THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Edition 172

HOLIDAY SEASON TO BE BRIGHT

By: Oswald


As the dream world recovers, the forecast for this month is looking exceptionally bright. 


The holiday season is officially underway, and workers at the Pole are excited to usher in the delight and wonder of the season after a very dismal November.


“We're excited to bring the lights and joy of the holiday season to everyone this year!” Rainier, Secretary of Christmas Affairs, told me, “It's been a rough few weeks, but with Francis arrested and things going back to normal, it's looking safe to observe the most jolliest season yet!”


Rainier says that workers at the Pole have been busy helping out in the recovery efforts, which now includes the postal system.


“The DPDS has backlogged a lot of its postal material in the rural dream world, but luckily we know a thing or two about receiving and delivering things,” Rainier explained, “We'll also be helping out getting mail to their rightful destinations to speed up everything that's been delayed. We want everyone to get their cards, packages, and other mail on time!”


While workers are also occupied on helping clear out the snow, Rainier says that there is no disruption to activities at the Pole in association with Christmas.


“No need to worry about us! We have enough workers to handle everything!” The secretary told me, “We still have workers here assembling things, wrapping gifts, and preparing for the big day. We are right on track to be on time come December 24. We're ready!”


While some parts of the dream world remain dark, Rainier says that workers will also help out light these areas in a unique way.


“Is your area still dark? No problem! We can send out workers to decorate your area with lights and decorations so it's not so dark. A little bit of holiday magic, if you will.”


With this in mind, the secretary says that he expects the dream world to look really festive in about a week.


“People have started putting up decorations themselves, but the dream world will really look incredible in about a week. Trust me, we'll be making this one joyful holiday worth remembering after a rough period. We're all in this together!”


The Pole dimension is open to the public, but visitors needing to visit the Pole HQ will need an appointment beforehand. Please visit the Pole HQ’s website or call them to schedule an appointment. Wait times vary and positions are limited.



RECOVERY EFFORTS ONGOING

By: Porter


Things are slowly, but surely getting better across the dream world!


Recovery efforts are ongoing as the dream world is looking better with each passing day. Granted, there are still many areas without power, but public services are slowly coming back.


The Dimension Power and Energy Company stated that about 61% of residents remain without power as of last Tuesday, but it is a decrease of the 84% it said last week. With crews out and about fixing the power grid, residents in dark areas are taking the time to visit areas with light to gain access to services like food, shelter, and internet.


“I’m in an area without power so I came to the Cafe to distract myself a bit,” Rory, who lives in a trailer told me, “It’s warm, there’s power, there’s food and drinks. I could get used to this!”


“My home remains without power, but at least the arcade has power!” Gale, who lives in the rural dream world said to me, “I love arcade games! I guess I can spend time here, but I’d better watch the clock so I don’t accidentally spend days here.”


With residents looking for areas with power, many businesses and areas are seeing extra foot traffic and revenue as a result.


“Disasters like these are tough, but in some ways, they can stimulate the local economies,” DPEC chief Lumière says, “People will go to areas that have power because they need its resources and they unintentionally help revitalize or empower a local business. It’s a strange, but unique phenomenon.”


Chief Lumière says that they remain on track to fix everyone’s power before the end of the year.


“We remain on track to have everyone’s power restored before December 31,” the chief said, “We’ve identified the areas hit hardest the most and found out the causes of the outage in those areas. This will help speed up restoration and get people their lights and internet back on.”


Elsewhere, many more areas are now being cleared of snow. Earlier this week, Acting Leader of the ROTU, Eliazar Suarez, resumed emergency services to, from, and within the rural dream world. The Acting Leader also stated that Leader Finnegan, who was previously taken care of in a medical facility, is feeling better and ready for work again.


“Finnegan has recovered swiftly and has been given the green light to resume his usual duties,” Eliazar said, “Therefore, this will be my final day as Acting Leader and Finnegan will return to his post tomorrow, December 13, to his usual duties. Thank you to everyone who sent well wishes and for their cooperation.”


The weather service has also lifted the “Winter Storm Emergency” from areas no longer buried in snow, but have kept it in place in areas that still are. Solid waste services are also resuming, but postal services remain suspended. The DPDS expects to resume to normal by Monday.


