THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, April 6, 2023
Edition 84
PERSON OF INTEREST WANTED FOR ONGOING ANOMALIES
By: Porter
The Dimension Protection Force has made a major announcement regarding the ongoing investigation into the abnormal anomalies that have been occurring in the dream world within the past year or so.
Yesterday, they made the announcement on Liminal stating that a person of interest had been identified and is currently wanted on the suspected connection with the events that have caused several disruptions in dream world society.
Last week, a team went into the Box dimension to help clean up the mess it left behind and to retrieve all the missing dimension items. The team, consisting of DPF agents Nate, M3-0W, Eliazar, and dream world resident, Almoral, were not expecting to find other signs of life within the Box dimension. However, as they ventured in more, they soon started to pick up other signs of life besides them on their scanners.
“Yes, I brought along special scanners to detect signs of life other than us in the Box dimension,” Eliazar, head instructor of the DPF’s rescue operations team tells me, “As we traversed more in the Box dimension, it started picking up someone else in there besides our team.”
The team finds a strange man trapped in the Box dimension claiming he was lost and needed to get out of the Box dimension. While the team let the man accompany them, it soon became obvious that something was off.
“I had a strange feeling about the man when we first met him. The more he talked, however, the more obvious it became that something was definitely up,” Eliazar explains, “Part of our journey included traversing through a maze where the man was accompanying us. Unfortunately, we lost him in the maze once we reached the exit.”
The smoking gun came with a note the man dropped listing various items that have been associated with strange anomalies across the dream world. Exact details of the note are classified, but it has been added as evidence in the ongoing investigation.
Director Ferekides of the DPF held a press conference to discuss the details of the investigation and revealed they are looking for a “human male with orange hair, pale skin, noticeable face scar, black goggles, white lab coat, blue earrings, average build.” The director states that they have a name for the suspect.
“He goes by ‘Francis Robert P. Jackson’ and he is a human from the real world,” Director Ferekides said in the press conference, “From the information that we know, he is highly likely responsible for the anomalies that have been plaguing the dream world for over the last year. I cannot release much more details at this time, but we are asking the public to come forward if they have any tips or if they spot this individual.”
While someone of this magnitude for disrupting dream worldian society several times is highly wanted, the director fell short of calling him the most wanted individual in the dream world.
“This is a highly wanted suspect in the dream world right now- likely in the top 3 range. It is very imperative that the public keep an eye out and to report anyone that matches this description. We have released a sketch of the suspect as well, in hopes it can be easier for the public to identify him,” Director Ferekides said in the conference, “I want to thank the team that went into the Box dimension and found this crucial piece of the puzzle, but our work and their work is far from over. We will keep the public updated.”
Some dream world residents reacted to this news, though reactions are mixed.
“So after a whole year, we finally found the guy?!” a local angel tells me, “It felt like we’d never find the person involved for doing all of this!”
“I always knew that actual evidence was going to come out, but I didn’t expect it to take this long,” a local actor tells me.
“What…. So…you mean to tell me that even though we literally found the guy who’s doing everything, he’s still not the most wanted suspect ever?!” Almoral says to me, “Why is everyone so against Lucid! We just PROVED it wasn’t him!!!”
Regardless of public opinion, the DPF asks to submit any tips to their hotline and to report any individual with the matching description to said hotline or to a nearby officer. They also advise the public to not approach this individual whatsoever. The Tribune will keep readers up to date on the latest updates on this breaking story.
DREAM WORLD SLOWLY GOING BACK TO ‘NORMAL’
By: Roman
Following the patching of the Box dimension leak, the dream world is slowly beginning to get back on its feet.
The process has been slow, but several dimensions are slowly recovering from their weirdness, bugs, glitches, and errors. The missing dimension items are also slowly being returned to their right dimensions.
For the past two weeks or so, the dream world has slowly deteriorated into a mess of strange happenings, leaving puddles and other shenanigans in its wake. A team recently went into the Box dimension to help clear out the mess and patch it, and after successfully doing so, the effects of its weirdness are slowly subsiding.
“We’re seeing gradual improvements of dimension conditions across the dream world,” Chief Matías of the DPF’s patrol unit says, “Our field officers are going around assessing the situation, but there doesn’t seem to be any ‘permanent’ or ‘significant’ damage according to them.”
The Dimension Disease Control and Protection agency is also assessing much of the puddles left behind from the Box dimension, cleaning them up and taking samples for testing.
“There’s much we don’t know about these puddles, but taking some back for testing may end up with some new findings,” lead infectious disease expert at the DDCP, Ophelia, says, “So we still recommend the public to avoid these puddles as they’re toxic, though not contagious nor life threatening.”
With the new return of missing dimension items, some residents are pretty happy with the news.
“Our coffee machine is back!” Artisan of the Cafe exclaims, “Finally, I can start making orders once more and not have to deal with a really weird Cafe.”
