THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, July 6, 2023

Edition 97

COUNCIL CONFIRMS OPHELIA AS NEXT CHIEF FOR THE DDCP

By: Porter

The Council of the dream world has officially voted to confirm Ophelia as the next chief for the Dimension Disease Control and Protection agency.

After a several hours long hearing last Tuesday, the Council swiftly moved to unanimously vote Ophelia as the next chief for the health agency. Her vote is historic for numerous reasons, but it also gave the dream world a reminder of how the leadership system works.

Her confirmation is the first one to be held in the twenty-first century. Prior to her, Leader Finnegan had his confirmation back in 1989. Since then, not much movement for leadership at the DPF had come until now. 

When nominees are tapped, the Council holds a hearing where the nominee is asked numerous questions to see if the nominee's integrity is enough for the Council to decide that they are capable of running an agency in the DPF. Ophelia was asked a wide array of questions ranging from her early days at the DPF, her time at the DDCP, investigations she was tapped to help out or lead as coordinator for various diseases, but the most time was spent on questions regarding the recent NEAP-1 outbreak. 

In probably the most significant moment, Ophelia was asked if NEAP-1 has been categorised as a biological weapon yet by the DDCP, and if she believes it is.

"NEAP-1 studies have shown that this parasite was not of natural origin. It was deliberately engineered and created to wreak havoc on the dream world population," she explained, "The DDCP does not like using terminology such as 'biological weapon' to describe diseases with origins like this, so the DDCP has not categorised it as such. However, yes, this was a biological weapon by definition standards."

Following a question-heavy hearing, the Council officially and unanimously voted for her to be the next chief of the DDCP. Prior to Ophelia, the last confirmation to be unanimous was for Chief Kamaria to the IAA in 1942. 

As for votes in the last century, Chief Daiki was confirmed 6-1, Chief Matías 5-2, Chief Vivienne 5-2, and Leader Finnegan 4-3, which is still the closest vote so far for any chief in history. 

Ophelia was then sworn in at the DPF's headquarters in the District dimension. She thanked the Council and DPF for her trust in leading the DDCP. 

"I want to thank the Council for the swift confirmation and their time to ask questions they had for me, and thank the DPF for the opportunities it has given me to lead up to this moment. I couldn't have done it without the help of so many fellow agents," she said. 

As for the health agency itself, she said she will continue to make progress and keep the public informed with as much information they need to know about any disease that should rise up. 

"There will be diseases that arise from the blue and could threaten the dream world. I want everyone to know that our agency will be swift and respond with urgency to combat any emerging illness that could be a threat. After all, that is our mission, and we won't ever abandon that mission," Ophelia said.

Other current chiefs expressed their content and congratulated her for her confirmation.

"I've worked with her before and know she will be excellent. I send my congratulations," DIA Chief Daiki said.

"Congratulations Ophelia! Once a member of the DPU, always a member!" DPU Chief Matías said.

"Sincere congratulations to Ophelia! I look forward to working with her across agencies," IAA Chief Kamaria said.

"Congrats Ophelia! Nice to see another girl come to lead an agency in the DPF! We got this!" DFCU Chief Vivienne said.

"Wow! Another audition to the gang! Big congrats to Ophelia on her confirmation! Yippie!"  ROTU Leader Finnegan said.

What are your thoughts on Ophelia's confirmation? We want to hear from our readers! Let us know what you think!

MORE BOOKS GO MISSING ACROSS DREAM WORLD

By: Roman

The Dimension Protection Force has received calls within the past week of more missing books.

The DPF has said that the amount of calls reporting books missing from various dimensions have skyrocketed within the last seven days. They are not sure what is causing books to mysteriously disappear, nor who could be responsible for it. 

Travelers passing by dimensions have reported books missing from shelves and other places. Most notably, the Cafe's upstairs book room has been completely wiped clear of its books, and no one's sure who took them or where they've gone.

"The Cafe has been busy these last two weeks because of the heat as we've seen a lot of customers come and go," Artisan of the Cafe says, "I really can't pinpoint a specific person who could've been acting suspicious as I've seen a lot of people come and go. Still, I'm not sure if anyone else saw anything weird." 

The DIA and DFCU have sent agents to investigate and look for forensic clues around the book room to see if any evidence can be found.

"Agents have been sent to the book room, as well as other dimensions with missing books reported, to interview any witnesses for clues," DIA Chief Daiki tells me, "Chief Vivienne has agreed to send some of her agents to look for forensic evidence around the scene of the crime. At this time, I cannot give further comments." 

