THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, March 16, 2023
Edition 81
NOSTALGISTS PREDICT LUCKIEST WEEK OF THE YEAR
By: Arial
Nostalgists in the dream world have predicted that this week will be the luckiest week of the entire year.
According to predictions, this particular week is when the dream world can get luckier than normal, in an attribution to the month.
"March tends to be the month that humans associate luck with. You know, people feel lucky, so that overall feeling transcends into the dream world," a nostalgist said.
In fact, several dimensions have turned green and yellow this week. Sightings of leprechauns have also been on the rise within the last week.
"What humans call 'St. Patrick's Day,' is turned into a lively green and spring-like festivity in the dream world,” the nostalgist tells me, “Considering it’s also spring in the dream world, you’ll see flowers bloom along with clover fields and rain showers that lead to rainbows.”
Sometimes, these rainbows may lead to gold.
“Humans like to think that at the end of a rainbow is a big pot of gold,” they continue, “There’s a chance you might find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow down here in the dream world. You just have to be lucky.”
Several residents have reported feeling luckier than normal this week- which would coincide with predictions made.
“I found ten morphs on the ground two days ago! It must be my lucky day!” a local lion person told me.
“The other day I went to order the ten piece nugget meal at the Drive-Thru, and after the long wait, I ended up getting eleven! What luck!” a local cat hybrid told me.
“I haven’t lost a single game of bingo yet!! It’s so weird because I’m usually pretty ba- I mean, unlucky with bingo, but now I’m winning! I guess that’s what happens when you have green hair like me~!” a local necromancer said.
When asked when the luck would die down, it’s predicted to go down after this week.
“After humans get their St. Patrick’s festivities out of the way, all that feeling of luck will begin to slowly wear off,” the nostalgist explained, “So I’d say…give it about five days…more or less. Trust me, you’ll know when the luck starts wearing off.”
To all of our readers, we wish you all the best of luck this week!
DPF REACHES OUT TO DWPS AFTER SLIGHT TREMORS
By: Porter
In a statement made last evening on Liminal, the Dimension Weather Prediction Service announced that they are currently monitoring a series of “slight tremors” that have been detected across the dream world.
According to the statement, some weather station sensors have picked up “very light to light shaking” but “nothing significant” as of yet. Dreamquakes are natural phenomena in the dream world, but this may be something different.
“We do monitor dreamquake activity, but these tremors are very light,” Cirrus of the DWPS says, “Dreamquakes are more noticeable and can be moderate to strong shaking. These tremors don’t appear to be a sign of a dreamquake.”
Cirrus says these tremors are mostly being felt in very remote areas of the dream world.
“These areas don’t receive a lot of foot traffic so they go unnoticed by the public,” she says, “However, some of them have been ever so slightly felt in more public areas.”
The Club dimension is one of the few public areas that has felt some shaking.
“I thought it was all the energy in here causing me to feel some shaking!” a local Club goer tells me, “But no, I stopped, and realised the ground below me was shaking a bit. It wasn’t anything to rock me off my feet, but wow! I felt something!”
Due to this, the Dimension Protection Force has reached out to the DWPS for additional information and data to get shared with them.
“I sent out a request for the DWPS to record and send whatever data they obtain from these tremors over to my unit,” DPF investigation unit Chief Daiki tells me, “I’m getting déjà vu from last year. Though, last year there were strange noises around this time. Now there are tremors. Strange, isn’t it?”
Chief Daiki says this information will be passed on to Nate and M3-0W who are on this investigation.
“Hallucinate and M3-0W have been paired up for a year now or so and have obtained many leads, but still no particular suspect- besides Lucid,” the chief tells me, “Perhaps these tremors…the source of them, per se, will lead us somewhere interesting.”
In the meantime, the DWPS is asking the public to report any tremors to their agency- no matter how light they feel.
“If you sincerely feel the ground shake below you, whether it be light or strong, please report it to the DWPS. It’ll help us get a sense and pinpoint where the most tremors are coming from,” Cirrus explains, “Where ever the majority of tremors are originating could be the source of whatever is causing them, or at least, close to the source.”
To report a tremor, you can visit the DWPS’ website or consult your nearest forecasting office to file a report.
Q/A: Ask the main cast
Do you have any lucky items that you own?
Nate: You'd think I say my scarf, but I think I'm going to say my ruby crystal earrings! They definitely bring me luck! I only take them off when I rest, but they remain on otherwise!
Figment: Maybe my hoodie? Or no! This box crate! Or this radio? I’m not sure…also, why is there even a radio here?!
Telly: The luckiest item I own is my bowtie! I have several of them, but the black bowtie has brought me the best entertainment!
Cal: My scarecrow is the luckiest thing I own. I haven’t seen a darn crow ever around my patch!
Almoral: Wow, where do I begin… Um, let’s see… oh! I have my staff! But that’s nothing…I also got my jade earrings! Cool right?! Annnddd oh I also have my super cool cape! I can’t decide! Maybe if Lucid was here, he’d help me pick!
Porter: My notepad for sure! I take it everywhere I go and it has brought me some very juicy and fun scoops! I don’t leave anywhere without it, because you never know! There could be breaking news at any given moment!
Epsilon: Honestly, my glasses. I literally can’t see without them.
Rainier: Is it okay to say my boots? These boots have walked through a lot and have yet to tear and get worn out! I’d say that’s pretty lucky!
Cirrus: This pen I own always comes in clutch! I can refill it with ink and it can help out with writing down calculations, data, observations, and much more!
Dylan: My super cool necklace! It’s the shape of a heart- gifted to me by the best man ever! I’ve had this like…ever! I’ll never lose it and that’s a promise to Epsilon!
Sylveran: See this gun I carry around? That’s your answer.
M3-0W: The backpack on my back has helped me out in all of my ventures in the dream world! I think that is the luckiest thing that I own!
Ophelia: My mask is definitely what brings me the best luck. Trust me, I’m better with it on.
Finnegan: These dog tags around my neck…I think they’re the luckiest items I own! I like wearing them, but sometimes I give them to Eli if he’s feeling down~ If they bring me luck, they’ll bring him luck too!
Upcoming Events:
Now- St. Patrick’s Party 2023: Somewhere over the rainbow…there may be a pot of gold waiting for you. If you jump in, maybe you'll be lucky!
Now- New area: The Sidewalk has been expanded so you can now venture further down the road. Just ignore Sylveran- he’s fine.
March 23- Puddles: Well, here we go again. Please, watch your step.
March 30- April Fool's Party 2023: Weird things are happening again soon, and yes, there will be whoopie cushions.