THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE

Thursday, August 3, 2023

Edition 101

MISSING BOOKS RETURN UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES 

By: Porter

In a remarkable, yet peculiar, discovery late last night, books that were stolen from the Grand Library have been returned.

DPF patrol officers received a tip about suspicious crates that appeared sometime overnight and immediately initiated an inspection of the crates' contents. Upon opening them, they found the crates filled with books- the same books that were stolen a month ago.

"It's a rather remarkable discovery. We looked through the crates and all missing books have been accounted for," DPU Chief Matías says, "We had already ordered books to be copied and distributed, but it would've taken a few weeks to successfully fulfil it. It appears now we don't have to wait."

The Grand Library was also not the only place to find itself with crates full of books. Other public areas where books were stolen are seeing crates pop up as well, such as the Book room in the Cafe dimension. 

"I didn't see anyone bring crates upstairs during the time I was here," Artisan of the Cafe says, "It truly is a work of a miracle…"

The DPF is currently unsure how these crates appeared out of nowhere, but it doesn't seem to be a change of heart.

"We determined that local fugitive, Francis, did not have a change of heart in returning the books," chief Matías explains, "We found the crates to have been handled by supernatural forces- that is to say- it was not handled by anyone who is human, which Francis is."

After having the DPF's forensics team review the crates, they did not find any fingerprints, but they did find faint traces of energy that were left behind.

"The DFCU found that faint traces of demonic energy were detected around the crates," chief Matías says, "All living beings have different forms of energy and can leave traces of it unwillingly in different areas. The DFCU determined it was energy left behind by a dream demon, but unfortunately, we cannot identify anyone in particular since energy traces are untraceable to specific people."

Immediately, residents around the dream world were amused, but puzzled with how the crates mysteriously popped up and who exactly left them behind. 

"I'm glad the books are back," Master Librarian Akilah tells me, "But I would like to know who saved them and brought them back to their rightful home. If the person who did it would like to show themselves, I would personally and gratefully thank them."

"I'm happy that all of the stolen books are back," Eliazar, head instructor of the recruit unit of the DPF'S ROTU says, "Finn was going on and on about trying to convince Director Ferekides to go and save the books. He was determined, but it got annoying having to hear him blabber about it."

"It was Lucid!!!" local necromancer Almoral exclaimed to me, "Dream demon traces…books…it was Lucid!! See!! He's not a bad person! He got the books back! It had to be him!!!" 

Rumours had begun to spread around that perhaps DIA Chief Daiki was responsible for the books returning, but he quickly shut down those rumors.

"Yes, I am indeed a dream demon, but I am not responsible for those books returning to their rightful places," he says, "Must I remind everyone that the DPF voted 5-2 to not go in and retrieve those books. I voted 'NO' on that vote."

The DPF is now offering 60,000 morphs as a reward to the person or persons who helped bring the books back.

"If you are reading this message and are the person or persons who brought back the books, please do speak up. If you know someone or have tips on a possible suspect for said actions, please speak up as well," DPF Director Ferekides says, "We most certainly want to show our gratitude, so please, come forward."

The books will now slowly be put back into place over the next week or so. If you have any information or tips on anyone who could've done this, please report it to the DPF by dialling *1 or filing a report on their website.

DWPS EXPECTS TROPICAL SYSTEM TO FORM SOON 

By: Roman

Wind and rain have begun being reported at the Beach dimension, prompting the DWPS to issue a tropical cyclone watch.

For the last few weeks or so, the weather service has been monitoring a tropical anomaly in the Beach that had the signs of being something meteorological. Now, stormy weather at the Beach is a sign that something stronger is to come.

Tropical cyclones are not rare in the summer, much less at the Beach. However, when they form, these dimensions have to be evacuated a week prior and eventually be temporarily shut down.

"We have designated this disturbance as 'Tropical Cyclone A23' - the first tropical system of 2023," Cirrus of the DWPS says, "Advisories have been issued accordingly, and we are asking people at the Beach to leave as soon as possible before the storm begins to pick up more."

The DWPS expects this disturbance to gain strength next week, with some forecasts predicting it to be intense.

"The biggest concerns about this system is not just the rain and wind, but the storm surge that come with systems like these," Cirrus explains, "Storm surge is dangerous and can cause significant damage and loss of life. Do not take this storm lightly!"

Flags have been placed at the Beach to signify the upcoming storm and some tourists are starting to wrap things up.

"All this rain and wind…it's haunting!" one beachgoer says, "We'll be packing our bags and getting out of here!"

"It's kind of eerie being out here as the storm is just starting to pick up," another beachgoer tells me, "Let's just hope everything ends up okay after it's gone!" 

The DPF is helping with evacuation orders and will shut down the dimension once everyone is out and the dimension is cleared.

"We'll have patrol officers close the dimension and block all paths in and out of the Beach so no one gets in," a DPF spokesperson says, "This is a serious situation- don't wait, evacuate!"

The DWPS will continue to monitor this system in the coming days and weeks. For more information, you can visit their website or your local forecasting office.

Q/A: Ask the main cast

What's something people might not know about you?

Nate: Um…well, I guess people don't really know that I can also speak German, Romanian and Greek! I have also been learning Japanese, but it's not quite there yet! 

Fig: People have never seen what my face looks like under my hood! I like keeping it that way for mystery!

