THE SUBLIMINAL TRIBUNE
Thursday, January 26, 2023
Edition 74
SERVICES SUSPENDED AMID WINTER STORM’S PEAK
By: Porter
For a second year in a row, several services have been suspended due to a massive winter storm.
According to several announcements made by several agencies, excessive snowfall and harsh weather conditions have made it very difficult to operate outside. Because of this, workers and authorities cannot properly venture out into the storm safely.
The Dimension Postal Delivery Service announced yesterday morning that it would suspend its services later that day at noon. They cite that inclement weather puts their workers at risk when delivering mail out in the dream world. Chief Kaige further elaborates that postal services will resume once the storm dies down.
“Roads and pathways across the dream world are becoming too thick with snow for our postal delivery people,” she states, “There are also strong winds in certain areas causing whiteout conditions. This is not safe for travel, therefore, we will be suspending our services temporarily until the storm passes.”
Apart from the DPDS, the DPF’s rescue operations team- which also handles fire and medical services- has announced that they are also temporarily suspending services.
“This was a tough decision to make, mainly because I always try to keep our team running as much as possible to respond to as many emergencies as needed, but this isn’t safe for any of us,” Finnegan, leader of the rescue operations team says, “We are prepared to situations like this, but the excess snowfall is making it quite almost impossible to send out our team. And let’s not mention the wind- it’s blowing out there!”
Finnegan says that because emergency services are suspended, it is important to stay home and to stay safe to prevent any emergencies from arising.
“We lived through this last year, so I’m crossing my fingers that people are being safe and at home,” he says, “If you stay home, practice common sense and try not to cause any fires or injuries that could be life-threatening. If we can’t respond, we can’t come to you if you’re in danger. Please stay safe, I can’t stress that enough!”
Several other services and businesses have also temporarily shut down. The Dimension Power and Energy Company says they are still operating at certain power plants remotely, but cannot send out workers to restore power in the event of outages.
“Well thankfully, there haven’t been any outages reported in the dream world so far,” DPEC Chief Lumière says, “Our power plants can operate remotely without needing workers there, but if something fails or there’s an outage somewhere, we can’t send anyone out to check it out or make repairs until it’s safe outside. This is why we urge everyone to save as much energy to avoid outages and blackouts of the grid.”
Chief Lumière says that power plants remain working and operating so power can keep the lights on, though he admits that he’s hoping the plants and grid don’t fail.
“Last year, we had some isolated outages, but nothing too bad. Actually, at this point in time, we already had areas in the dark, so it’s good to see that we don’t have anyone in the dark thus far at this point. Let’s keep hoping it stays that way!”
The Dimension Weather Prediction Service has been monitoring the weather situation across the dream world. They state that weather stations appear to be fine so far, and actually believe the storm has reached its peak.
“Our weather data is suggesting that things have peaked regarding the storm. This means that things should start improving within the week,” Chief Tropos of the DWPS says, “However, weather conditions are still bad. Please refrain from heading outdoors for any reason whatsoever. Our meteorologists are working around the clock to keep everyone informed and up to date on conditions across the dream world.”
The DWPS will continue to monitor data and issue forecasts as usual. They predict the storm should die down by next week and ask the public to be patient. For the latest forecasts and other information about the weather, check out their website for additional resources.
DIA FINDS STRANGE ANOMALY AMONG DATA
By: Roman
The DPF’s Detective Investigation Agency (DIA) has recently reported that a strange anomaly has been found amongst the data being provided by the DWPS from weather stations.
According to the memo, Chief Daiki announced that Nate and M3-0W, who are investigating this huge matter, recently noticed a pattern in the data that seems to be repeating in intervals.
“Agents Hallucinate and M3-0W, who were tapped by Director Ferekides, reported to me that after they examined the data the DWPS is providing, they took notice of a repeated pattern that comes up several times in the data,” Chief Daiki says, “It appears to be morse code, so this wasn’t difficult to decipher, but we’re not sure what it means.”
Chief Daiki says that once the morse code in the data is deciphered, it doesn’t spell a word at all.
“We’re getting a repeated code of ‘S-E’ over and over again,” he says, “That’s all we’re getting, but at least it’s a lead.”
When Nate and M3-0W examined the data from last year, they also found out that the same code was being repeated back then.