“Very happy to see the clock back in the Game dimension!” a local gamer tells me, “Now this game is a little less confusing to understand! Huzzah!”
“I’m glad the swingset is back at the Playground,” a local child tells me, “I always liked playing on the swings, but it’s cool that it’s back!”
The DPF states that dimensions should be back to normal in a week.
“Yes indeed, dimensions should be back to normal in a week or so as everything subsides and the Box dimension slowly goes back to its original state,” Chief Matías explains, “Our patrol officers are out making sure things are on track to recovery, but honestly, we’re glad no one got hurt in this!”
A travel advisory is still out for a majority of the dream world, but should expire next week. Residents and travelers are asked to still use caution at this time. For any questions or information, you can visit the DPF’s website for more resources.
Q/A: Ask Epsilon
Dear Epsilon, where’s Nate?
By: Missy G.
Hello Missy. Nate is caught up this week on his investigation so he’s too busy to reply to questions. I am once again answering questions on his behalf while he gets that sorted.
Dear Epsilon, what are some known vortices in the real world?
By: W. Earl
Hello W. I’m sure you know what a vortex is, but for those who don’t, a vortex in the real world is a spiralling energy source that can allow humans to gain access to the dream world- usually by accident. In other words, they are portals to the dream world. All vortices have one type of specific energy: clockwise or counter-clockwise.
Vortices with clockwise energy have a “lifting” force that is considered as positive energy. These vortices are not means of access to the dream world. From what I’ve learned, these vortices have a gentle and peculiar aura to them that most humans use for spiritual or astronomical purposes. Some examples of this in the real world would be Stonehenge, Mount Fuji, and the Temple of Kukulcán.
Counter-clockwise energy vortices have a “sinking” force that is considered as negative energy. These vortices are the ones that can land humans into the dream world, but again it’s usually by accident. Humans often view these vortices as “paranormal”, “unexplainable”, or even “haunted” but they’re really portals to our world. Some examples of this in the real world would be the Bermuda Triangle, the Hoia forest, and the Sherman Ranch.
Now don’t get me wrong: there are millions of vortices in the real world. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance for a counter-clockwise vortex to make a human vanish. Counter-clockwise vortices that are too weak still have a minute chance to “capture” a human and send them to our world. It’s not known what activates a vortex to make humans vanish into thin air, but it’s speculated that it has to do with the right conditions. Essentially, being in the right place for the vortex, but at the wrong time.
Many humans who go missing in the real world with no explanation are a result of stumbling upon a negative energy vortex at the wrong time. In recent years, some vortices have weakened dramatically, like the Bermuda Triangle, so it’s possible some of the more prominent and infamous ones will too.
Vortices are a strange phenomenon in the real world that humans can’t explain, but hey, at least your local cat-boy is able to with no problem.
Dear Epsilon, can you explain the idea of immortality?
By: Nev R. Dine
Hello Nev. Immortality is not something that is difficult to understand, however, it is one of those topics that has its misconceptions if you don’t know the real definition of it.
Immortality is the ability to be able to live on forever, in simple terms, you will never die and have an endless life. There are entities and creatures in the dream world that are immortal and have lived for millennia after millennia and no matter what, are still alive to this day.
The biggest misconception of immortality is living a long life. Let’s get this straight: a grand majority of us in the dream world already live “long” lives, at least what is considered to be “long” by humans. While there is no real explanation to why we live longer, it’s theorized that time in the dream world has an effect on our bodies that causes it to “stretch” out our lifespans. Combine that with medicinal treatments, elixirs, potions, and a lot of us can live well over a hundred years old.
Just because you’re hundreds of years old doesn’t automatically mean you’re immortal. You can be 10,000 years old, but if you were to suffer an accident or some sort of fatal mistake, then you would die and that’s the end of that. Age does not equal immortality. If you were to suffer an accident or fatal event but do not end up dead, then you are immortal. No matter what happens to you, no matter how bad or brutal, you simply come back as if nothing happened. You are either born immortal or it is gifted to you.
The Council of the dream world is able to “gift” eternal life to anyone. In fact, all council members are given immortality if they do not have it already, for obvious governing reasons. Gaining eternal life from them is not at all easy though, and would require you to have done something incredibly worthy of their acknowledgement, and that’s rare. There are other ways in the dream world to achieve immortality, but they are either very risky, sketchy, or not worth your time.
Immortality can be a reward or a punishment depending on the person who has it. There are stories of those who live eternal, happy lives, as well as there are people who suffer with the idea of losing those around them while they continue to live on. Immortality is a strange power to hold…I think I will stick with being mortal and just try to live as long as I can.
Upcoming Events:
Now- April Fool’s Party continues: Just one more week of weirdness! But it’s too bad Francis got away so easily like that…
Now- Beach dimension returns: Beach time again, baby! Break out the towels and hold the sunscreen- the water’s just fine!
April 13- Easter event: Hop, hop, hop…that’s what a rabbit does best!
April 20- Rainy Days: So the saying is true about April showers it seems…