THE DREAM WORLD IS OFFICIALLY UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

By: Francis Robert P. Jackson

Greetings one and all! It is my great pleasure to be writing to you in this famed newspaper (that I managed to hack into and take control of myself)! You’re probably wondering who I am, why I’m doing this, and what’s going on- so please, allow me to introduce myself and explain!

My name is Francis Robert P. Jackson, and I am now the de facto leader of the rural dream world! Yes yes, don’t be afraid. Granted, this is best for everyone’s interests! I am a human scientist from the real world who arrived here in a freak accident from a project I was involved with in the real world in 1986. Since then, I have been quietly taking notes, doing my own research, planning and building away in an underground bunker for this very day!

The very poorly trained DPF has been unable to track me this whole time because I was underneath their noses this whole time- literally! I have been building various contraptions to try and throw the dream world in disarray, but it’s been hard to do so! After various trial and errors, my most favorite contraption was my weather machine! This grand machine has been the wonder that’s altered weather in the recent past- and of course- right now! I realized that a massive snow storm really disrupted things around here the previous times, so I decided to crank it up to the max and presto! It’s been incredibly effective! The dream world is at a virtual halt and no one can go out. Oh the weather outside is frightful…

Now that the weather is acting up, it’s safe to say that I can present my ACTUAL invention that I’ve been working on for years now. I was part of a project in the real world that attempted to reach this world. We knew such a world existed and we wanted in. In 1972, Project Morpheus began under our great president Richard Nixon! But alas, his resignation and subsequent predecessors did not want to continue this project. It wasn’t until the man himself, president Ronald Reagan really cranked this up in 1982! It was then we had the funds and time to build a portal to the dream world. Well flash forward to 1986 and I accidentally got pulled into the portal and ended up here. I highly believe the project was then scrapped because no one came back for me, though perhaps they forgot to come and get me.

Whatever the case, I’ve been wanting to go back. Project Morpheus served as a way to advance humanity into a new age of civilization. Our journeys to the Moon were halted, the ocean is too deep, and other planets are too far. The dream world, though? We learned it was just like our world. It was too similar. It is the perfect place to colonize and continue our story! Our world is going to come to an abysmal end at some point and we need to find a new place to call home. That is what the dream world meant to us. We, as humans, created this world. Without us, you all would not exist. Therefore, we deserve to own this place and do whatever we want with it.

Case in point, I have been making my own portal to go back to the real world and it’s just about ready to go! The portal itself has required a great amount of energy to power it and that is why I have borrowed the dream world’s energy to crank it up! In doing so, it’s left pretty much all of the rural dream world in the dark…oopsie! Not to worry, power will come back at some point…maybe…probably. Who knows! In the meantime, I’m warming this up and getting ready to go back to the real world. I want to go back and show everyone that I’m still alive and the original project was a success! I want to be the one to lead that effort to restart Project Morpheus if it really did get scrapped and show everyone all of my research from my time here. It’s been a long time coming!

Don't fret, I'll be the de facto leader of this winter wasteland until then! Now that roads are piled up with snow, everyone's forced to stay indoors! Emergency services are cut off and patrol officers are nowhere to be seen. That means you'll be listening to me from now on! By the way, that sly fox Finnegan has been captured by me. If you want him back, too bad! He shouldn't have gotten my DNA back then without my permission. This is revenge! As for the DPF, they have betrayed you and left you behind in the snow. DO NOT EXPECT THEM TO SAVE YOU! 

Anywho, enjoy the snow and the show! To my human readers, I hope you understand my plans and share my sentiments to advance our species into a new age. Stay tuned next week where I'll give my top five reasons as to why the human race should settle in the dream world! And to the non-human readers, GET LOST! This is OUR territory now! OUR land! OUR grand colony! For humanity!

NEW RULES FOR RURAL DREAM WORLD

By: Francis Robert P. Jackson

Since I was unable to conquer the cursed District- honestly you guys can have that mess- I have decided to come up with some new rules for the rural dream world. As expected, rules are harsher if you aren't a human. Sorry not sorry!