With missing books being a priority of the DPF, they are also still focused on the rift portal that was reported last month. While no connection has been made yet, it's being reported that the DPF is considering linking the rift portal sighting last month to the missing books. 

Doing so would be significant because it would indicate that the missing books are potentially being sent into the rift portal to another world for whatever reason. While the rift portal has not been sighted again yet nor do we know the destination, the DPF has reportedly increased patrols and ramped up their ongoing investigation.

"I can't say much, but things looks murky," Agent Hallucinate, who is currently investigating the anomalies of the dream world with agent M3-0W, says to me, "We got a huge development last April and I have a funny feeling we know who's behind this…"

The DPF has issued a warning to residents to safeguard any books they may own as they could go missing next. Books in public dimensions are being asked to be stored away until further notice. 

"Books may continue to go missing, so if you have any at home, please keep them in a safe space until we give an all clear," a spokesperson for the DPF tells me.

If you have any information or tips about missing books or sighting of any unauthorized rift portal, please dial *1 or visit the DPF's tip hotline online.

Q/A: Ask Epsilon 

Dear Epsilon, can you explain the idea of immortality?

By: Nev R. Dine

Hello Nev. Immortality is not something that is difficult to understand, however, it is one of those topics that has its misconceptions if you don’t know the real definition of it. 

Immortality is the ability to be able to live on forever, in simple terms, you will never die and have an endless life. There are entities and creatures in the dream world that are immortal and have lived for millennia after millennia and no matter what, are still alive to this day. 

The biggest misconception of immortality is living a long life. Let’s get this straight: a grand majority of us in the dream world already live “long” lives, at least what is considered to be “long” by humans. While there is no real explanation to why we live longer, it’s theorised that time in the dream world has an effect on our bodies that causes it to “stretch” out our lifespans. Combine that with medicinal treatments, elixirs, potions, and a lot of us can live well over a hundred years old. 

Just because you’re hundreds of years old doesn’t automatically mean you’re immortal. You can be 10,000 years old, but if you were to suffer an accident or some sort of fatal mistake, then you would die and that’s the end of that. Age does not equal immortality. If you were to suffer an accident or fatal event but do not end up dead, then you are immortal. No matter what happens to you, no matter how bad or brutal, you simply come back as if nothing happened. You are either born immortal or it is gifted to you. 

The Council of the dream world is able to “gift” eternal life to anyone. In fact, all council members are given immortality if they do not have it already, for obvious governing reasons. Gaining eternal life from them is not at all easy though, and would require you to have done something incredibly worthy of their acknowledgement, and that’s rare. There are other ways in the dream world to achieve immortality, but they are either very risky, sketchy, or not worth your time.

Immortality can be a reward or a punishment depending on the person who has it. There are stories of those who live eternal, happy lives, as well as there are people who suffer with the idea of losing those around them while they continue to live on. Immortality is a strange power to hold…I think I will stick with being mortal and just try to live as long as I can. 

Dear Epsilon, does your eyesight ever get frustrating to deal with?

By: I. Ware

Hello I. Over the years, my eyesight has gotten poorer, and there are times where I struggle with certain activities. My glasses have to be adjusted, or changed every so often, to accommodate my declining vision. I’m just lucky I have Dylan around to help me with certain tasks when I can’t. 

Dear Epsilon, what’s your opinion on lasers?

By: Lay Zah

Hello Lay. I hate them. Lasers are an enemy and I’m not even exaggerating.

Dear Epsilon, do you brush your own tail?

By: Harry Combs 

Hello Harry. I do brush my own tail, but I sometimes get Dylan’s assistance if I need to.

Dear Epsilon, how were you educated growing up?

By: Ed. Ukate

Hello Ed. One of the few things that my family provided for me growing up was an education. As we are an influential and wealthy family, I was taught at home over numerous years and managed to acquire some knowledge from external sources like books. Additionally, meeting Lucid was another source of my knowledge, as he helped me learn lots of new material I didn’t know before.

Upcoming Events:

Now- Room tweaks: New store in the Mall, the Hallway gets expanded, Plaza opens up, Lab retouched, and more rooms tweaked! Check them out!

July 13- Fractured Fairytales rerun: Wonderland has always been a wacky world in another realm, so how about we go back to check it out?

July 20- Anniversary Party construction: Gotta get out the boxes from storage to prepare decorating for the game's second anniversary!

July 27- Anniversary Party 2023: Almost another year down! What can we expect from this year's party? Guess we'll have to find out soon enough!

July 27- A Dystopian Nightmare: You can't run and you definitely can't hide. Whether you're running from the firemen who start fires or the thinkpol who accuse you of thoughtcrime- no where's safe, and much less from the eyes of Big Brother.