THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, January 25, 2024
Edition 126
DPF FINDS ‘LEAK’ COMING FROM ARCTIC WARD
By: Porter
The DPF has responded to a tip coming from the Arctic ward in the District dimension about a "leak" coming from the area.
According to additional details released within the last 24 hours, a patrol officer stationed in the Russian enclave, which a small part of it is inside of the Arctic ward, was notified by a researcher of a strange finding.
The researcher, who remains anonymous, was out collecting snow and ice samples on a regularly planned route. During this route, the researcher was walking along the Magnus Murus — the big protective wall that surrounds the District dimension. When reaching a certain point along the wall, it was discovered that a large hole had been carved out of the wall, leading out to the rural dream world.
Upon notifying a patrol officer, the DPU would later send more officers and alert the DIA about this finding. Soon after, patrol officers and detectives were dispatched to the scene to survey the findings.
Chief Daiki of the DIA and chief Matías of the DPU were down in the Arctic ward earlier today to see the finding for themselves. The hole appeared to have been carved out in recent weeks, according to chief Daiki, and has "the signs of malicious intent" as well.
While the investigation is ongoing, the DIA chief believes that this particular hole in the wall is very likely responsible for the very cold temperatures being observed across the dream world.
"You want to think about this ward as a refrigerator. The Arctic ward has the coldest air in the entire dream world," he explains, "If you were to accidentally leave the refrigerator door open, the cold air will escape and disperse around the house. As a bit nonsensical as this sounds, this hole has let the cold air from the Arctic ward escape into the rest of the dream world."
Chief Daiki says that the person who did this knew it would go heavily under the radar for some time.
"For anyone to want to tamper with the weather in such a way that goes under the radar, you would avoid directly manipulating it that could be picked up by weather sensors," he explains, "Thus, carving a hole in a wall to let cold air escape isn't directly manipulating the weather. It goes under the radar completely, until of course, someone happens to stumble upon it."
The DPF has divided this information among the DIA, DPU, DFCU, and IAA. Each of these branches will be coordinating with one another to gather evidence and additional details in this ongoing investigation. However, it's very likely who the suspect is.
"Not to point fingers at anyone, but yes, we do believe Francis Robert P. Jackson is once again behind this," DPU chief Matías says, "We don't normally have patrol officers in the Arctic ward as conditions here are too brutal for anyone to enter and commit crimes, so if Francis did this, he has studied the District well to know this particular area is suitable to commit a crime without getting caught."
About where the initial carving could've come from, chief Daiki believes it started from outside of the wall.
"Extreme temperatures in the Arctic ward are not suitable for humans to spend too much time in," he explains, "It is easier to punch a hole in the wall from the outside where it is not as cold. I must say it is impressive to carve a hole considering how thick the concrete is. There is much to investigate."
The hole itself will be patched within the coming weeks as the DPF continues its investigation. For any tips regarding this incident, you can dial the special hotline for the DIA at *342 and then follow instructions.
WEATHER SERVICE EXPECTS TEMPERATURES TO SLOWLY GO BACK TO NORMAL
By: Roman
Following the leak of cold, brutal air from the Arctic ward, the DWPS now has an understanding as to why temperatures have been historically cold lately.
With the revelation that the cold air escaped into much of the dream world, this puts a better understanding to why forecasts in recent weeks did not anticipate such a cold wave. With limited information from the DPF to work with, the DWPS now believes that temperatures should start going back to normal, but not at a fast rate.
"We would like to thank the DPF for providing us with information regarding the freezing anomaly affecting the dream world this year," DWPS chief Kairós said, "We are aware that this hole will be patched up soon and that will slowly bring temperatures out of historic proportions."
The weather service explains that since it took time for the dream world to feel the greatest impact of the cold, it will also take time for the dream world to start feeling like it should feel like for winter.
"Temperature changes don't happen instantly," Cirrus of the DWPS says, "They are gradual and take time to stabilize. We should be more 'warmer' in about two weeks or so, granted, still cold- but not as much."
Many dream world residents are relieved that this cold wave will pass soon.
"So happy that the cold will subside!" a local cat-hybrid tells me, "I can't always wear these coats!"
"That's a relief to hear," said a floating eyeball creature, "These wings of mine get frozen in the cold. I need it to be warm!"
"As long as there aren't any freak snowstorms in the forecast," a local farmer says, "I can't have cold weather so close to spring!"
Some services have slowed down operations in the past week amidst the cold, but surprisingly, none of them have shut down entirely like the previous two years.
"We have limited postal mail services running, but as slow as it may be, we are still operational!" DPDS chief Kaige said, "Your mail may arrive later than anticipated, but we're just trying to keep our workers as safe and warm as we can!"
