░T░H░E░ ░S░U░B░L░I░M░I░N░A░L░ ░T░R░I░B░U░N░E░
❄︎♒︎◆︎❒︎⬧︎♎︎♋︎⍓︎, ɥɔɹɐW 14x2, 2000+24
Edition 83+52
DPF, COUNCIL APPROVE OTHERWORLDLY MISSION
By: Porter
Following a request from the chief detective of the DPF’s Detective Investigation Agency, both the DPF and the Council have approved a mission that involves travelling to other worlds!
In a vote of 5-0 among the top chiefs at the DPF- excluding chief Daiki- and a vote of 5-2 from the Council of the dream world, the request to travel in-between worlds has been approved. Last week, the DPF detained three individuals who hail from a world called Wonderland and need help getting back home. In order to assist them better, a request to travel in between worlds was submitted.
While travelling to other worlds, excluding the real world, is not prohibited, it’s hard to do that in the first place if a person doesn’t have the knowledge to do so. Chief Daiki possesses this ability, but has never used it- until now. While the chief is able to do so freely, he decided to submit a request regardless as he is a part of the DPF’s “Big Six” chiefs.
“I am able to travel in-between worlds as I learned to do so many centuries ago,” the chief explained, “However, I have no business travelling to other worlds so I never put it to the test. This time is different. It’s an actual situation where there is no other choice.”
The chief’s request might seem simple enough, however, there is a catch. In the request, the chief detective specified usage of the Box dimension as a medium to do this mission.
“I am able to do this task freely in the dream world, but I am afraid of the consequences it could pose,” he explained, “We’ve seen rogue portals in the dream world cause all sorts of disruptions. While I will be safe in my actions, I prefer to do it in an environment that is strange, but surprisingly safer.”
The Box dimension is a strange dimension in the dream world. Subject to leaks in the past, those have been properly patched, and while there is no leak from the Box dimension this year, it’s going to be utilised for such a mission.
“The Box dimension is unstable at times, but I am going to use it as a medium to travel between worlds,” chief Daiki said, “The dream world and Wonderland are on track to collide with one another and that’s already causing strange things in the dream world. The Box dimension is fine, but under my supervision, it will not get out of control.”
The DIA chief says that there will also be a few others tagging along on this mission.
“I’ve tapped agent M3-0W as well as agent Hallucinate for this since they have already been in the Box dimension before,” he explained, “We’ve also located two individuals- Epsilon and Dylan- who personally know the three individuals we are assisting to get home. I have everyone under my supervision.”
The chief says that everything should be under control, but the dream world will be a bit corrupted until he manages to seal the rift portal causing this event.
“Our goal is to take these three home while also sealing the rift portal that’s bringing our two worlds together,” chief Daiki said, “Stay tuned and be prepared. Things will be strange, but I do not anticipate any grand danger. This will be fixed.”
This is an ongoing story. Stay tuned to the Subliminal Tribune for the latest information!
DREAM WORLD SEES ZANY DIMENSIONS AS WORLDS COLLIDE
By: Roman
The world of Wonderland and the dream world are on track to collide and it’s leaving behind some very strange happenings across our world.
While there is an ongoing mission to prevent our worlds from fully colliding, the dream world is seeing various areas of corruption and warping. Across the dream world, several dimensions are reporting some form of abnormality. With the dream world getting stranger, nothing appears to be too concerning.
Similar to the previous two years, things are strange, but still not causing widespread disruptions. There is not a lot of glowing puddles as before, but the errors and glitches are there. Some dimensions are seeing invisible objects, others seeing a colorful display of objects, and some seeing a different time of year!
"Went to visit the Laundromat, but it's upside down!" one resident said, "That's kind of funny, but I need to wash my clothes!"
"The Mall looks so colorful now!" another resident said, "It kinda hurts my eyes actually."
"I wanted to go check out the Playground, but wow! It's cold!" a resident said, "It's Christmas again! Was Rainier here?"
The DPF is receiving various reports of dimensions behaving and looking different. They emphasize that as the dream world and Wonderland get close to one another, dimensions will continue to get more warped and corrupted. Even so, things shouldn't be too dangerous.
"Things aren't looking normal like they usually do, but this can be reversed," a DPF spokesperson said, "We anticipate that chief detective Daiki's mission will be successful and prevent everything from falling apart. Fingers crossed!"
The dream world will likely be looking a little funky and silly for the next two weeks or so. Get out there and get silly!
Q/A: Ask Dylan
Dear Dylan, how are packages delivered via the DPDS?
By: Dee Liber
Hey Dee! Y’know, it’s not always straightforward with sending and receiving packages in the dream world! Packages have to go through a few steps before arriving at its recipient. Let’s go over that, shall we!?
Per DPDS regulations and rules, all packages- typically in boxes- must be dropped off at post offices. When you are there, you are asked a few questions such as your name and address, the recipient’s name and address, to state what the package is for, and to declare anything else. Once that’s done, your package will be in our hands!
From there, the package leaves the post office with its label and is sent to a special postal inspection office. The workers there put all packages on a conveyor belt and are passed through an x-ray machine. The workers on the machine will be able to see what’s in the package on their screen when it passes through the machine. The inspection worker must then make the decision to accept or hold it.
If your package is held back, the worker likely found something unusual with it. It’ll then be set aside for further inspection and if that’s cleared, it’s sent off on its usual route. If not, then it’s sent back to the post office it came from and the person who dropped it off will have to pick it up and fix any issue accordingly! If your package is accepted on the first go, it moves on to the next part!
