THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, December 8, 2022

Edition 67

RUMOURS OF AN UPCOMING BAD HOLIDAY LOOK WORRISOME

By: Porter

Following the news that Rainier was temporarily pausing all appointments to the Pole HQ until further notice, there’s been unconfirmed reports revolving around the infamous “List” that is used to monitor people’s behaviour throughout the year in the dream world.

The Tribune has obtained a leak from an anonymous source at the Pole HQ which states that many were caught off guard after a dramatic uptick in naughty behaviour which is causing the List to flood with many switching over to the “bad” side.

It’s not unusual for someone to switch from either side of the List, but what’s unusual is that many are appearing on the naughty list so close to Christmas and at a very unprecedented rate.

If the leak and rumours are true, Rainier, Secretary of Christmas Affairs, has yet to confirm them.

The secretary only announced that any appointments that were booked to the Pole HQ are on hold until further notice, but perhaps this was done to not let out the news that many people are ending up on the naughty list for whatever reason until they figure out a solution.

The Tribune has reached out to the DPF if there have been any unusual uptick in residents misbehaving and being detained, but a spokesperson reached back to us and said there was nothing out of the ordinary in recent days or weeks.

“Besides NEAP-1, which is now a thing of the past, we haven’t been detaining people for misbehaving and causing incidents at an ‘unusual’ rate,” the spokesperson says, “Things look pretty normal as far as we know with nothing weird to report on our end.”

It’s not known what exactly is causing this strange influx of people on the bad side of the List, but one can only hope that the rumour is not true. If so, it could be a dark and cold holiday season for some- perhaps many, considering we do not know the extent of just how many people are flooding the naughty list.

The Tribune also reached out to the Pole HQ for comment, but received no response as of far. In the meantime, you can visit the Pole now, but don’t expect to get assistance at the Pole HQ.

DIMENSIONS PREPARE AHEAD OF THE HOLIDAYS

By: Arial

Several dimensions are beginning to prepare for the upcoming holidays towards the end of the month.

Boxes, crates, and other construction props have been seen in various dimensions in recent days. As the holidays approach, the residents and workers of some dimensions enjoy putting up lights and decorations.

“Putting up decorations is a part of the tradition for the holidays,” a local construction worker tells me, “It’s what makes the season feel…merry!”

“The Club is a winter wonderland during the holidays!” DJ Techno says, “If you ever get a chance to come down to the Club in December, do so! It’s some pretty chill- no pun intended- stuff going on here!”

“Do you like coffee? Tea? Cookies? Croissants? Well whatever it is, you can come down to the Cafe during the holiday season,” Artisan, a barista at the Cafe says, “We got a warm fireplace to keep you comfy. Not to mention all the decorations we put up, oh it’s very nice.”

“I believe the Cinema is going to be screening holiday movies through the end of the year,” a local film lover tells me, “If so, I hope they’re screening Rudolph. It’s such a classic!”

“Some people like it cold during the holidays, but what about us warm types?” a local tourist says, “The Island during the holiday season is so relaxing. Nothing beats a tropical holiday vacation!”

Apart from decorations, various outdoor dimensions will also begin to see snow and ice soon. The DWPS is expecting this to occur within a week’s time, thus issuing advisories ahead of time.

“Winter is about to come BIG time to the dream world for a lot of us,” Cirrus, senior meteorologist tells me, “Just in time when all the decorations should finish being put up for all the festivities soon. It’s perfect timing!”

The holiday season is upon us in the dimensions of the dream world. It is expected to be one week before all the construction is finished in numerous areas and just in time for the snowfall.

Q/A: Ask Lucid

Dear Lucid, what’s your favorite hobby?

By: Pas Stime

Greetings Pas. I would say that my favorite hobby is reading. There is nothing more enjoyable than sitting down and reading a book. As they say, reading is fundamental.

Dear Lucid, do your horns really emit sonar?

By: Notta Bat 

Hello Notta. My horns emit a very faint frequency that allows me to sense my surroundings. Being blindfolded restricts my vision, but my horns make it easier for me to travel around and let me know if I am going to bump into something or someone.

Dear Lucid, which dimension is your favorite and why?

By: Rue M.

Greetings Rue. There are countless dimensions in the dream world that exist, so it is hard to exactly pick one for a favorite. I would say that The Library dimension is my favorite one. There is nothing more peaceful than to sit in there and read books for hours on end. 

Dear Lucid, are you immortal?

By: Nev Dye

Greetings Nev. I have lived a very long life at this point, in fact, I have lost track of my real age, sadly. I am well over 5,500 years old though. Despite this long life, I am still subject to death. I simply do not know when my time will come, but when it does, I can say that I lived a very worthwhile life. My only regret would have been to not have gotten my redemption. 

Dear Lucid, how many languages do you speak?

By: Diah Lekt

Greetings Diah. I am fluent in 85 human languages, and around 192 dream world dialects. Reading books over the years has helped me learn many languages to speak. 

Dear Lucid, what’s that black trident you always carry around with you?

By: D. Fenz 

Greetings D. The black trident you see me carrying around was actually given to me when I was in the DPF. All DPF agents own some sort of weapon to defend themselves with. Mine just so happened to be a trident. Of course, my DPF days are over, but I still keep my trident with me. 

Dear Lucid, do you think this Christmas is going to be okay?

By: G. Rynch

Hello G. I have heard a recent rumor from a friend that a lot of people are suddenly ending up on the Pole’s naughty list for some unknown reason. If we take into account everything that happened this year, it would not be surprising if this is the final weird anomaly that 2022 has to offer for the dream world. If the trend continues, who is to say that everyone will end up on the naughty list this year? If that is the case, then I am afraid there will be no Christmas to observe this year in the dream world. I believe not even the power that Rainier holds can reverse such a large-scale negative Christmas spirit. Hmm…I suppose there is one solution to overcome this, however, not only would it require a lot of effort, but it is not something I can tell you so easily. It is something that will hopefully come to you naturally, but you will find out sooner or later.

Upcoming Events:

Now- New seasonal dimension opens: Brr, it’s cold outside. Why not head inside for some hot chocolate?

Now- Lucid returns: He’s back in his realm through the end of the year. I wonder if he has any plans with you-know-who for Christmas and New Year’s…

December 15- Holiday Party 2022: The jolliest party of the year is about to be…bad.

December 22- New story quest: T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the Pole, not a creature was working, because it looks like Christmas is what someone stole!