RULE 1: Absolutely NO person should be out in the streets during the morning and evening hours. Humans are exempt from this rule.

RULE 2: Under no circumstances should anyone celebrate human holidays which includes but is not limited to: Christmas, Halloween, Valentine's Day, New Year's, any days of national Independence (that never made sense in the first place), and April Fool's Day (thin ice). Humans are also exempt from this rule.

RULE 3: Loud music should NOT be played before noon and after midnight no matter the area you're in. This actually doesn't exclude humans. (I hate loud music!)

RULE 4: ALL purchases made in the rural dream world are subject to a 10% tax that goes directly to me. Purchases made by humans are completely free! (We own all of this.)

RULE 5: Real world entertainment such as television shows, films, books, magazines, board games, puzzles, or anything in this category is OFF LIMITS to non-human users. These were made solely by humans for humans, fact!

RULE 6: Engagement with Lucid is PROHIBITED, UNLESS attempting to capture him. Everyone is allowed to participate in this rule, as it is a shared feeling to put this criminal behind bars!

RULE 7: NO happiness allowed!!! Unless, of course, you're a human!

RULE 8: Absolutely NO negative posts shall be made about me on social media. This includes my fellow human beings. Anyone engaging in this may have their posts flagged or accounts terminated!! (I hacked and spread lies on LiminalSpaces before without getting caught, surprised?)

RULE 9: Everyone must pledge their allegiance to ME and ultimately to humanity. Thank your fellow human being for your existence! We will gladly appreciate a warm thank you!

RULE 10: Suggest more rules for me! Humans are exempt, but are very much welcome to join in and keep this place under our control.

These rules will be strictly enforced by yours truly as I have eyes and ears everywhere. Am I Big Brother? Maybe! STAY IN LINE AND YOU'LL BE FINE.

Q/A: Ask yours truly

Sorry, but who the heck are you again?
By: Hugh R. Ewe

Um, hello! I am Francis Robert P. Jackson! The greatest, most brilliant, and strongest human to have ever existed (in the dream world)! I am now the person you should bow down to as everything else matters no more! You have been warned! FOLLOW THE RULES!

Do you really think you’re going to get away with this?
By: Will Catschu

Yes, of course! Do you see the weather outside? Delightful isn’t it? Also, this portal is one hundred percent going to work and I will indeed get away with it. You can’t stop me suckers!

Where have you been hiding this whole time?
By: Lou Kinforu

Underground! I’m surprised those silly little fools at the DPF never thought about looking there. I was right under their noses this entire time! Too little, too late!

Why are you so obsessed with messing up the dream world?
By: Kay Otick

Me? Obsessed? HA! The only thing I’m obsessed with is science, inventing, the color blue, and of course, Nixon- the whole reason why I’ve made it this far in the first place! I don’t care about the dream world. I just want to use it to expand human determination and colonisation! 

Where’s Finn, you little orange mutant?
By: Eliazar

Oh, you’re that big cow man person from a while ago. First of all, how rude to call me that! I am no mutant! Have some manners! Anyways, if you really must know, Finnegan is currently in a cool place! You might even say it’s a tube-ular place! Puns aside, he’s standing around. Am I going to give him back? No! That sly fox might’ve outsmarted me then, but now the tables have turned! Consider this my revenge for stealing my saliva and hair without my permission!

When is this snow going to end and will power ever be restored?
By: Hope Less

So long as my weather machine is powered on, the snow will continue to fall! As for power, I’m gonna need all the juice I can get to power up this portal! It’s going to leave much of the rural dream world in the dark, but at least you get winter early! All I’m saying is that you will likely suffer before things even begin to get better, and that’s okay! I too had to suffer before getting to this point. Don’t worry, you’re in the safety of your own home! Once I leave back to the real world, I’ll bring forth more people with me and Project Morpheus will be hailed as humanity’s greatest achievement! By then, the snow should have stopped, melted, and power restored, but not before we make this world our world! Enjoy it while it lasts…we’ll be making this place great for human civilization.