From here, accepted packages then go to our grand sorting machine. There, they are sorted out depending on its destination. Once that is figured out, it will be delivered to the nearest post office that the address on the package is located by! Finally, that local post office will do one final sorting before it’s taken by a postal delivery worker. The postal delivery worker will then take it and ta-da! It’s out for delivery and delivered by the end of the day! How about that?
Rest assured, your package is always in safe hands! It goes on a little adventure before it gets to its destination. Packages sure travel some pretty good distances and if they could talk…why, they’d have some crazy tales to tell! All of this is for safety, of course, but hey just imagine your package on the wildest ride of its life. Must be fun being a package!
Dear Dylan, what’s your family like?
By: Pham Lee
Hi Pham! My family is pretty small, unlike Epsilon’s. You see, I was raised by my dad, who also happened to be a postal worker. I’m an only child (funny rabbit joke here…) as well, so there wasn't really any family drama growing up. My grandparents on both sides have long passed as well, but my father is still around! He’s retired now, but I followed in his footsteps to also become a postal worker! I should go visit him sometime…
Dear Dylan, do you like your job?
By: Joy Fullie
Hey Joy! Well, it’s alright. But don’t get me wrong! Being a postal delivery worker has its perks such as getting me out of the house, meeting people of all walks of life, and it gets me my steps! It’s kind of lonely though, but I can just put on some headphones and listen to music along the way! All in a hard day’s work!
Dear Dylan, what’s your opinion on spicy food?
By: Tu Hott
What up Tu! Not a big fan of spicy food. I prefer my food to be sweet in nature, because it matches my personality, duh!
Dear Dylan, what do you like most about Epsilon?
By: Kat Luver
Hey Kat! Epsilon can be too serious to the average eye, but he is very kind and sweet. He’s always stood up for me when I couldn’t as we grew up, so I think what I like most about him is knowing he constantly stands up and does good things for me. That’s love, I think.
Dear Dylan, what’s the best holiday of the year?
By: Holly Day
Hey Holly! Well isn’t it obvious? The best holiday of the year is none other than April Fool’s Day! Now, I’m not saying that because it’s also my birthday (that’s a lie- I totally am), BUT it is the silliest holiday ever! It’s the one day you can goof around and be the silliest you can be without anyone batting an eye. I prefer to be silly year-round though. Life’s better when you can get up and joke around with others and make them laugh! There’s nothing wrong with making others laugh! Spread laughter and joy everywhere you go, no matter the day! Be silly! No one’s stopping you! Blah!
J/A: Joke & Answer!
What did one frenchman say to the other frenchman while in Paris?
I’m not really sure. I don’t speak french to understand what they’re saying!
Why couldn’t the T-Rex clap its hands?
Because they’re extinct! Duh.
What do you call a medical student who graduated last in their class?
Doctor. Regardless of their placement, they are still doctors!
What did one muffin say to the other muffin while in the oven?
“Is it hot in here or is it just me?” To which the other muffin replied, “We’re in an oven, you idiot.”
So stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Okay so there’s a fox, a cow and a wolf who walk into a bar and-
Oh. You’ve heard this one before? Okay, nevermind.
Why did Jupiter excuse himself from the planetary family dinner?
He was feeling pretty gassy because y’know, he’s a gas planet. Smelly!
How come up is down and down is up and right is left and left is right?
Because it’s Opposite Day, you silly goose!
What did Lucid do for six years after 1930?
Nothing. He literally got sealed up and spent six years in complete isolation by himself. Rumor is he cried for six months straight in there. Tough stuff!
Upcoming Events:
Now- April Fool’s Party 2024: Today, the silliest party ever- not that there’s other silly parties out there- begins! Lots of strange things to see and…smell? Maybe not that. Okay well, at least there’s whoopie cushions again!
Now- Operation Collision: Join Daiki, Nate, M3-0W, Epsilon, Dylan, Willy, the Deuce and the Mad Hatter as they travel in between worlds in search of Wonderland! Along the way, you’ll also be patching up that rift portal that’s causing both worlds to collide. It’s an otherworldly adventure!
May 16- Noir Party 2024: It seems like something important has gone missing in the dream world. It’s time to put on our detective coat and solve this mystery at once!
July 25- Anniversary Party 2024: Happy birthday Biz Mart! You’re turning three years old! Hopefully we’ll get to throw you a grand party by then to celebrate! Cheers!
October 24- Halloween Party 2024: Something seems to be taking the spotlight away from the most awesomest and spookiest party of the year hosted by the coolest necromancer around! Could it be something relating to a certain someone?
November 14- Operation Blackout: Hmm…we’re getting kind of further away from the present timeline and I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean… It’s been teased before twice though…who knows?
February 13- Valentine’s Party 2025: Yeah sure why not! The loveliest party ever…coming in less than a year, again!
July 17- Summertime operation, I guess 2025: Uhhhh yeah sure? This is like super duper in the future but sure why not have another operation event like two summers from now? Will Lucid be there? Honestly I’m not sure if it’ll even take place on this date. Anyone out there?
December 25- Christmas Day 2025: Okay this for sure I know is Christmas. It’ll land on a Thursday in 2025! I wonder what Rainier will have in store for us by then…
December 31- The End & New Year’s Eve 2026: When I say ‘The End’ I mean it in the sense of the end of the year. Also, Lucid’s birthday! Funny enough, it’ll be on a Thursday in 2026. There’s so much that’ll happen from now until then. Stay tuned…