THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, April 7, 2022

Edition 32

BOX DIMENSION LEAK PATCHED, WEIRDNESS SLOWLY SUBSIDES

By: Porter

The Dimension Protection Force is confirming that the leak originating from the Box dimension has been successfully patched.

The effort, led by DPF agents Hallucinate and M3-0W, have told the agency that the dimension has returned to normal and that nothing else came of it.

“Yep! Cleaning up the mess that it was leaving behind and taking out all of the items that didn’t belong in the Box dimension- the items lost from dimensions in the dream world- seemed to fix the problem!” Nate said, “We didn’t see anything else after that…the Box dimension is in tip-top shape!”

“The excess waste was properly disposed of,” M3-0W said, “We don’t expect the Box dimension to leak again for a while…perhaps ever again.”

Since the patch, dimensions across the dream world are slowly getting back to normal. While things are getting back to normal, it will still take another week for everything to settle down. Purple puddles are still being cleaned up, and the Dimension Disease Control and Protection is advising to avoid coming into contact with these puddles. 

Despite the weirdness slowly subsiding, some in the dream world are wondering if it could ever happen again, and what exactly caused this to happen. The DPF is not stating the cause of the leak or whether or not it could happen again in the future, but they are actively investigating it.

This incident is bringing back concerns with other incidents that have occurred this year, and many are wondering if they are connected in some way, shape, or form. While the DPF is not disclosing much details to the public, they hope to come to a conclusion soon.

Those traveling through the dream world are still being asked to use caution when doing so. Dimensions should be restored back to normal by next week, with all missing items returned to their correct places.

AN INTRODUCTION TO M3-0W, A ROBOTIC CAT

By: M3-0W

Hello there! Allow me to introduce myself:

My name is M3-0W and I am a robotic cat that lives in the dream world. My backstory is pretty straight forward, but I will explain to you how I came to be.

Around four decades ago, an inventor built me as one of her final projects. She knew her time here in the dream world was limited and coming to an end, and she wanted to leave in peace knowing that at least one of her final inventions would be successful and live longer than she would.

When I came into the world, I was a great success. She had given me the name M3-0W and I was the first robotic cat in the dream world. I am capable of doing many things a normal cat can do, but I also specialize in other things that cats can’t do- or even regular people. I can stand upright and perform many tasks. My memory drive is always kept up to date, even if she is no longer around.

Because she eventually found peace, I was left alone to tend to myself, but I was not afraid- in fact, I do not necessarily feel emotions like most others do. I simply decided to go out and venture into the dream world, looking to progress my life in some way.

I ended up becoming a nomad- someone who wanders from place to place, with no real home. My travels through the dream world were long, but were not in vain. I managed to gain new knowledge to understand how the dream world works and with great memory, I was able to pinpoint dimensions without needing assistance or a real map.

Eventually, I bumped into a curious DPF officer who was patrolling a dimension and asked me who I was and where I was heading. I had told them my entire story and they were quite impressed with my abilities and talents. They ended up giving me a recruitment card and referral to join the agency. I had decided that this was where my life would be heading now: as a DPF agent.

Thus, I am here now. I am one of the agents that focus on responding to various tasks, particularly going to and from dimensions delivering intelligence, goods, or tools to other agents or ordinary people. Essentially, I run *very important* errands.

I hope that clears any life questions out of the way. I look forward to continuing working hard!

Q/A: Ask Epsilon

Dear Epsilon, can you explain the idea of immortality?
By: Nev R. Dine

Hello Nev. Immortality is not something that is difficult to understand, however, it is one of those topics that has its misconceptions if you don’t know the real definition of it.

Immortality is the ability to be able to live on forever, in simple terms, you will never die and have an endless life. There are entities and creatures in the dream world that are immortal and have lived for millennia after millennia and no matter what, are still alive to this day.

The biggest misconception of immortality is living a long life. Let’s get this straight: a grand majority of us in the dream world already live “long” lives, at least what is considered to be “long” by humans. While there is no real explanation to why we live longer, it’s theorized that time in the dream world has an effect on our bodies that causes it to “stretch” out our lifespans. Combine that with medicinal treatments, elixirs, potions, and a lot of us can live well over a hundred years old.

Just because you’re hundreds of years old doesn’t automatically mean you’re immortal. You can be 10,000 years old, but if you were to suffer an accident or some sort of fatal mistake, then you would die and that’s the end of that. Age does not equal immortality. If you were to suffer an accident or fatal event but do not end up dead, then you are immortal. No matter what happens to you, no matter how bad or brutal, you simply come back as if nothing happened. You are either born immortal or it is gifted to you.

The Council of the dream world is able to “gift” eternal life to anyone. In fact, all council members are given immortality if they do not have it already, for obvious governing reasons. Gaining eternal life from them is not at all easy though, and would require you to have done something incredibly worthy of their acknowledgement, and that’s rare. There are other ways in the dream world to achieve immortality, but they are either very risky, sketchy, or not worth your time.

Immortality can be a reward or a punishment depending on the person who has it. There are stories of those who live eternal, happy lives, as well as there are people who suffer with the idea of losing those around them while they continue to live on. Immortality is a strange power to hold…I think I will stick with being mortal and just try to live as long as I can.

Dear Epsilon, do you like eating sushi?
By: Sue Xi

Hello Sue. Yes, I do enjoy eating sushi. I don’t eat it often, but it’s not something I would pass.

Dear Epsilon, does your eyesight ever get frustrating to deal with?
By: I. Ware

Hello I. Over the years, my eyesight has gotten poorer, and there are times where I struggle with certain activities. My glasses have to be adjusted, or changed every so often, to accommodate my declining vision. I’m just lucky I have Dylan around to help me with certain tasks when I can’t.

Hey Epsilon, can I borrow your old cat collar? It's for…science…
By: Almoral

Uh, well I suppose you can borrow my old one. I’m not even going to ask what you’re going to use it for, but at least try to not damage it. It was expensive after all.

Dear Epsilon, do you enjoy the rain?
By: Rayne E. Skai

Hello Rayne. Rain is lovely because it helps me fall asleep and it also helps me focus whenever I am painting. Of course, I don’t like getting caught out in the rain, and I also do not like thunderstorms. Lightning and thunder don’t necessarily scare me, but I just find it annoying to deal with, especially when I’m trying to focus or go to sleep.

Upcoming Events:

Now- April Fool’s Party continues:  Things should get back to normal in a week…and perhaps, less weird than normal.

Now- Beach dimension returns: The Beach returns in time for spring. Say, were those lights always on by the house on the cliff?

April 14- Easter event: A small event with a lot of pastel colors!

April 14- Portal 3 opens: The Box Artifact is about to come in handy for those who managed to obtain it. Do not open the box.