THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Edition 137

DREAM WORLD BACK TO NORMAL AS CORRUPTION DIMINISHES

By: Porter

Following a decrease in corruption across the dream world, things have appeared to have gone back to normal.

Last week, we reported that a mission to travel between worlds to seal a rift portal causing our world to collide with Wonderland had been sealed. The mission, led by DIA chief detective Daiki, was a success as they were able to successfully seal said portal and brought the otherworldly visitors back home. Following this, the corruption across the dream world slowly began to subside.

As the days progressed, dimensions slowly began to revert back to their normal states. The various glitches, errors, and other strange happenings would soon begin to fade. The DPF sent out various patrol officers to inspect any damages that could have resulted from this, but report little damage overall.

“It’s a real miracle that dimensions escaped largely undamaged after all of this mess,” Dimension Patrol Unit chief Matías said in a press conference, “Our patrol officers are reporting little damage in sporadic areas of the rural dream world. The District remained unaffected by this incident- as far as we know- and overall, things are looking better.”

The DPF’s rescue operations team also recently reported that despite all of the strange happenings across the dream world in the past two weeks, there were no calls to any major emergencies relating to said corruption.

“Well I’ll be darned! Looks like everyone stayed safe from the corruption!” ROTU leader Finnegan said, “I’m very happy that things didn’t take a drastic turn for anyone. It seems we all played it safe, but I will admit, it was kind of fun seeing things all silly!”

Other big leaders at the DPF have expressed satisfaction with the overall turn of events.

“Pleased to report that, at least public health-wise, things are well after all of this,” DDCP chief Ophelia said, “This wasn’t a public health emergency anyway, but we still monitored for anything out of the ordinary just in case.”

“Wonderful! Excellent even!” DFCU chief Vivienne said, “Chief Tsukanai is a very smart man. Only someone like him could have sealed a portal of that magnitude while travelling between worlds!”

“The mission headed by chief Tsukanai was very successful indeed,” IAA chief Kamaria said, “It brought with it some very important- top secret- intelligence. This will be important for future missions and understanding the vast worlds out there…”

DIA chief Daiki reports that this particular case is closed, however, he will be finalising his case on the magic show from February before releasing additional details soon.

“This particular case is closed, but details will be released once I finally finish the magic show case,” the DIA chief told the press, “Both of these incidents are related to one another. I believe I figured out what happened. Give me another week or so and I will finalise the official reports on these events.”

The dream world is back to normal again. The DPF states that they do not expect any more widespread corruption anytime soon, but ask travellers to always stay cautious when travelling across the dream world.

WEATHER SERVICE FORECASTS RAIN, THUNDER SHOWERS THIS MONTH

By: Roman

Spring is slowly beginning to show its face in the dream world, but it’s been tough.

The weather service recently released a statement acknowledging that spring this year has been off to a slow start. This checks in with their seasonal outlook that addressed how spring this year was going to be “near-below average” when compared to other springs on average. However, things may soon pick up.

In the statement, they said that their forecast models are picking to show signs of life for the potential for spring related weather soon. While they don’t expect things to happen right away, they believe things will pick up towards the end of the month.

“Spring has been struggling to take off this year!” Cirrus, DWPS senior meteorologist said, “But we are now seeing signs that rain and thunder showers are on the way! This is big weather news!”

Spring is normally affiliated with rain showers and thunderstorms. These showers and storms can be felt across the dream world in many dimensions. While most are benign, some can still get severe.

“It’s always hard to predict if a thunderstorm will become severe in nature,” Cirrus explains, “We are always looking and watching our weather stations for anything that can hint at it. Spring is lovely, but it’s still important to be safe!”

Cirrus says that it won’t be another two weeks or so before the dream world even sees these widespread showers and storms.

“For rain lovers out there, hang in there! It’s coming!” Cirrus says, “Spring is starting off a bit later than usual. Although snow isn’t widespread, we are missing the rain! Expect conditions to start changing in the next two weeks.”

Cirrus also explained that skies could begin to turn grey and darken ahead of the rain and storms.

“Skies should begin to turn grey if an area is getting ready to observe rain,” Cirrus explains, “Keep an eye on the dream world sky. Your local dimension might be seeing rain soon!”

For the latest weather updates and information in your area or another area, visit the DWPS’ website or your local forecasting office for additional resources.

Q/A: Ask Lucid

Dear Lucid, what kinds of papers did you write about in the Academy?

By: Akka Demi

Hello Akka. During my time at the Academy, I wrote countless papers on a wide variety of topics and subjects. I remember writing a lot about mathematics and the sciences and all of the things that make our universe work. I was very much ahead of many people at the Academy, and even those of great minds in the real world. Any sort of thing you can think of and I likely had it down. The law of gravity? Done. The quadratic formula? Done. The theory of relativity? Not a theory anymore as I solved it. The answer to life, the universe, and everything in it? Well, I will admit this one took me a while to find, but I managed to figure it out once out of the Academy. I wrote many papers on these subjects. Although they may have destroyed them, they have no problem copying it and passing it off as general knowledge without crediting me. Hmph.

Dear Lucid, is money really the root of all problems?

By: Ilov Monis

Greetings Ilov. Money has long been a subject of debate as to whether or not it causes many problems we might face today in our society. I want to say this is subjective, but research shows that monetary disputes have been linked to problems in the dream and real world alike. It seems to come down to money, money, money. Some people have too much. Some people have too little. Of course, I cannot say this is the case for every problem ever. That would be too big of a stretch. Would a child not being able to reach the cookie jar be a monetary problem? Not at all.

Dear Lucid, can dream demons give a person good dreams?

By: Kantz Leap

Hello Kantz. You may be aware that dream demons have had a bad reputation back in the day for being mischievous and giving humans some rather unpleasant dreams. While dream demons in general have mostly stopped doing that, we are also capable of producing good dreams. It is something that we must learn to achieve, but upon mastering it, we can give a person pleasant dreams for the night. This is useful for those with insomnia or perhaps frightened to have a nightmare. We can be good guys too, you know.

Dear Lucid, what is 3+3?

By: Canyu Gess

Hello Canyu. The answer to that is 33. No no, I kid. I am aware that the answer is 6. I simply wanted to fool you for a second.

Dear Lucid, could you teach a person any subject ever?

By: Sue B. Jeks

Greetings Sue. Yes. I am well studied in just about every subject you can think of. Why go to a prestigious school when you can simply ask me to teach you. A lot of people would be thrilled to spend time with someone as knowledgeable as me. And it would be free too. After all, I believe everyone is deserving of a free and fair education.

Dear Lucid, why haven't you been in the story lately?

By: Concerned Citizen

Hello Concerned Citizen. You know, I am not sure. The last time I made an official appearance was back in July of 2023, but since then, I have not necessarily been relevant in the story. I am the main character, but where are my lines of dialog at? I am sure the writer has their own reasons, but I do miss being in the story again. At least I have this space in the newspaper to talk freely. Oh how I wish I had more to say, but perhaps I will be back in the story soon. Fingers crossed.

Upcoming Events:

Now- Lucid’s back in his realm: It’s him, hi! It’s the demon, it’s him! At trial time, everybody agrees! Okay, enough of the singing- Lucid’s back!

April 25- Rainy Days: Showers and thunderstorms hit the dream world, but not in a bad way! Spring is finally showing its face and it is quite dreary!

April 25- Fashion Show event: Surprise! The most stylish event ever is coming back! Returning themes will be making an appearance, but of course…expect new themes!

April 25- New area: It’s been a while since we’ve gotten a new area in the game! What can we expect in this area? I hope you like shopping!