THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, January 5, 2023
Edition 71
A NEW YEAR WITH NEW OUTLOOKS
By: Arial
It’s the beginning of another new year in the dream world, which means that many people are already looking forward to what 2023 has to offer.
2022 was a year of a lot of abnormalities in the dream world. It’s not known what 2023 will bring with it, but it’s safe to assume there will be new adventures and stories to tell by the end of it. We talked to a few residents and asked what they think this year will bring with it!
“I feel like this year might bring more customers to the Cafe! 2022 was a little bit below our expectations, but I hope this year is better! Of course, we’re gonna need some help from some of our staff like Mocha, Randolph, Layla, oh and Mercutio of course, I can’t forget him!” Artisan of the Cafe tells me.
“Let’s hope that this year we don’t have any problems with our mail sorting machine,” Chief Kaige of the DPDS says, “We want all postal material to go to their rightful addressees and it can only happen if our machine doesn’t act up again. I’m sure we’ll be fine though.”
“Who’s to say this year won’t be a great one?!” Sir Timely exclaims, “Keeping track of time sure makes it fly by, but that’s not to say each year doesn’t have some memorable moments. We just have to make them!”
“Here’s to hoping 2023 brings more foot traffic around here. It gets so lonely and boring being out in the middle of literal nothingness,” Mason, the owner of the Motel, tells me.
“More dance contests this year!” DJ Techno of the Club says, “Although…it would be pretty cool to host a big event with music being the theme of it! It’d be some sort of…music festival, music…concert? No no, it’d be like a music jam!”
“I think this year will be the same as last year’s,” Eliazar, head instructor at the DPF’s rescue operations team tells me, “If I were to trust my gut feeling, we’re going to have a repeat of last year’s strangeness with a few tweaks here and there. This also means Finn is going to be as annoying as ever. Some things never change I guess.”
So what do you think 2023 will bring? We’d love to hear what our readers have to say, so please feel free to send in your thoughts either on our website or send us a letter! From everyone in the Tribune, we wish you a very safe and bright new year!
WEATHER SERVICE ISSUES CAUTION AHEAD OF BUSY MONTH
By: Roman
The Dimension Weather Prediction Service is issuing some caution ahead of what’s expected to be a pretty active month.
According to internal data, the DWPS is picking up on some similar “hiccups” in the dream world that led to last year’s freak winter storm. Their forecasts don’t hit anything this week, but things could get bad again in at least two weeks.
“So thankfully with the weather data we collected last year after the freak winter storm, we’ve used it to tweak our winter forecast,” Cirrus of the DWPS says, “That’s why we forecasted a near-above average winter because we put last year’s outlier into the equation. It looks like it might be above average again, but we’re going to start issuing caution ahead of time.”
Unlike last year, Cirrus tells me that they should be prepared this year for any freak weather event.
“The DWPS is going to be tweaking advisories that get issued whenever there’s a weather event happening in certain dimensions. This means that the DWPS will tweak some definitions, criteria needed to issue, and give a revamp to the advisory system we use,” she explains, “Feedback we got last year included confusion over advisories and information that followed with them. We hope this new advisory system will be easier to understand once it is implemented entirely.”
Cirrus says the advisory system will undergo several concepts before the DWPS is satisfied with the overall feedback of the system that was most liked by the public. The DWPS will be rolling these concept advisory bulletins within the next few weeks.
“As a possible frigid winter approaches, we’re going to put to use these new advisory bulletins, so expect some of them to look weird, funky, clean, hard, or easy to understand. We encourage feedback from the public!” she says.
She also hints that DWPS may get an overall revamp this year, with new equipment, tools, models, and logo.
“Lots in store for the DWPS this year! But first things first: pay attention to the forecasts this month! We don’t want people to get caught in a snowstorm unprepared! Don’t panic, but we got you covered!” she exclaims.
For the latest forecasts, models, and other weather related information, please visit the DWPS’ website or head to your nearest DWPS forecasting office for additional resources.
