THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, September 7, 2023
Edition 106
AUTUMN IS BACK, CAL’S PUMPKINS ARE TOO
By: Roman
Autumn has officially made its way back into the dream world, but a certain dimension has as well.
The Patch dimension has returned following a previous season that didn’t go too well. Cal, the farmer in charge of his pumpkin patch, is claiming there aren’t any tricks this year.
As a refresher, a parasitic disease spread rampant throughout the dream world last year that was turning hosts into “zombie” like people. The main source of the outbreak was linked back to infected pumpkin pies that Cal was selling. Unbeknownst to Cal, these pies that were sold to him to later resell were infected with the parasite which would later infect hundreds of thousands.
Fortunately, these pies are not being sold this year. In fact, Cal is selling his fresh grown pumpkins that come straight from his patch. While Cal claims he is selling these pumpkins, he is actually giving them away for free as an apology for what occurred last year.
“What happened last year wasn’t my fault! But I feel dead guilt over it. I hope folks come to visit and take some of my pumpkins with ‘em!” Cal says, “I grew these all year waiting for autumn to swing on back, so you better take ‘em!”
The Patch dimension is a seasonal dimension that only appears during the autumn season in the dream world. It sees decent traffic during the season as people from around the dream world come to visit for Cal’s renowned pumpkins.
“I’m definitely taking a few with me when I go,” a local chef tells me, “It’s pumpkin pie season! The people are gonna love these!”
“These pumpkins will be good to make pie…but let’s hope they aren’t infected either,” a local tourist says, “Hmm, should I take some then? I’m skeptical…”
Cal has voluntarily invited the Dimension Disease Control and Protection to conduct an inspection on his pumpkins to determine their legitimacy. He claims his pumpkins are clean, fresh, and parasite-free.
“Those agents can come and prove me right!” he exclaims, “If they give the green light, then you’ll see these are the real deal!”
DDCP Chief Ophelia has agreed to come down soon herself to inspect the pumpkins at the Patch. In the meantime, the Patch is open for business! It’ll be available to visit from now until the end of the autumn season.
ANOTHER FASHION SHOW IN THE WORKS
By: Oswald
Fashionistas assemble! There’s another fashion show coming!
Announced earlier this week, a local group of fashionistas declared that another fashion show would be coming soon. This is the same group that got together and organized a fashion show event last February. That event proved to be a success and now they want a second event to host!
Rouge, a local fashion designer, is one of the main coordinators for the event once again. The fashion designer says the event will run for only one week once again, but there are new themes mixed in with some previous ones.
“We wanted to incorporate new themes into this event while also keeping some old ones,” Rouge says, “Hopefully this will inspire some new outfit ideas, especially for the new themes!”
Rouge has revealed the themes for this fashion show. They are listed below:
September 14: Night of the unliving (Zombie theme)
September 15: Once upon a time (Fantasy theme)
September 16: Forces of nature (Elements theme)
September 17: It’s a strange, strange, strange world (Weird/dreamcore)
September 18: Arrrrrrg you ready?! (Pirate theme)
September 19: Step right up! (Circus theme)
September 20: Me, myself, and I (Free day theme)
Rouge hopes that people will come out to participate just like they did during the first fashion show.
“I’m looking to see more people show up in style!” they exclaim, “Don’t be shy! Dress up and give us your best looks! I hope these themes are exciting to people!”
The fashion show will run from September 14 through September 21. It will once again be held in the Cafe’s upstairs book room. For more information, contact Rouge or the Cafe dimension for more details.
Q/A: Ask Telly
Dear Telly, how old are you turning this year?
By: Gatin Ohldur
Greetings Gatin! I am turning 96 years old! I am yet another year closer to turning a full one hundred! I still feel young though, don’t get me wrong!
Dear Telly, what’s your favorite food?
By: E. Thur
Greetings E. Funny question actually, and a bit amusing! I don’t have a mouth for eating so I can’t answer your question! As a television entity, we don’t consume actual food, but instead we base our diet on watts- which is electricity! The more watts we consume, the longer we can stay up and about. Isn’t that just fascinating?!
Dear Telly, are you a part of any organization?
By: Emmy P. Lloyd
Salutations Emmy! Around thirty years ago, I was actually working a job over at DPEC. My expertise in electricity was put to good use, but alas! I decided to quit and maintain my own dimension full of televisions! It’s quite fun there, oh yes it is, but I’m not a part of any organization now. Perhaps I may go back to working at DPEC soon…stay tuned!
Dear Telly, can I touch your head?
By: Moni Tor
Hello Moni! I’ve been asked on a few occasions if people can touch my monitor head, and to that I say, no! My monitor needs to be spot free of any smudges and clean at all costs! No offense to anyone else, but it is very strange and surpasses my boundaries!
Dear Telly, would you own any pets?
By: Doug Lover
Greetings Doug! I have always wanted to own a cat! I think cats are very curious and cute creatures that make the world a better place! I would love to own one, but I’m not sure what kind. I’ll have to do my research before finding a specific breed…I shall let you know what comes of it and if I decide to get a cat for sure!
Dear Telly, how can you channel surf?
By: Travis L.
Salutations Travis! Channel surfing is a very entertaining pass-time! I am only able to do it by television, which also means that I can only visit dimensions that have a television in them. For television entities, it’s quite simple really. Our bodies consist of the same material that television monitors do, so we can simply squeeze ourselves in them and enter the world of the television!
It’s hard for ordinary people to do it, but you can always learn how to! But I must warn you if you plan on doing it unsupervised because it could scramble your molecules! If you’re up for it, I can take you along with me since I’m an expert at this. It’ll be a jolly good show!
Dear Telly, what is your opinion of Lucid?
By: O. Pina
Greetings O! Hmph! That no good dream demon is always up to no good! To think that he had the audacity to break the main rule of the dream world and then somehow manage to escape his sentencing and is now roaming around all willy-nilly?! If you ask me, Lucid should go back and finish his time. He was quite aware of the rules and still got caught red-handed. Rules are rules! Hmph…I am not sure if I will ever get along with that troublesome dream demon. Nate still has feelings for him, but I will not judge him. Nate is not Lucid, and Nate hasn’t broken any rule. The DPF will probably catch him again someday- not that I’m advocating for it or anything!
Upcoming Events:
Now- Birthday Party: Even televisions have birthdays! Telly is celebrating another year of existence! Come join them in the Party dimension for a jolly good show!
Now- Seasonal dimensions return: Autumn has arrived and it’s brought back both the Patch and Fair dimensions. Caramel apples, anyone?
September 14- Fashion Show: Lights, cameras, style! Give us your best outfits and show us what you got! Prove it to everyone that you never go out of style.
September 21- Corn Maze 2023: Cal’s strange maze of corn returns for a third year in a row. I’m sure this year he’ll let us go in without trouble?