THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Edition 03

PARTY DIMENSION HOLDS EVENT FOR LOCAL DREAM DEMON

By: Porter

The Party Dimension is hosting a lively and colorful event for a local dream demon, and wishes are already pouring in.

According to sources, this surprise party is being held for gifted Dimension Protection Force agent, Hallucinate, who goes as Nate. A dream demon who is turning another year older, and is known well in the dream world.

“Yeah, I know Nate!” said a local traveller, “He helped point me in the direction of the nearest public restroom. Bless his heart.” “Of course I know who they are,” said a local clown, “I was running late for a gag at the Circus...thank goodness he led the way!”

Nate himself was spotted in the dimension, and he seemed very surprised at the invitation. “WAAHHH,” Nate cried out, “I can’t believe a party was planned for me! I didn’t think it was going to happen this time around, but I was wrong it seems!” 

Several party goers were seen handing gifts to him, along with hugs, cake, and dancing. “Nate is so cool! He can accurately give us directions all the time!” said one party goer. “Definitely! I’m still confused on if that is a halo or horns on his head though…” said another party goer.

When asked about who threw the party, the construction workers from last week shrugged. “We still don’t really know who gave us the order for it. We still assume it was probably someone close to Nate.” 

“Well, I can only really imagine one person doing all of this for me, but he can’t attend it…” Nate said. “It’s understandable as to why, but I know he did all of this for me as a way to show he still cares. It really means a lot to me that he did this.” Upon asking for who, Nate just smiled. “He knows who he is.”

Nate’s birthday party will run from September 16 until September 23, to which then the Party Dimension will go back to its original state. Visitors are asked to join in on the fun and eat cake too.

TELEVISION DIMENSION PORTAL OPENS TO PUBLIC

By: Telly V. Ision

Hello readers of The Subliminal Tribune. Allow me to introduce myself. 

My name is Telly V. Ision, but you can call me Telly! I am the keeper of the famed Television Dimension, or TV Dimension. For half a human century now, I have called this dimension my home, but do not get wrong- I have been around for longer! 

Today, I am announcing that I have given permission to Figment of the Backrooms to open a portal that leads directly to my home! Yes yes, I know what you’re thinking: “How come there wasn’t one before?” To that I say, HA! While coming across my dimension is a bit of a hassle, it does need a bit of life in here to keep myself entertained. How ironic! Most folks watch TV to be entertained, but it is I who needs to be entertained too!

Upon giving permission, I am opening this dimension fully, without it being a hassle trying to find it while travelling the dream world. Just noclip yourself into the Backrooms and head into the portal! We have all kinds of entertainment here! Sports! Gaming! Weather! Cartoons! News! Soap-Operas! Whatever you wish to view! Ahem, pay no attention to the screen displaying a live view of that dreaded store…

All entities of the dream world are welcome to visit! EXCEPT those who have been deemed a danger to the dream world for their disgraceful actions! And those who live alone… And those who have been doomed for eternity… Those who have seen the pyramids… Those who mask themselves up in SHAME for who they are… Truly, if you’re all of these, DO NOT COME! May your visit here be splendid and filled with great wonder! 

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, what do you wish for on your birthday?
By: Celeb R. Ation

Hi Celeb! Gee, I haven’t really thought a lot about birthday wishes! You know, birthdays are fun and all, but when you get up to about a thousand years of existence, you kind of stop wishing for things! I’ve always been grateful for all the gifts and wishes people have sent to me throughout the years, but I guess there are still a few things I wish for at such an age.

For starters, I wish my horns were bigger! Don’t get me wrong, they are nice, but it just takes a very long time for them to keep growing. If they were bigger, maybe they could be useful.

I’ve been asked if I would ever wish to visit reality, but I’m not sure about that! I’ve heard stories of what it’s like up there from some other dream world entities, but mostly from Lucid. I think he was very brave to go visit the real world, but maybe others were too harsh on him... I couldn’t even go up there anyway if I wanted to, since DPF protocols state that it is prohibited that agents even attempt to go to reality.

I guess my biggest wish overall is to end up accidentally discovering a lost dimension! There are many lost dimensions across the dream world, but many are hard to find because they become more “foggy” as human time passes on. Dimensions can be created, but never truly destroyed, perhaps corrupted, but never dissolved into nothingness. I’m hoping to come across the Colosseum Dimension; Lucid has told me many stories about it, and I hope to find it one day! My favorite dimension has also become lost… the Diner Dimension is so peaceful and a good place to hang out, but alas, it became lost! I wish to come across it again someday.

Maybe one day my wishes will come true, but until then, I will work hard on my job and celebrate another year added to this dream demon’s life! 

Dear Nate, what is the Patch Dimension like?
By: P. Kin

Hello P! Wow, you’re in for a treat, actually. The Patch Dimension is set to manifest itself again next week!

The dimension itself is very cool! Step in and you’ll immediately feel the crisp, autumn air. The sky is an orange sunset hue, trees have their autumn foliage ready, and of course: pumpkins!

If you’re lucky enough, you might meet the keeper of the patch, Cal. Cal’s been running his farm for several decades now and it’s always a big hit! Cal himself is quite reserved though; there are rare occasions you’ll bump into him, but he’s mostly out guarding his most prized possession. Cal has kept the biggest pumpkin of the patch to himself, and for reasons too! Many can pick pumpkins to take with them, but the biggest one is always for him and him only. There are stories of people wanting to steal it, so he’s definitely guarding it.

There are also strange stories of the patch itself. For some weird reason, the patch seems to “come alive” during October. I can’t verify if the patch is cursed, or has some sort of weird anomaly to it, but visiting it around Halloween is a different experience. 

Overall, the dimension is safe and nice to visit! Be on the look out when it manifests itself again next week, and should be up until mid-November.

Upcoming Events:

Now- Birthday Party: Nate turns another year older, but it always feels like he doesn’t age one bit!

Now- New dimension opens: Feels like you’re being watched? You’re not wrong...

September 23- The Patch Dimension opens: Cal’s Pumpkins is getting ready to open up business again, and his pumpkins are the best in the midwest!

September 23- New Dimension opens: Hear that? Those are the sounds of machines beeping and booping. It’s hours of fun here, but does anyone know what day it is? 

September 30- Corn Maze 2021: Cal also owns a peculiar patch of land that he set up as a maze. What lies at the end? Guess we’ll have to find out together!