Q/A: Ask the main cast (Resolution Edition)
In one word, what is your biggest new year’s resolution?
Nate: Motivation
Figment: Visitors
Telly: Televisions
Cal: Pumpkins
Almoral: Lucid
Porter: Writing
Epsilon: Drawing
Rainier: Spirit
Cirrus: Sunshine
Dylan: Adventure
Sylveran: Justice
M3-0W: Missions
Ophelia: Health
Finnegan: Overcome
Can you elaborate in one sentence why you chose that as your biggest resolution?
Nate: I think this year will be the year we get to the bottom of who’s behind all the weird stuff, but I’m gonna need motivation to get things done with ease!
Figment: Definitely going to need some more people to come by the Backrooms this year because it’s so boring and lonely in there!
Telly: I would just love to add even more televisions to my collection which is already quite big for a jolly good show!
Cal: Gonna need people to pick up my pumpkins this year and not any more pie, because I ain’t want more of that nonsense this year!
Almoral: Do I gotta explain more as to why the coolest, smartest, and cutest person in the dream world is my MAIN resolution this year?!?
Porter: I’d like to write more this year for the Tribune because I can never get tired of finding a great scoop!
Epsilon: I want to focus on painting this year, so drawing will definitely be a thing I will strive for.
Rainier: There’s gotta be a strong holiday spirit this year so we don’t repeat the mess from last month!
Cirrus: Here’s to hopefully having a year with more sunshine in the forecast for a bright 2023!
Dylan: So many adventures last year that I kinda hope we get more in 2023 because if there’s gonna be an excuse to get Epsilon to tag along, it’s gotta be fun and epic!!
Sylveran: May all those doing wrong this year get put into their rightful place, and just then, there may be justice done for the dream world.
M3-0W: The more missions I go on, the more insight I acquire, so there’s nothing wrong with wanting more work to get tasked to do!
Ophelia: I’m going to keep staying healthy in 2023 so I’m crossing my fingers and hoping there isn’t another disease that ruins plans in the dream world.
Finnegan: I’m looking to overcome a few things this year and that includes fear…but not the fear you get when out on missions- no no, I’m talking like…fear of rejection, I guess.
Finally, do you think 2023 will be better or worse than 2022?
Nate: Is there a “same” option? Uhh…well, I *hope* things are better this year, so I think better!
Figment: I think things will get worse! Lots of craziness to come, I think!
Telly: Perhaps 2023 will be better, but not until everyone reduces their screen time!
Cal: Better! I know people will be coming for MY pumpkins now more than ever!
Almoral: If Lucid comes back in my arms, then it’ll be better! And if not, it’ll be worse!!
Porter: I think 2023 will be better once you consider we are on alert for anything weird!
Epsilon: Meh, it could be better. Though I think it might be a tad bit worse.
Rainier: Better! People understand the true holiday spirit now, so it won’t be as bad!
Cirrus: We’re better equipped this year, so I’m going to say it’ll be better!
Dylan: Better! People need to stop being downers and look on the bright side a little!
Sylveran: As long as the person who did all of this is out there, it will be worse in 2023.
M3-0W: I did some test runs of this scenario and it looks like 2023 should be…better!
Ophelia: The DDCP learned much from the NEAP-1 incident, so this year we’re better off.
Finnegan: I would say “same,” but y’know, it’s hard to really know the future. I pick…better!
Upcoming Events:
Now- Holiday season continues: Deck the halls for one more week now, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
January 12- Holiday season ends: Be sure to check everything out, from the items, to the rooms, to the quests with badges…you have a week left before we pack it up until next December!
January 19- Winter Party 2023: The weather outside sure is about to get frightful again, but at least the fire is so delightful.
Later this year- A dream world unstable: There’s someone out there causing strange things across the dream world. It’s likely they want to see it fall, but why? And more importantly, who are they? Guess we'll find out soon enough...