THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, November 23, 2023
** SPECIAL EDITION **
Edition 117
PARLOR DIMENSION CELEBRATES 10 YEARS
By: Porter
You’ve been invited…to visit the Parlor dimension and partake in the celebration!
The Parlor dimension has officially turned 10 years old this week. It first appeared in the dream world in 2013 and has been serving pizzas to the public ever since. The Parlor has been linked back to an online game from the real world which isn’t the first time that a dimension has been linked to a non-physical real world location. In any case, a celebration is currently going down at the Parlor!
Brie, a chef at the Parlor, helped organise the event with other fellow coworkers. A table has been set up featuring many boxes of pizza, but Brie says that there’s more where that came from.
“Oh yeah, these boxes are here for the public to come and get a slice or two,” Brie says, “But don’t worry! We got our other chefs in the kitchen cooking up more pizzas. There’s more where those came from!”
While the Parlor dimension is offering pizza during the event, the pizzas are actually surprising to some.
“Candy pizzas?!” one customer exclaimed, “Uh…huh?!”
“I came for pepperoni pizza! What’s this?” another customer said.
“I don’t mind candy pizzas! They’re so yummy!” one giddy customer said.
Apparently, the Parlor is only making their rare dish, candy pizza, for the event. While some were confused, Brie clarified that something occurred when an order was placed last week.
“We placed a big order for pizza related ingredients for the event,” she explains, “Cheese, pizza sauce, veggies, pepperoni, sausage…you know, typical pizza ingredients? Something happened with the order and we ended up getting a LOAD of candy pizza ingredients. What the heck?!”
Despite the wrong order, the Parlor will have to use up those ingredients for the event anyway. On the upside, the holiday season is coming up and candy pizza sales tend to see an increase.
“We know people had their own regular pizza dish in mind when we planned this event, but we promise this isn’t a trick!” Brie says, “We’re not sure how our order got messed up, but we might ask the authorities to investigate, but I’m not sure. It’s not necessarily an emergency, but it’s weird!”
Brie says the Pizza Party will be available to check out for around two weeks. The public is welcome to come visit, but be advised that only candy pizzas will be served. The Parlor dimension is located southwest of the Arcade dimension.
POLE DIMENSION LOOKS FORWARD TO UPTICK IN VISITORS
By: Arial
The holiday season is just around the corner!
With November almost coming to a close, it leads the dream world into the holiday season. The Pole dimension, the headquarters in the dream world for Santa’s operations, is expecting an uptick in visitors within the next few weeks.
As of today, there is still a little over a month until Christmas. Rainier, the Secretary of Christmas Affairs, recently noted that he is starting to see people book appointments to the Pole HQ for assistance relating to the holiday. These matters involve assistance with sending postal material, viewing past records, gift wrapping, or other general matters.
“I’m slowly starting to see people book appointments to come visit the Pole HQ!” Rainier said in a statement, “I think this year we’ll see a bigger number of visits than last year. If you remember, everyone in the dream world got put on the naughty list! We eventually figured out how to reverse it just in time, but boy we almost had a Christmas without Santa!”
Rainier doesn’t believe that anything abnormal will occur this year. In any case, he says he is monitoring for any strange anomalies.
“You know, Francis might’ve somehow put everyone on the naughty list last year, and while I don’t think he learned his lesson, I don’t think he’ll do anything like that for this holiday season,” Rainier says, “We have eyes and ears around the Pole making sure he doesn’t sneak in and do something bad. He is already on the bad side of the List- there’s not much else to lose, I guess!”
The secretary says it’s important to start planning ahead now for the holidays so you beat the foot traffic and lines at the Pole. The earlier you get your things done, the easier your Christmas will be.
“If you’re planning on sending postal material to multiple people, book an appointment at the Pole to get those assorted on time!” he says, “If you need help wrapping presents, better get those wrapped at the Pole pronto! We got the magic at the Pole to help you…book an appointment!”
While it still might be early to put up the lights and the trees, Rainier expects the dream world to slowly transition into the holiday season by early December.
“Yes, it might still be a little early for the decorations, but the dream world tends to start putting them up by early December,” Rainier says, “The Pole is always open to the public though! Just be sure to book an appointment…I can’t stress that enough!”
Wait times are currently low. To book an appointment at the Pole, please visit their website and complete the electronic form. You can also visit the Pole in person to book an appointment if you cannot access the electronic form.
Q/A: Ask the main cast
What are you thankful for this year?
Nate: I’m thankful for the fact that the dream world is still in one piece after everything!
Figment: I wanna give thanks to all the people who came by to say hi to me this year! Hi!!
Telly: I would like to extend my gratitude to the new televisions I have acquired for my collection!
Cal: Thankful that no darn disease spread through the dream world again!
Almoral: I'm thankful for all my friends who have stuck by me this year! I'm thankful for all the spirits who are nice! I'm thankful for Lucid too, duh!
Porter: I am thankful to all of our readers who continue to read our paper!
Epsilon: I'm thankful to have good friends around as well as my boyfriend.
Rainier: I wanna give thanks to all the good people out there this year! No numbers, but it's more than usual!
Cirrus: Very thankful for the great team we have at the DWPS for their hard work every day!
Dylan: My boyfriend!! And all my cool friends! That's who I'm thankful for!
Sylveran: Hmph. I'd give thanks to my lucky weapon here that hasn't failed me just yet.
M3-0W: I remain thankful to the DPF for providing me a place to work at that I enjoy a lot!
Willy: Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Cat! They came to visit me again this year and I'm soooo happy they did! I am so thankful for them!
Ophelia: Many thanks to the people at the DDCP for giving me a warm welcome this year as their new chief.
Finnegan: Well I'm thankful for the whole team who's doing an excellent job as always!
Kodia: I'm very thankful for all the visitors we get to the local forests and parks. It's amazing out there!
Eliazar: I'm thankful for my wonderful son who keeps me trying my best every day to be a good role model.
Francis: NOT AVAILABLE FOR COMMENT
Upcoming Events:
Now- Pizza Party 2023: The Parlor dimension has arrived in the game and it’s celebrating ten years since it first appeared! Come in and join the party! Though, they’re only serving candy pizzas…sorry about that!
Now- Dinner dimension returns: It smells heavenly in here. Have a seat. Let’s feast.
November 30- Christmas at Biz Mart: Sid just put up the Halloween decorations and he’s looking to pull out the Christmas ones already. Can’t he catch a break!
November 30- Corn Maze 2023 ends: Fall’s coming to a close soon and so is Cal’s maze! We got stalked in the maze this year, but at least the spirit was friendly!