Telly: I used to work at DPEC at one point! I enjoyed my time there, but eventually left to be on my own!

Cal: Hm, I guess people don't really know that my pumpkin head is very much real! It ain't no mask!

Almoral: Hehe, well…there's ONE thing people do not know about me…but let's not attract the authorities, heh. I guess another thing people don't know about me is that I think Lucid is the coolest person ever! He's the best! Hahaha! Huh? You already knew that? But how!?

Porter:  A lot of people don't know that Porter isn't actually my real name. You'd be surprised when I tell people that it isn't and they look surprised! My real name…I left it in the past.

Epsilon: People don't know that I am pretty skilled in mathematics and actually enjoy solving math problems. Being homeschooled, my parents made us do a lot of lessons over and over again until we understood what we were taught. Despite their attitudes, I think it paid off.

Rainier: I do indeed have a second favorite holiday! I consider Valentine's Day as my second favorite holiday ever! It will never compare to Christmas though, wink wink!

Cirrus: I'm able to sense meteorological changes in the air similar to how some animals also sense these changes. It's good when I'm out in the field and get a heads up if it's about to rain or likewise!

Dylan: I can do some pretty good magic tricks! Of course, not actual magic, but like magician fake magic! Pull a rabbit out of a hat? No no, how about putting a hat on a rabbit and watching him do tricks! Shazam!

Sylveran: Hmph, I am actually not a bad person like most people perceive me to be.

M3-0W: I have a built-in dictionary that is able to provide you with a definition for almost every word! Just ask me the definition of a word and I may have a definition for you on the spot!

Willy: I can play the flute pretty well! I learned when I was growing up and am still learning to this day, but I can play it! Would you like to hear a tune or two?

Ophelia: I am a bit scared of snakes, but do not tell anyone that. I promise you won't hear the last of me if you go out and tell others.

Finnegan: I'm able to speak French, albeit it's that Canadian type of French so it's a little weird, but still understandable! I prefer speaking either English or French, so don't be afraid to ask me a question in either language!

Kodia: Contrary to belief about bears, I actually am not a big fan of honey. I mean yeah it's sweet, but it's okay. Just not my type it seems!

Lucid:  I have been told that I have a pretty good voice for singing. I do not sing often, much less nowadays, but that is what I have been told by friends in the past. And no, I do not want to sing for you right now…

Would you want to be a part of the Council if you ever had the opportunity?

Nate: Um…I'm gonna say pass. I know they have a lot of work going on, and I'm already pretty stressed as is…

Fig: No thanks chief! I don't ever wanna leave the Backrooms! I like it here!

Telly: Maybe I would give it a try to see what it's like! They could surely use a television person up there!

Cal: Heck no! I ain't ever leaving my farm!

Almoral: Yes! But only to pardon Lucid! Once that happens, I'm out of there! Huh? You mean…we have to vote on his pardon!? Booo! Everyone but me is going to vote to not pardon him…not fair! 

Porter: The Council is very powerful, but I enjoy my job as a newspaper reporter and journalist for the Subliminal Tribune. I will pass!

Epsilon: No, because I'd have to get immortality and I don't want that at all. Big pass.

Rainier: Me? On the Council? I already got a lot on my hands here at the Pole and would never leave this job! Sorry, but I'm saying no!

Cirrus: It is indeed a very important and work heavy job, but I could never leave my job here at the DWPS! I will say no, but it would be interesting nonetheless!

Dylan: Being on the Council sounds so boring… Making rules…decisions…and other affairs. Boring! I'd rather be a postal delivery worker than on the Council!

Sylveran: Tch, they didn't ask me then, why bother now if I ever got the chance? Hard no.

M3-0W: Maybe so! Having a robot on the Council would be a first and it wouldn't be too bad of a look on them. Why not!

Willy: I'm still too small to understand how the dream world works…and being on the Council sounds so hard! Sorry but I wouldn't want to! 

Ophelia: Perhaps after getting to be chief for at least a hundred years, I can take that offer up. It would be a pretty good milestone on my resumé.

Finnegan: Nuh uh, I can't! I love being the leader of this team too much to take up an opportunity to be on the Council! After all, they also did vote 4-3 for me to get this job… Hahaha, it was the closest vote ever for chief! I…wouldn't wanna be near them…

Kodia: Never! Having to be up there away from the trees and bushes…and nature! My home is out here, not up there! I'd be surprised if they ever decided I was worthy enough to be there, but I'd humbly pass!

Lucid: Me? On the Council of the dream world? Ha…well, let us say that, hypothetically, I was to be asked to be on the Council of the dream world…what would that even look like? To be amongst the same members who voted to seal me away so many years ago would be…rather bizarre. I do not even know of a situation where they would reach out to me now and ask to join them. Hm, let alone think of a scenario where they ever pardon me…now that is something I wish for instead and not an invite. Beggars cannot be choosers…

Upcoming Events:

Now- Books return: Looks like crates of missing books are appearing in places where they were originally stolen! But, who brought them back!?

August 10- Biz Mart reopens: Some hefty renovation has been going down at the mart, and you're invited next week to check it out!

August 10- Beach dimension closes: Tropical Cyclone A23 is beginning to stir up trouble at the Beach! It will close next week as it passes!

August 10- Additional in-game changes : Besides the mart getting renovated, some other things are looking to be changed or updated. Details to come!