don’t want that!
A demon can be unsealed simply by performing their summoning ritual. But again, every demon has their own conditions to summon them. I hope this answers your question, and please, do not seal me away...I wish to stay here, thank you very much!
Upcoming Events:
Now- Box Dimension leak: Why does this dimension keep leaking anyway? Didn’t we solve that problem last year and patch it up?
March 30- April Fool's Party 2023: Listen, we’re not saying we kind of want the dream world to get silly and crazy but…what’s a little silly ever done to anyone?!
March 30- Operation Box Dimension 2: They say sequels can be better than the first, but in this case, it’s stranger than the first. Join our friends as they venture into the Box dimension…
April 6- Beach dimension returns: It’s not summer yet, but it is spring after all. So why not have your spring break vacation here?