“Hallucinate informed me that when he examined the data obtained from last year’s storm, the same familiar code appears over and over again,” Chief Daiki tells me, “Although we don’t know what it means, at least we know it is definitely not natural and that both storms- last and this year’s- are connected.”
The DIA has added this lead to their files, but confirm it may be a while before more leads pop up. They admit that it looks like things will slowly pick up from here once they begin to compare and contrast other data and hope to start connecting even more puzzle pieces together soon.
“I know things have been confusing and mysterious thus far, but the DIA feels confident that this year we’ll finally have a suspect or suspects identified,” Chief Daiki admits, “Give us some time and I’m sure Hallucinate and M3-0W will find more leads and ultimately, those at fault.”
If you have any tips or leads regarding any of the strange anomalies from the previous year, you can contact the DIA or submit a tip on their website as well.
Q/A: Ask Cirrus
Dear Cirrus, how come I can see lightning but not the thunder that accompanies it?
By: Kaboo M.
Hello Kaboo! You’re right that once you see lightning, you should hear thunder accompanying it. Lightning is HOT- like very hot and the flash lasts around a few tenths of a second. Because of the heat of the strike, the air is heated to as much as 33,000 degrees celsius which expands explosively and produces the sound we call thunder! However, sometimes we don’t hear thunder at all, and this is known as heat lightning. Heat lightning is simply lightning that is way too far away- more than 20km away- that we just can’t hear the thunder that accompanies it. Perhaps you might see a storm in the distance and see flashes of lightning, but no thunder. It’s just too far away for us to receive the sound of thunder, and actually, this type of lightning is much safer than regular lightning. In any case, if you see lightning and hear thunder, you better go indoors! Hearing thunder means you are still close enough to be struck by a lightning bolt- be safe!
Dear Cirrus, what are fronts?
By: Pasin True
Hello Pasin! Fronts are narrow boundary zones between air masses of different densities. One air mass is moving faster and advancing quicker than the other air mass. There are various types of fronts: cold front, warm front, stationary front, or an occluded front. The type of front that passes through determines the type of weather you may get. Cold fronts are often associated with strong storms, but move quickly through an area; warm fronts are known for clouds and moderate precipitation, but can be slower.
Dear Cirrus, what are barometers used for?
By: Preston Sure
Hello Preston! You may have seen our weather stations and noticed a circular device on it. That device is a barometer! Barometers are used to measure air pressure, and you can typically use a mercury barometer or an aneroid barometer to do so. The temperature outside influences the air pressure; cold air is denser than hot air is and the amount of water vapor in the air reduces the density of the air. Higher pressure is associated with fair weather while lower pressure is associated with stormy weather. You can use barometers to help you determine whether the weather is going to be fair or stormy soon!
Dear Cirrus, how is this winter storm compared to the one from last year?
By: Watts Dadiff
Hello Watts! It really does appear like last year’s storm is very similar to this year’s, but there are some differences. For example, it doesn’t appear like there is a record amount of snowfall like there was last year in many dimensions. Yes, roads are piling up with snow, but it’s not necessarily reaching historical record setting levels like it did last year. Another main difference is that the DWPS has not issued any “emergency” related advisories during this storm unlike last year. The dream world has mostly come to a halt, but we’re not close on level to the 2022 storm. Actually, we might be underperforming it a tiny bit, and the storm itself has already peaked. This means that things will slowly get better within the next week or so. In any case, we’re really glad things didn’t completely go downhill like last year, but this means we’ll have to remain vigilant next year as well and hope that we don’t get snowed in entirely again. Things could’ve been a LOT worse, but we’re thankful they weren’t and grateful to the public for giving us back their trust after last year’s mess. With all that being said, remain tuned in to the DWPS for the latest- we’re working around the clock during the storm and we won’t let you down!
Upcoming Events:
Now- Winter storm continues: There’s SNOW much snow out there, and maybe it’s not the right time for puns, but it’s ICE to let loose every now and then.
February 2- Beach dimension returns: Snow is in the forecast for the Beach, so don’t look forward to surfing because, well, that’s out of the picture.
February 2- Almoral’s mansion returns: No matter how many times Almoral opens his mansion, it won’t make Lucid visit him again- but that’s not to say he won’t ever will.
February 9- Fashion Show event: Best believe I’m still bejeweled, when I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer– get ready to put on your best outfits!