THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, February 1, 2024
Edition 127
TEMPERATURES REMAIN COLD, STEADILY INCREASE
By: Oswald
After the coldest January we’ve seen in years, temperatures are still cold, but good news: they’re on the positive trend.
The weather service has been monitoring conditions and have acknowledged that things look to be returning back to “pre-January” levels. They point to various weather stations who recently observed historically low temperatures and are now just below or above freezing.
“From what we have seen, temperatures aren’t as cold as they were, say, one to two weeks ago,” Neige, a senior meteorologist at the Dimension Weather Prediction Service says, “Dimensions that were historically below freezing are just around the freezing mark now. It is still cold, but less.”
Many have begun to dub this event as a “freeze wave,” “cold wave,” and some are even giving names to this event such as “The Big Freeze” or “The Big Chill” of 2024. The DWPS has not given any particular name to this event and hinted that they may not name it anything creative like the public is.
“We understand that such a grand event like this should be given a name, but similar to last June with the heat wave back then, we may just name it as something as simple as ‘2024 Cold Snap’ to keep it easy,” Neige says.
With temperatures slowly returning to normal, many organizations are beginning to resume normal operations. The Dimension Postal Delivery Service stated recently that they are beginning to resume normal operations after resorting to limited operations due to the weather. Likewise, the Dimension Power and Energy Company, also recently stated that they encountered minimal disruptions in power during the past month and will resume full operations.
“We’ll be getting things back to normal in February now that things are looking better,” DPDS chief Kaige says, “Just in time too as February sees a lot of postal material come in and out because of Valentine’s Day. What luck!”
“DPEC is happy to report that minimal disruptions occurred in January due to freezing weather conditions,” DPEC chief Lumière says, “Any outages that were encountered were dealt with swiftly. We’re quite content that no large blackouts occurred across the dream world!”
While dimensions will continue to see snow and ice in the coming weeks, temperatures will continue to increase and lead to more greenery as winter slowly transitions into spring.
“January is the peak of the winter season and February acts as the transition between winter and spring,” Neige says, “The first two weeks of February are typically cold, but temperatures across the dream world generally start to get less cold and more temperature in the last two weeks or so. By the end of February, it pretty much almost feels entirely like spring.”
Neige says things look to be on schedule for spring to arrive accordingly, but conditions will still feel like winter in the short term.
“Everything is slowly set for winter to end normally as other years, albeit we just had the coldest one in recent years,” he tells me, “So hang in there for now. We promise it’ll get better.”
To view the latest weather conditions for your area, please visit the DWPS’ website for the most up-to-date forecasts, as well as have access to other information and resources.
HOLE IN THE WALL BEGINS TO GET PATCHED, SOME RESIDENTS QUESTION SECURITY
By: Porter
The DPF has announced that their investigation of the mysterious hole that was carved into the District’s protective wall in the Arctic ward is still ongoing, but the hole itself has begun to be patched.
In a recent press conference, DIA chief Daiki stated that a temporary cover was placed over the hole to prevent any more cold air from escaping into the rural dream world while a team of detectives and investigators from the DFCU examined the site. While they got all the evidence they needed, the investigation itself is still ongoing, but the hole itself is now in the process of getting patched over.
“All the evidence and clues that we need have now been obtained,” the DIA chief said, “The area itself is still blocked off to unauthorised personnel as construction crews work to patch up the hole. There are estimates that the hole will take approximately one to two weeks to patch, but we do not anticipate any further dilemmas stemming from this.”
The DIA chief also stated that unlike other investigations in his branch that are normally handed over to detectives, the chief himself will personally take over this case.
“While all investigation cases are handed down to detectives within the DIA, I have decided that I will personally be taking and overlooking this case in particular. I have spoken to Chiefs Vivienne and Kamaria and thanked them for cooperating directly with me to pass over any information related to this case, and have let Director Ferekides know I am personally overlooking this case.”
When asked if he considered handing the case over to agents Hallucinate and M3-0W, who previously oversaw the ongoing investigation of what was causing dream world anomalies, the chief stated that would not be possible.
“As stated previously, this particular case has been closed as it was concluded that Francis Robert P. Jackson was the person behind these anomalies,” chief Daiki explained, “With that case closed, Director Ferekides had personally removed Hallucinate and M3-0W from the DIA. He has since reassigned M3-0W back to the DPU, but I believe Hallucinate has been reassigned to the IAA. That is all I know.”
While the hole is getting patched up, some residents have begun to question the wall’s effectiveness following this incident. The Magnus Murus was originally built as a protective barrier around the District many millennia ago. The wall is supposed to protect the dimension as it serves as the largest dimension in the dream world with a grand majority of the population living within it. Many important organisations also house their headquarters in this dimension, so a wall to protect these vital resources was also considered.
