THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, May 9, 2024
Edition 141
WEATHER SERVICE UPGRADES SEVERE WEATHER RISK
By: Porter
The forecast is in and it appears as if things may get severe.
The Dimension Weather Prediction Service has upgraded the risk of severe weather in the dream world from "low" to "medium" earlier this week. According to the weather agency, forecast models are now trending in favour of moderate to strong thunderstorms- some of which could turn severe.
"Our severe weather scale currently has three options: low, medium, and high," senior DWPS meteorologist Cirrus explains, "Normally, it is on the low end of the scale, but we are ticking it up to the medium level."
A medium risk level of severe weather is associated with a likelihood of "small to large hail, frequent lightning, flooding, and a couple of tornadoes," according to the DWPS' website. The last time the dream world saw a medium risk level was last spring. During that time, the America ward saw an EF-2 tornado affect part of the U.S. enclave.
"We expect the weather to get more serious around the dream world, including the District," Cirrus says, "Skies will get darker in areas where the weather is further deteriorating. It may get serious!"
The DWPS is actively monitoring for severe weather using their numerous weather stations around the dream world. So far, they haven't seen anything severe, but that will change soon.
"We may not see much at this very moment, but we expect things to change soon- and perhaps fast," Cirrus tells me, "We have eyes and ears monitoring for anything dramatic. We're constantly watching!"
With this in mind, Cirrus reminds the public to have ways to receive weather related alerts.
"Now is the time to make sure you have multiple ways to receive alerts from the DWPS," Cirrus says, "The DWPS sends out alerts to certain areas being affected by significant weather. Whether it be by television, radio, phone, or some other way, make sure you can get our alerts!"
For the latest weather conditions in your area or any area in the dream world, please visit the DWPS' website. You can also visit your local forecasting office for additional resources.
I NEED HELP FINDING SOMETHING!!
By: Almoral
Hello dream world! Allow me to introduce myself if you don’t know who I am…
My name is Almoral- the greatest and most powerful and awesome and handsome necromancer in the dream world!! You may know me as the guy who got the cure for Neapworm AND helped bring all the spirits back home last year- YUP! That’s ME! I’m here writing to you directly in THE Subliminal Tribune because I need help!
Now based on the headline, you might be thinking “Oh no! Is Almoral needing help with finding the great, awesome, smart, amazing, adorable, powerful and coolest person ever Lucid again?” and to that I say- well, yes, but actually no- not this time. You see, I might need help with a couple things here and there BUT Lucid is NOT the target of this help this time around. Let me explain!
I got in touch with Porter- who by the way is an awesome pal and GREAT journalist- and he managed to land me a spot in the paper! Recently, I went out to dine at the Parlor dimension with some awesome friends. While we were there, we also bumped into Vivienne- y’know, chief of the DFCU for the DPF (boo!). She just so happened to be stopping by for some veggie pizza.
She came in and everyone was all like “WOW! Vivienne! You’re so cool!” Oh yeah? Well no offense to Madame Vivienne, but I bet I can solve mysteries better than she can! Oh wait, is that what she does? She's into forensics right? Crime scenes, dead bodies and all that? Well I too deal with death, but I do it better than her! Hm, no offense!
Anyways, oh yeah back to the story! So while she was there, I told her that I could solve cases better than she can! She just laughed and said “oh I bet you can monsieur, uh what is your name again?” and I was like “I’m Almoral!!! I’m the greatest necromancer around!! I helped take down Neapworm and brought all the spirits home last year!”
Well after that exchange I went back to eating pizza with my friends and then we all went home. However, when I came back home, I realized something: I lost something of mine! Something I brought along with me to the Parlor wasn’t with me anymore! I could’ve sworn I had it with me, but I don’t know where it is anymore! Normally I’d go find it on my own, but I want to ask for help because this is something really important!
This is why I’m asking anyone out there who is reading this to come volunteer and help me out! What do you say? If you agree to help me out, I will be waiting in the Backrooms! Please please please help me out! In return, I’ll uh…I don’t have a reward or anything planned out right now but trust I’ll think of something by then! Anywho, I’ll be waiting in the Backrooms in one week so people can read this article and make up their mind to come. Can’t wait to see you all!!
