THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, April 13, 2023

Edition 85



RAIN SHOWERS TO BRING OUT DETECTIVES, OLD CARTOONISTS

By: Oswald


The Dimension Weather Prediction Service is forecasting widespread rain showers in the following weeks across the dream world.


With the spring season in full swing, rain showers tend to become more prominent, but most of the time, they are not severe in nature. Still, all rain showers have a probability to become thunderstorms and then those thunderstorms have a small chance to become severe.


“In recent weeks, we’ve actually seen a slight uptick in potential thunderstorm activity in our forecasts and models,” Cirrus of the DWPS says, “Even if those forecasts hold true, it won’t be widespread and any severe weather is still low.”


Cirrus explains that rain showers have a five percent chance of turning into a thunderstorm and once so, thunderstorms have a one percent chance of going severe.


“When we say ‘severe’ thunderstorm, we’re talking about a thunderstorm that is producing small to large hail, frequent lightning, and winds in excess of 90 kph,” she explains, “And even then, these severe thunderstorms could produce a tornado, but those probabilities are usually lower. It just depends on the conditions.”


Cirrus says that the DWPS doesn’t expect any widespread damaging storms.


“We’re not seeing any data to suggest widespread tornadic thunderstorms in the short term, but springtime is typically the time we see the most,” she says, “These types of storms will be sporadic, but pay attention to the DWPS for the latest updates. Weather can always change in an instant!”


When rain showers come to the dream world, many dimensions become grey and rain begins to fall for many days on end. Flooding is not a huge concern, as drainage systems are regularly checked and cleaned up. Still, the grey and gloomy weather can be a bummer to some.


“Not a big fan of rainy weather,” a local dragon person tells me, “It’s pretty boring and I just don’t like getting wet outside.”


“Where’s the sunshine?!” a local panda says, “I know the dream world is always dark, but rain sucks! I want to see sunshine!”


As rain showers are being forecast, a familiar group from last year is planning yet another year of old vintage vibes to the dream world.


“My friend Charlie is organizing the event this year,” Artisan of the Cafe explains, “He’s an old-timey kind of dream demon who sees the world in black and white. He did a good job helping out last year, so he organized the group from last year and they’re bringing the mystery and old cartoon vibes with them!”


Artisan explains that some indoor dimensions across the dream world will go black and white because of the rainy weather. He says that this type of weather brings forth detective-like vibes, but it also feels like an old cartoon.

“I think it’s cool that the dimensions go black and white! People can go out and roleplay as detectives, or maybe pretend they’re in an old black and white cartoon. We saw some interesting material in last year’s event…so who knows, this might gain more traction this year!”


Artisan admits that permits were required to be obtained before tampering with any dimension, but now that they were obtained, the ‘Monochrome Gang’- or so that’s what they call themselves, have slowly begun to paint dimensions black and white.


“We need permits before doing anything to any dimension,” Artisan tells me, “Now that we have them, we’re ready to get painting!”


The group is expected to finish in about a week, around the same time when the widespread rain showers are forecast to start.



RESCUE OPS TEAM GRADUATION CEREMONY RESUMES

By: Arial


The DPF’s rescue operations team’s planned graduation ceremony, which was scheduled for March 30, is officially underway once more.


Leader Finnegan announced this on Tuesday via a letter published on the rescue operations team’s website, as well as emails sent to the various students in the team’s recruit unit. The decision comes after the dream world has settled down following a leak from the Box dimension, and after head instructor Eliazar made it out of the Box dimension after being dispatched to accompany a team in there.


“I’m excited to announce that this year’s recruit unit students are officially getting sworn in to the team!” Leader Finnegan announced in the email, “After speaking with the instructors, including head instructor Eliazar, we have come to the conclusion that our graduation and swearing in ceremony will be held next Friday, April 21 at the rescue operation team’s gymnasium.”