"Power seems to be doing well across the grid," DPEC chief Lumière said, "Little outages have been reported even though we have limited workers on the clock to patch them up. We haven't shut down!"
While temperatures are still "brutally" cold, the DWPS anticipates that we will reach the peak of these cold temperatures by this weekend and soon get back to normal temperatures for the season.
"Hang in there everyone! Less colder weather is on the way. We will be working with the DPF in coordinating our forecasts and their investigation. Hopefully this will be the only and last 'freeze wave' of the year!"
For the latest forecasts, please visit the DWPS' website where you can also find additional resources and information about the weather.
Q/A: Ask Cirrus
Dear Cirrus, what are some ways to receive information about the weather in the dream world?
By: Knoe Tefie
Hello Knoe! There are various mediums to receive information about the weather in the dream world, especially emergencies! The most common form to receive information is by television! The DWPS has a special channel dedicated to running 24/7 weather information; plus, you can listen to some jazzy tunes when you use this way of receiving information! You can also receive information by radio, internet, and by cellphone!
Whenever advisories are issued in your area, you will also simultaneously receive information on TV, radio, and by cellphone. Receiving information about the weather is quite easy!
Dear Cirrus, when was the DWPS founded?
By: Earl Y.
Hello Earl! The Dimension Weather Prediction Service was founded in 1958. Many residents of the dream world wanted a way to get reliable information about the weather of the dream world. Luckily, a group of weather loving people got together to form a then tiny organization which later became the DWPS!
Did you know I was a part of the original group who founded it? It’s true!
Dear Cirrus, what is the dew point temperature?
By: Hugh Midd
Hello Hugh! It’s often that people tend to confuse humidity with the dew point, so I will explain what it is!
Dew point refers to what temperature the air needs to be cooled so it can reach a relative humidity of 100%. When it reaches 100%, the air can’t hold any more water vapor. The higher the dew point, the more moisture there is in the air. This is why during summer months when it’s hot in certain places, the abundant moisture in the air feels oppressive and “humid.” Dew points greater than 65 (18°C) degrees feel pretty awful, but anything less than 55 (12°C) degrees is considered dry and comfortable. I’d take a hot day with a low dew point over a hot day with a high dew point anyday!
Dear Cirrus, what is a cold front?
By: Massa Air
Hello Massa! We talked about fronts before, but there are different types of fronts. Let’s talk about a cold front!
A cold front is essentially the dividing line between a mass of cold air that is replacing a mass of warm air. Typically associated with low pressure systems, the passing of a cold front brings cooler weather to an area. However, cold fronts can be associated with thunderstorms just ahead of it! This is because the cold air is forcing the air in front of it to rise. Remember, warm air rises and when warm air rises, it can cause clouds and eventually, storms! The storms can be severe, with heavy rain, strong, gusty winds, and perhaps a tornado or two. However, cold fronts pass by quickly, so the storms don’t last too long. They are more common in the fall and spring!
Dear Cirrus, why is the sky blue?
By: Felin Bleu
Hello Felin! A lot of people like to think that the sky is blue for different reasons, but what’s the real reason?
In the real world, when solar radiation enters the atmosphere, it comes mostly in radiation of visible light wavelengths. Oxygen molecules in the atmosphere, which are abundant in the atmosphere, scatter this incoming light most effectively in the blue wavelength of light. Because of this, it turns the sky blue on a clear sunny day!
Dear Cirrus, do you think someone made a hole in the Arctic ward on purpose?
By: Villy Ness
Hello Villy! I think it’s very likely that someone made a hole on purpose to disrupt the weather this winter! The last two winters, it appears as if someone directly manipulated the weather which was caught by DWPS weather sensors. This year, nothing was picked up from our sensors, so it’s safe to say the weather wasn’t tampered with directly this year.
The hole itself caused a massive leak of cold air into the dream world which plunged temperatures across the dream world. We’ve seen historically cold temperatures when compared to other years! It appears this was an indirect attempt to affect the weather without actually manipulating it directly. Luckily, the DPF is looking to patch it up soon, but we can’t believe this is the reason why it’s been feeling colder than normal lately! While I won’t say who I think did this, it’s safe to say it’s likely the same person who messed with winter in 2022 and 2023!
Upcoming Events:
Now- Cold weather continues: At least we seemed to figure out what's causing all this freezing weather, but it better be less cold soon...I almost miss summer!
February 1- Beach dimension returns: Yes it can snow at a beach, haven’t you heard of that one song? We’ll see it soon again!
February 8- Valentine’s Party 2024: Be warned! Love will be in the air again soon- for better or for worse! Do you have someone to call your valentine yet? Don’t worry, there’s still time!
February 8- Picnic dimension returns: Roll out the blanket and bring the picnic basket along! It’ll be the loveliest date you’ll ever have!