Q/A: Ask Epsilon
Dear Epsilon, what are some known vortices in the real world?
By: W. Earl
Hello W. I’m sure you know what a vortex is, but for those who don’t, a vortex in the real world is a spiralling energy source that can allow humans to gain access to the dream world- usually by accident. In other words, they are portals to the dream world. All vortices have one type of specific energy: clockwise or counter-clockwise.
Vortices with clockwise energy have a “lifting” force that is considered as positive energy. These vortices are not means of access to the dream world. From what I’ve learned, these vortices have a gentle and peculiar aura to them that most humans use for spiritual or astronomical purposes. Some examples of this in the real world would be Stonehenge, Mount Fuji, and the Temple of Kukulcán.
Counter-clockwise energy vortices have a “sinking” force that is considered as negative energy. These vortices are the ones that can land humans into the dream world, but again it’s usually by accident. Humans often view these vortices as “paranormal”, “unexplainable”, or even “haunted” but they’re really portals to our world. Some examples of this in the real world would be the Bermuda Triangle, the Hoia forest, and the Sherman Ranch.
Now don’t get me wrong: there are millions of vortices in the real world. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a chance for a counter-clockwise vortex to make a human vanish. Counter-clockwise vortices that are too weak still have a minute chance to “capture” a human and send them to our world. It’s not known what activates a vortex to make humans vanish into thin air, but it’s speculated that it has to do with the right conditions. Essentially, being in the right place for the vortex, but at the wrong time.
Many humans who go missing in the real world with no explanation are a result of stumbling upon a negative energy vortex at the wrong time. In recent years, some vortices have weakened dramatically, like the Bermuda Triangle, so it’s possible some of the more prominent and infamous ones will too.
Vortices are a strange phenomenon in the real world that humans can’t explain, but hey, at least your local cat-boy is able to with no problem.
Dear Epsilon, what is your favorite music genre?
By: Poppy Song
Hello Poppy. I enjoy listening to alternative music nowadays, but I still have a thing for classical and jazz music.
Dear Epsilon, do you enjoy the rain?
By: Rayne E. Skai
Hello Rayne. Rain is lovely because it helps me fall asleep and it also helps me focus whenever I am painting. Of course, I don’t like getting caught out in the rain, and I also do not like thunderstorms. Lightning and thunder don’t necessarily scare me, but I just find it annoying to deal with, especially when I’m trying to focus or go to sleep.
Dear Epsilon, do you like watching anime?
By: Annie May
Hello Annie. I don’t mind watching anime series, but the mangas are typically much better than the TV adaptations. There’s just more content in the manga and anime series typically don’t capture this content and sometimes even cut it out entirely. Perhaps I’m biassed since I like reading, but seriously, they’re better.
Dear Epsilon, what do you like about Dylan the most?
By: A. Speck
Hello A. One of the things I like the most about Dylan is his sense of humour and jokes. I’ll be honest, and I don’t mean to vent, but growing up, it was really tough always feeling like I was alone. When my family didn’t really pay attention to me, it was hard to smile. Meeting Dylan though, it almost felt weird to smile or laugh at all of the things he said or did. His humour and just having around really made life a little more worth living. And yes, he knows this.
Upcoming Events:
Now- Birthday Party: Happy birthday Epsilon! 228 never looked better on anyone! Celebrate at the Party dimension and keep him company!
Now- Neighborhood dimension returns: Rain is also being observed in the Neighborhood this month. Do you think someone here will be nice enough to lend us some shelter from it?
May 16- Noir Party 2024: Dimensions across the dream world are set to go black and white soon. It makes the best setting for an old movie or perhaps a detective series?
May 16- The Case of the Missing Super Awesome Thing: Almoral is asking for help on finding his “super awesome thing” that went missing! Join him and friends for this quick, but silly mystery! Be sure to bring along your best magnifying glass too!
FLASHBACK: Epsilon celebrating his 227th birthday last year.