According to the letter, all instructors of the recruit unit will be in attendance, as well as head instructor Eliazar and Leader Finnegan. Students are allowed to bring up to four people to witness their swearing in. The ceremony will call each student up one by one in alphabetical order, where they will recite an oath and receive their official team badge.


“This might look familiar to a school graduation,” Eliazar tells me, “The set up is kind of similar to it…well, it’s based on such an event. We want all of our future team members to feel special, you know?”


“It’s a very special day for those who trained so hard to get to this point!” Finnegan says, “It’s always a good feeling when I get to shake everyone’s hand as they get sworn in. In fact, I look forward to this every time!”


The next batch of students who have signed up for the DPF’s rescue operations team should start their training soon. According to Leader Finnegan, the next batch of classes begin May 1.


“We already have around 125 applicants who have been waiting for the day to begin their training,” Finnegan explains, “I’ll have the task to assign them to different instructors- usually at random- though, also depending if they have any prior experience elsewhere in the DPF. Those usually get assigned to Eli~”


When asked if there’s anything he would change in the next cycle of recruits, Leader Finnegan suggested some content material could be tweaked.


“As we know, the dream world has been quite strange lately,” he explains, “I may have to include new content for the instructors to consider since well, things can happen at random and you never know when the next anomaly will pop up. New recruits will have to take that into consideration!”


The graduation and swearing in ceremony will be held on March 30. Students are allowed to bring up to four people to witness their swearing in, but should advise their instructor ahead of time.



Q/A: Ask Lucid


Dear Lucid, which hand do you use to write?

By: Penny Cilhold


Hello Penny. I use both of my hands to write. The ability to use both of your hands to write is called being ambidextrous. 


Dear Lucid, how old do you think you’ll end up being?

By: Em Mortal


Greetings Em. I am not really sure, but my mother lived to be almost 8,000 and my father lived just after 9,000, so I can only assume I have another 3,000-4,000 years more to live. 


Dear Lucid, is it true that the human Egyptian pyramids were constructed with help of aliens?

By: Ally N


Greetings Ally. I was around when they were getting built and alive to witness the Pyramid dimension. However, I was not in the real world to physically see them getting built myself, but I have heard strange stories of extraterrestrials helping humans in the past. I cannot confirm or deny this theory, though. Using mathematics and other skills, it would appear that human construction of them on their own could have been possible, but I am not quite sure either


Dear Lucid, what’s 792,134 divided by 8,506 multiplied by 6?

By: Cal Qlator


Hello Cal. That would be 558.7589936515. I like that you made me multiply it by six.


Dear Lucid, what would happen if you got caught?

By:  Inma T. 


Hello Inma. Truth be told, I do not wish to be caught, because I was subjected to a very unfortunate and unfair punishment the first time. It was only because of six people that I managed to escape that punishment. It is risky for me to head out, but sometimes I have to.


Dear Lucid, let’s assume the dream world would get invaded by humans, what would happen?

By: Fran Zis


Greetings Fran Zis. Hmm, that is a rather strange question to ask. I have not given much thought to the idea of the dream world getting ‘invaded’ by humans from the real world. This is a hypothetical question, considering the fact that humans have not ‘invaded’ the dream world on a large scale. Humans have indeed made their way into the dream world by accident, but as a large group on a large scale? It has not happened. I am pretty sure if such a thing were to happen, there would be an immediate response by the DPF and the Council to try and put a halt to such an event. I am not allowed to say this information so freely, but there is indeed a secret plan in place if there is ever an event of that magnitude. Of course, it has never been activated, but it exists. And how do I know? Well, there is more to me than meets the eye… Actually, remember, I was in the DPF for several millennia, so you be the judge…


Upcoming Events:

Now- Easter event: Hop, hop, hop…that’s what a rabbit does best!

Now- ‘1930’ mini-quest: He would soon become an old memory. Thus was the price of curiosity.

April 20- Rain showers: So the saying is true about April showers it seems…

April 20- Noir Party 2023: April showers bring monochrome rooms, and it’s the perfect setting for a mystery film or perhaps an old timey cartoon!