THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, September 30, 2021

Edition 05

MYSTERIOUS MAZE OF CORN APPEARS OVERNIGHT

By: Porter

Some people have become baffled after what appears to be a maze of corn that appeared overnight out of nowhere.

Many stumbling into the Patch Dimension made this discovery and are questioning where it came from. “It’s like a big maze there! I’d get lost!” said one bystander. “Yeah it’s kinda spooky...especially with all the fog.” said another.

“That’s just Cal’s maze,” said Nate of the DPF, “There’s hardly anything to worry about. According to these scans, the maze is mostly just a compile of corn, hay, and pumpkins. If anything, the most dangerous thing here is probably the low visibility!”

When asked about the history of the maze, Nate stated it was a bit peculiar. “Well, personally, I’ve never finished this maze myself. I’ve heard stories of people who wandered in, but ended up lost. I’m not sure if they ever made it to the end, but I’ve also heard tales of Cal scaring people in here! I hope that’s not true.”

There is a brief historical fact that Cal was last seen a few years ago, but the man has not been seen since. “Again, Cal is pretty reserved. Your chances of finding him are like finding a needle in a haystack. Ironically, we are surrounded by walls of hay and corn! Crazy!” Nate said.

The Corn Maze that has appeared is estimated to be open to those who are brave enough to venture in it until early November. Daring adventurers are asked to take it slow, as the fog hinders visibility, and to keep track of what direction they came from.

MALL DIMENSION LEAVES MANY WITH QUESTIONS

By: Roman

Something appears to be a bit off with the Mall Dimension.

According to new visitors, many had come with the idea to shop at some of the outlets, but were baffled to find the stores closed or shut down.

“I don’t understand. Are we too late? Did the mall close? Or is this place abandoned for good?” said a local shopper. “I came for new clothes, but 4ever 18 is closed!”

Other stores, like Modern Electronics, also appear to be closed. “No no no, you have it all wrong,” said Telly, “I do not own this store of modern electronics. Imagine though! I get to be the one to sell televisions to people who will gladly use them for entertainment! Fun stuff! But of course, I wouldn’t want to get too hooked on a screen…”

Manga store, Far East Reads, appears to be going out of business. “From what I heard, apparently a lot of their books were sold to someone at one point, and now that they’re close to running out of them, they’re on the brink of shutting down the place,” said an avid manga reader, “I hope the rumors aren’t true, I love manga! I just wanna know who loves manga more than me to sell out an entire store!”

Visitors who come to shop are asked to consider turning back, as the stores are closed, and will likely remain closed until further notice. 

Q/A: Ask Nate

Dear Nate, how can humans enter the dream world?
By: Hugh Mann

Hey Hugh! That question is surely one that always baffles us creatures of the dream world, but not to worry! Let me break it down.

Getting into the dream world from the real world is not easy, just as it is getting from the dream world to the real world. There are certain moments in time that appear to be glitches or malfunctions in the matrix. Such glitches can cause certain humans to accidentally fall out of reality and end up here in the dream world. There are infamous expressions like “noclipping” that humans have dubbed for those who stumble in the dream world. For a human, this can be quite scary! One day you’re walking to work and suddenly you fall down into the ground and poof! You’re in some weird dimension! Strangely, no one can really explain these glitches.

Another way humans fall into the dream world is by finding portals to it. I’m not too smart in this subject, but from what I’ve heard, there are strange vortexes in the real world that can actually take humans in them and make them come to the dream world in an instant. These strange vortexes could be some sort of strange magic, but magic only exists in the dream world, unless it somehow got out? 

In the easiest way that humans access this world, that is an often occurrence, is by sleeping! Yes, everyone dreams. Humans can subconsciously access the dream world, if they manage by luck, to dream of a memory they had before. Most dreams are quite personal, so they may not successfully reach our world. Sometimes, a dream might be recalled enough by other sleepy humans to make them manifest themselves into a dimension here. From there, humans get fuzzy feelings of nostalgia, encounter entities- sometimes scary ones which they might describe as nightmares! - and venture around in a world that may not make sense to them, but makes sense to us. And of course, they leave when they wake up in the real world!

To be clear, not all humans make it back to the real world. I’ve heard stories of humans going missing in the real world and never reappearing. Well, you should consider the fact that they just may be trapped in this world by accident! Getting humans back to the real world is hard, especially since they would need to seek the Council and get approval, but to do that, you need permission from the DPF, and it is quite tough to reach the Council. Then again, you could try speaking with someone in the dream world who would know about opening portals to the real world, even though it’s highly dangerous and prohibited, but there’s not many who can anyway.

I hope this answers your question!

Dear Nate, what’s your favorite thing to eat?
By: D. Licious

Hi D! Oh boy, food! Well, I am a bit of a picky eater, so let me try to think as I explain.

There are some creatures who like eating normal human food like pizza, ramen, tacos, or apples. Some creatures have other appetites like eyeballs, slime, motor oil, or even humans!

I for one do not like eating any of those things. Although, one time I did try out a strange beverage and well, let’s just say that Lucid had to come and pick me up.  Speaking of him, creatures also have specific times they eat. Some can go a human week without eating, some a month, and some years! I, for example, can last one month between meals, while Lucid lasts three months! Fig can last about half a year, and Telly, well, I’m not sure if they even eat at all!

So back to your question, I really enjoy eating human food. So many types of food they make, but to be honest, since I got a bit of a sweet tooth, I really like sundaes! I don’t mind the flavor that you give me, but sundaes have never let me down! It’s why I miss the Diner Dimension, because their sundaes were always so good! Strawberry sundaes with hot fudge are always a real treat. Of course, I can always get sundaes elsewhere, but they don’t make them like they did in the diner…

There are many types of food in the dream world, and maybe I’m not like the other entities who eat eyeballs or devour trash, but sundaes are the best! It’s the best thing humans created that is edible for a dream demon like me!

Upcoming Events:

Now- Corn Maze 2021: Time to venture into Cal’s maze! The fog is thick, so don’t get lost now.

Now- Mall Dimension opens: Shop ‘til you drop! There’s retailers and outlets to shop at, but they’re all closed… Are we here after hours, or did everyone quit?

October 7- Beach Dimension Returns: I always heard tales of the missing lighthouse keeper… I never know what happened to him.

October 14- Halloween Party construction: It’s almost time to celebrate the spookiest party of the year…