“I thought the wall was supposed to protect us from threats?” a local Russian enclave resident said, “How come Francis managed to get to it? What’s that all about?”
“A big, long protective wall and someone still found a way to carve a hole in it,” a local Norwegian enclave resident said, “It’s like the wall lost its meaning.”
“Personally, I wasn’t sure why a wall was even needed in the first place as we’ve gone several millennia without seeing any problems,” a local U.S. enclave resident said, “However, this recent incident opened my eyes. I guess there was a good reason after all.”
While there is no clear answer as to the wall’s origins in the first place, it is rumoured that the wall itself was built with the possibility of human settlement threatening the residents of the dream world. In such a case, residents of the dream world could, theoretically, quickly move to the District and remain barricaded inside a safe space should humans intend to take over the rural dream world. This rumour seemed absurd to many, but considering recent months, the wall may have purpose after all- but it is still penetrable.
Regardless, the patch is in the middle of being patched up. The DPF will continue to investigate this incident and the Council has stated that they will soon conduct a hearing to further discuss any possible resolutions regarding the wall’s security.
Q/A: Ask Nate
Dear Nate, can the dream world be mapped out?
By: Dee Rekshun
Hello Dee! As with any place, you'd expect there to be a map just in case you get lost. The dream world should be no exception, but… it's not that easy!
The dream world is a very big place, but much of it is empty of anything notable. There are few landmarks to base a map off of it, so it's always been a quite difficult task to even map the dream world in the first place! Even if maps exist for small areas, it's still only a fraction of the dream world as a whole!
Many cartographers have tried to map out the dream world piece by piece, bit by bit, but no one's come close to actually having a physical map available! It's one thing to say of where point A is in relative to point B, such as point A is northwest of point B, but even then, that's still a wide open space of nothingness around those points that make it hard to map.
Another thing to keep in mind is that dimensions also have a chance to become lost. As our own memories are tied to dimensions, if the dimension becomes lost, the maps become useless to tell us where it is. That's because the dimension fades from our own memory and location to somewhere far and away from any notable location. The dream world is also changing, so maps would have to be constantly changing too!
So, is there anywhere a map WOULD be useful? Well, yes! The District is really the only place that can be mapped with ease. Since it's an artificially created dimension, anything in it can be mapped. Granted, it would be a BIG map! I'd recommend getting maps of the District that focus on wards as you can easily zoom in and find certain enclaves with streets names, businesses, and other landmarks.
It's quite hard to map out the dream world as it's such a large place! Cartographers have always had a tough time to map it out. However, your best way to find a map would be to go to the District! There are maps of all the wards in the District for you to access and view. I can't imagine the life of a cartographer trying to map the rural dream world…how rough!
Dear Nate, what is there to do at the Mall?
By: Shaw Ping
Hello Shaw! So you've heard of the Mall? It's a great place to shop at! There may be malls in the District, but The Mall is pretty great!
The Mall itself is actually several stories tall. The Mall has a total of 22 floors from the bottom to the top. Each floor consists of different kinds of stores to explore ranging from clothing to electronics to restaurants, and more! The third floor of the Mall is actually the food court! It’s exclusively just for restaurants and food as you won’t find anything else here like clothing or electronic stores.
The Mall actually doesn’t have a uniform architecture. Each floor has a different layout and look than the one before or after it. Human memory really shapes the different floors of the Mall so each floor looks different, but because they all carry the same “feeling,” they are all grouped into floors at the Mall!
I will say that the further you go up in the Mall, the less people you’ll see. I guess that’s because people don’t really like going up escalators or elevators to high floors just for one or two items that they could easily buy on a lower floor. It’s kind of competitive at the Mall as businesses try to rake in customers, but truthfully, those in the lower floors do better than those near the top. In fact, the last few floors are pretty dead in terms of foot traffic. It truly feels…what’s the word…like a strange nostalgic experience… It feels bizarre!
The Mall’s still a wonderful place to go visit if you wanna spend some time shopping or just want to distract yourself! I actually frequently go to the Mall to buy myself and my friends different things! If you ever have time, let me know and I can give you a tour of the place! Yes, we’ll even go see those “dead” floors. I promise it’ll be fun!
Upcoming Events:
Now- Beach dimension returns: Snow covered palm trees and ice covered shores, well yes, that’s how winter rolls at the Beach!
February 8- Valentine’s Party 2024: Things will be looking pretty sweet this year, but let’s hope *you know who* doesn’t make it sour!
February 8- Picnic dimension returns: Let’s all take a visit to the Picnic dimension! I’ll meet you on the corner of Cornelia Street and 16th Avenue!
In February- Leap day and a birthday: They say that leap day is a pretty magical day that only comes once every four years, and one particular DPF chief will finally celebrate it on the actual day! I wonder if he has anything planned for that day?