THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, December 23, 2021
** SPECIAL EDITION **
Edition 17
DREAM WORLD READY FOR SANTA’S VISIT, CHRISTMAS TIME
By: Porter
Dream world citizens are preparing for the arrival of a particular man coming soon. Santa Claus is just about to depart from the Pole and deliver presents across the dream world, and many are already prepared for such a possible arrival. I asked several citizens what their wish for Christmas is this year:
Nate: My wish for Christmas this year? I have a few but one of them I’ll say is that I wish for ongoing peace in the dream world. There’s nothing like peace and quiet!
Figment: Wish?! Ahh, well! I wish for people to stop by more often and talk to me! I love making friends! I want to make more friends, but I wish for them to stop by more!
Telly: My wish for this year is for another television to add to my home! I think I want a much older one…antique, yes! An antique television! More screens for more shows! Wonderful!
Cal: I wish for a bigger pumpkin next year! And for people to stop trespassing on my property unwanted!
Almoral: Oh I love making wishes! I really want this exclusive glow in the dark green skull I saw in the Market. I did not have enough money for it, but it would look so cool in my mansion! If not that, then of course, I wish for Lucid. I want him.
Epsilon: I wish for a new collar next year. The one that I have now is getting a little tight, so a new one would be something I can look forward to putting on every day knowing it won’t be a bother.
Rainier: I wish people would stop asking me if they’ve been good or bad…sheesh!
From everyone here at the Subliminal Tribune, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! May your wishes come true, and may your days be brighter.
GUIDE TO VISITING THE POLE HEADQUARTERS
By: Rainier
Greetings Tribune readers! Rainier here once again to lay out a guide for those who are visiting the Pole’s headquarters.
There are many offices and rooms in the HQ, but don’t get lost! It can be a maze trying to walk around, but there are always people around to help out! Here are some of the offices or rooms you might stumble upon and what they’re for:
Post Tracking: This office is reserved for anything relating to the postal service. Whether it be letters, packages, cards, you name it, it all gets processed through here. This office works with the DPDS to help ensure any Christmas related postal material gets to its destination on time.
Records: This office keeps files of everyone in the dream world. The files keep track of a person’s status each year since they are born, mostly consisting of whether they've been good or bad. While we cannot disclose your status for the current year, we can report past years for yourself, but we can’t let you see another person’s, unless you have a referral.
Reindeer Affairs: This office is reserved for matters about the reindeer. Unless you’re one of the trainers who works with them, you probably won’t be in this office anyway.
Gift Wrapping Assembly: This room is big! It’s where the helpers are to wrap all the presents before Christmas Eve. Because gift wrapping begins in Mid-November, this room is empty for most of the year, unless it is being cleaned and the machines are given routine inspections to ensure they are still okay to use.
Christmas Affairs: This is my office! I deal with essentially everything and everyone in here. I’m basically everyone’s boss, except the big man himself, and all matters are typically run through me first or if someone needs assistance. It might be a little cluttered with files everywhere, but I try to keep things organized! “The List” is not located in here, so please do not try to coerce me to tell you more about it or what side you’re on.
There are way more rooms and offices to check out, but keep in mind that you will be seated in the waiting room until someone can come escort you to the office or room you are looking for. Please do not wander off and follow the rules of the Pole! We want everyone to enjoy their experience to the best they can. We hope you find everything you’re looking for!
Q/A: Ask Rainier
Dear Rainier, what do you do when Christmas time is over?
By: Boe Ring
Hi Boe! Even when it’s not Christmas time, my job is still reserved for the holiday itself. During the off season period, we here at Pole still keep track of everyone’s behavior during the year. We also send out operatives in disguise to go around and gather intelligence such as behavior, people’s wishes, etc. While things are quiet at the Pole, I’m still around to keep track of such offseason duties, though work is less heavy. I’m also in touch with the other holiday head chiefs in case they need help from the Pole with anything!
Dear Rainier, what do naughty people end up getting anyway?
By: Ivy Bin Badd
Hello Ivy! As you know, good people receive their Christmas wishes for the year, or at least the more acceptable wishes. Those who end up on the bad side of the list are still given something, though, but it’s not coal! They are instead given a note explaining that they are not receiving anything this year, reasoning as to why, and some advice for next year.
Dear Rainier, what determines the seasons in the dream world?
By: Cecil Nul
Hi Cecil! This question is not too far up my knowledge, but from what I know, seasons in the dream world are aligned with the real world. Because a large majority of the human population live in the Northern Hemisphere, whatever season it is there, will affect it here in the dream world. So while it may be summer in the Southern Hemisphere, it’s winter in the dream world because more people live in the North!
Dear Rainier, can animals get presents too?
By: Kay Nine
Hi Kay! Animals is a broad term, but if you’re talking about pets, then yes they can. Funny enough, pets are excluded from “The List” unlike everyone else. We want our companions to feel special!
Dear Rainier, what does Santa do when it’s not Christmas time?
By: Layla Zenus
Hello Layla! Santa is always up to something, believe it or not. During the offseason period, he is often seen around the Pole making sure things are going well, or he is out in disguise in the dream world meeting new and familiar people while also keeping track of others’ behavior. Again, be nice to everyone you meet…you never know who it could be!
Dear Rainier, can anyone work in the Pole?
By: Lukin Forjob
Hi Lukin! Yes, anyone is eligible to work here at the Pole, if they have never committed a crime before. Training can take a while though. You’ll have to be trained efficiently to get whatever position is open, and sometimes it includes being able to wrap gifts in a certain amount of time, working with reindeer, learning how to use magic properly, gathering intel accurately, keeping track of files, being organized…the list goes on. So while anyone can apply if a position is open, you may not pass the first time, but you’re welcome to keep trying and applying!
Dear Rainier, will it ever be possible for those who have done a crime to get off the naughty list?
By: Louis Sidd
Hello Louis! It always hurts to say that those who committed a crime cannot get a gift no matter what. Such a person would have to get deregistered as a criminal first, but it’s tough. The Council of the dream world needs to approve of such a thing first, but depending on whatever that person did, it can be very, very hard to get off the naughty list. I get it is unfortunate, but rules are rules. Perhaps one day there will be reform that can change this rule.
Upcoming Events:
Now- Pole HQ access: You’ve already been warned but if you’re going to waste your time and bug Rainier to tell you information he said you won’t get, then go ahead but it’s no use!
Now- Dinner dimension returns: Bon appetit! The Dinner dimension returns once more, just in time for Christmas!
December 30- New Year’s Party 2021: What better way to say goodbye to 2021 than to go revisit it? Yeah I know, some of us didn’t have a good time, but hold on to those memories, they will hold on to you…
December 30- Birthday Party: A certain dream demon is turning another year older, but unfortunately, it seems we all lost track of his exact age but I guess we can still throw him a birthday party, right?