“We’re aware that some areas are still without power that are affecting the ability of some regional post offices to operate,” DPDS chief Kaige said, “However, we will likely resume services in general by Monday, at least in areas where our offices are looking good. We’ll send out an announcement by this weekend regarding this decision.”


The recovery continues. This is a developing story. Stay with the Subliminal Tribune for the latest information!

Q/A: Ask Rainier


Dear Rainier, what exactly is the Pole?

By: Nor T.

Hello Nor! The Pole is basically where the man himself, Santa Claus, resides while living in the dream world! The Pole is basically where Santa and all of his workers chose to relocate to from the real world since well, human society has been changing in modern times. It’s also a village of around 1,600 residents that call it home located on an island surrounded by icy waters. You can get to the Pole through various means, but I recommend it by train! While the Pole is tagged as a “seasonal” dimension, we’re pretty much always here for visitors and tourists year-round. That being said, the HQ itself is usually reserved for appointments (which are limited right now) so be sure to call ahead if you need any holiday assistance!


Dear Rainier, when does gift production begin?

By: Prisen T.

Hello Prisen! Our busiest times begin in mid-November running through Christmas Eve. We begin gift production in early November as we start getting closer to December! Our special production workers get to work to start assembling various knick-knacks and gifts of all kinds that those on the nice side of the List would like to get for Christmas! The gifts are then sent to a special warehouse where they are organized by category until mid-November when our wrap workers pick it up in the Wrapping Hall. Once they are wrapped, they are sent to another special warehouse where they await to be put in Santa’s sleigh! This typically begins in mid-December as workers finish producing and wrapping the final gifts. Gifts can still be produced last minute, even on Christmas Eve! Though by then, it’s typically involving magic as it’s last minute.


Dear Rainier, what’s your favorite Christmas song?

By: Carrol Singers 

Hello Carrol! There are so many songs to choose from! I would say my personal favorite is Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song” and he is a very great artist! 


Dear Rainier, what if someone doesn’t believe in Santa?

By: Bea Leav

Hello Bea! You know, there are definitely people out there who don't believe, and that's okay! Santa gives out gifts to people of all ages, so you're bound to get a gift from him at some point in your life- unless you're a criminal. Still, it's the concept of "seeing is believing" and although the man himself doesn't appear often in public like that, he's very much real! He's out there and he's getting ready to deliver presents. Remember, you are never too old to believe in Santa!


Dear Rainier, what’s the least favorite thing about your job?

By: Ettie Sux

Hi Ettie! There are a lot of things for me to handle as part of this job, but I don’t like taking phone calls… I’ll be honest, I’m fine with wrapping gifts, keeping track of records, managing postal material, taking care of the reindeer, handling the sleigh, and other things, but taking phone calls is exhausting. I’d rather deal with people in person than on the phone!


Dear Rainier, are fugitives allowed to receive presents?
By: Jay Cell

Hello Jay! Per protocols established here at Pole HQ, those who are considered fugitives, criminals, and active prisoners are not allowed to receive presents. Santa might be quite forgiving, but one deal struck with the Council of the dream world is that anyone deemed a threat such as a runway fugitive or criminal, is ineligible to receive presents from the big man himself. Yes, this does include the notorious Francis, who just almost ruined the entire holiday season!!! Believe me, it hurts me to say that not everyone can get a present, but a deal is a deal!

Upcoming Events:

NOW- Christmas at Biz Mart: Behold! Biz Mart has been hit with the Christmas beam! Sid really outdid himself this year, didn’t he?

DECEMBER 19- Holiday Party 2024: Looks like everything is ready for the merriest party of them all to take place. Rainier’s looking forward to this holiday season, especially after, you know, all of THAT…

DECEMBER 19-Joy to the World” story quest rerun: Experience what happened during last year’s Christmas season when everyone wasn’t really feeling it. How was it solved? Find out again soon enough!

DECEMBER 26- New Year’s Party 2024: It’s almost time to ring in another new year… 2024 was definitely one for the books, but it was also pretty weird. It looks like 2025 will be a brighter year for the dream world! (We hope) 

CHRIZ MART:  Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas and have a happy holiday from your favorite middle-of-nowhere gas station!